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You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss...
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You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss...
A kiss is one of the most intimate and sensuous things you can experience with another person. Unfortunately, while there’s no “right” way to kiss, many people experience anxiety about kissing or don’t know how to ask for a kiss. Fear not! Whether you’re getting ready for your first kiss, or you’re an experienced kisser and just want to improve your game for your first kiss with a new partner, you’ve come to the right place.
The best type of kiss is one that uses different variations... such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French kiss, maybe gently sucking on your partner's upper or lower lip. And don't just leave kisses to the lips… kiss the cheeks, the chin or the eyelids. This can be very seductive and romantic.
Closed Lips - This is like the type of kiss you'd give your grandma or aunt. Instead of opening your mouth when your lips meet, keep them closed. This is also a good way of letting your partner know this is as far as it goes. It also makes a great hello/good-bye kiss or a great first time kiss if you're nervous.
French Kissing - This is the most popular type of kiss. This involves touching your tongue with your partner's and it can be quite a pleasant experience. There are a few tips to create a great French kiss.
Suck Kissing - This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead of French kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip.
Nip Kissing - This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your date. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle so as not to hurt your partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.
Surprise Kissing - This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens. Tips Be kissable. Use lip balm, especially if your lips tend to get dry and chapped. Soft lips are simply more inviting. Most importantly, nobody wants to kiss someone with a stinky mouth, so carry some breath mints or gum with you, especially if you’re going out on a date. Breath mints are preferable, because you can use them in a pinch and not have to worry about getting rid of them. Also be sure to stay well hydrated; a dry mouth usually will smell worse. Of course, make sure you don’t have anything stuck in your teeth, either.
Test the waters. Pay attention to signals that the other person is into you and is ready for a kiss. Does he or she seem comfortable touching you. Do they brush up against you or frequently enter your personal space with playful, innocent touches. Has the subject of kissing come up in conversation? If you haven’t noticed any of these signals, but the person does seem “into you,” try discreetly and innocently breaking the touch barrier (guys will generally be very receptive to this, many girls will not) or bringing up kissing when you’re talking. The key is to be subtle and to watch the other person’s reaction. Wait for the right moment. There’s usually no hurry for a kiss, especially a first kiss with someone, so be patient and wait until the mood is right. Some good times are at a romantic movie after or during an onscreen kiss, walking in the moonlight, or during a particularly intimate conversation. Wait until the two of you are alone so that the other person will feel more comfortable and so that nobody will see if your attempt to kiss is rejected. Get permission for the kiss. You usually don’t have to ask if you can kiss someone, but you do need to make sure your partner is willing to kiss you. The easiest way, of course, is to ask, but it just makes things awkward so don't . Ask “May I kiss you?” or say “I’d like to kiss you,” and lean in right away. Many girls (and guys) don't want to be asked: they prefer that you be confident enough to take a risk and just go for it. One way to do so is to stop whatever you’re doing and silently look into the person’s eyes for a moment or two. If your partner's eyes drift down to your lips that’s a pretty good sign that he or she is ready for a kiss–chances are the reaction may be subtler, however. Another good way to get permission is to just lean in and try to kiss the person or gently pull him/her toward you for a kiss. If the person pulls away at any time, he or she is not ready for a kiss.
Approach for the kiss. Approach slowly and smoothly. Depending on your starting position you may need only to turn your head, or you may need to lean in a bit. You may want to use your hands to gently urge your partner’s body or head into position–you just want to guide his or her movement a little, you don’t want to forcibly move any part of his or her body or hold your partner in an uncomfortable position–but in general you just want to position yourself correctly and let your partner meet you. As you near your partner’s lips, maintain eye contact. You may want to close your eyes after your lips meet to heighten the sensuality of the kiss (and to avoid staring at the pores on his or her face). Kiss gently. There are many kinds of kisses, from quick pecks to sweet, passionate kisses. There’s a time and place for all of these, but your first kiss with someone should be gentle and romantic. Don’t press your mouth onto your partner’s -- just let your lips meet--and don’t try to push your tongue into his or her mouth. A soft, closed-mouth-to-closed-mouth kiss is perfect. Break the kiss for a moment, keeping your head close to your partner’s, and if your partner moves to kiss you back or seems to like it and doesn’t pull away, go in for another, longer, but still gentle, kiss. Make the kiss the reason for the kiss. A lot of people (mostly men) seem to treat kisses as nothing more than a prelude to something else, and will try to quickly move into French kissing or start putting their hands in inappropriate places. Good kissers concentrate on the kiss, and they kiss, at least seemingly, expecting nothing more. Enjoy the experience, and don’t move too fast.
Let your partner participate in the kiss. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read your partner’s body language and pay attention to clues (sighs or moans) that tell you you’re doing something he or she likes. Let your partner kiss you back, and move with him or her as long as you’re comfortable with what he or she is doing. Breathe. If you’re kissing for an extended period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Gasping, however, or turning blue is not romantic. Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. You do not forget how to breathe! Use your hands. While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just dangling at your sides. Embrace your partner, cup his or her face very gently in your hands, or run your hands through his or her hair. Another turn on for the first kiss is to gently caress their shoulder while you kiss. It shows you are comfortable with him/her. Don't forget your manners! Be a gentleman (or a lady) at all times, and you'll be more kissable. Be polite and patient. Don't expect a kiss on the first date. If you act polite, your partner might go out with you again and then you might get a kiss once he or she is more comfortable with you. That said, as you get a little older, people become more comfortable with kissing and it’s polite to gently try to kiss your partner if your date has gone well. If you don’t, he or she might think you’re not interested. Just keep in mind that trying to kiss someone is not the same as expecting to kiss someone. If your partner isn’t into it, politely respect that. Experiment. Over time, you’ll want to try a variety of different kisses for different moods and times. Change it up to keep things interesting.
There are a lot of fish in the sea. You may get turned down a lot, but don’t take it personally. Learn from your mistakes if you can. Sometimes the timing is bad or the approach too forceful - and approach your next opportunity confidently. Make sure your hair is out of your face. Also, if you have glasses, be careful not to poke their eyes out by accident or anything. Take contacts into consideration if you have them, if not, just, be, careful.
BE IN THE MOMENT. You will not kiss as well if your mind is somewhere else. For example, when kissing, try to avoid thoughts like “What is he/she thinking about?” “Do I look okay tonight?” or anything else. Basically try not to be too self-conscious, or have ANY thoughts outside the kiss if you can help it. Instead, concentrate on the way the other person's lips feel against yours. PAY ATTENTION. Are their lips/tongue moving slower or faster than yours? Go with it. Respond in a way similar to the way they are kissing you. Of course there is room for you to be experimental, but you need to make a connection first. Unless whomever you're kissing is just totally soulless, you can have a good kiss with just about any one. The key is to feel it. When both people approach a kiss with this mentality the moment can be absolutely amazing. It's okay to be nervous, but when you think there is a right time, do not wait for him/her to make the move first, take action, if you know that person is into you, they will take it. If they turn away and don't accept your gesture, wait, if they know you're into them, they will know that you can wait patiently for another time of touching. Don't always try to “pretty up.” The girl/guy loves you for the way you are, and you don't have to look different and pretty up for them, don't load up on make-up. Just be yourself. Never open your eyes. Just let it happen. Close your eyes and enjoy it, because the person might have open his or her eyes too, which will lead to an awkwardness.
Warnings Do not force anything! If someone indicates that they don’t want to be kissed, don’t persist. Maybe try again some other day if things are going well. Kissing is not supposed to be aggressive, and it's definitely not a contest of who can get their tongue the farthest into their partner's mouth. Don't kiss a guy or girl who has a disease or cold sores in their mouth, that will hurt you in the future! No slobber! No one likes needing to wipe their mouth after a good-bye kiss. Don't move to open-mouthed too soon. Let the other person give you signals. Jim in Amarillo (aka amrilojim)      |
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