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| Blogs > shannalvs2swllow > A Sex Addicts Self Discovery |
She Said Porn Was Cheating ??
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She Said Porn Was Cheating ?? I am really having porn issues this week. A friend of mine told me recently that he has to sneak to watch porn because his wife considers it cheating. He also believes that if she were ever to catch him pleasuring himself it may be a deal breaker. After asking more questions, I also found out that they don't have regular sex, when he comes home after a bad day she never offers up the "feel better" blow job,and she doesn't own or play with any toys. And yes, he has tried to talk to her, buy her things, romance her, etc... I have since asked other marrieds about this and in several cases it was about the same for them. I have been married since I was 25 to my much older husband and have had some kind of sex with him at least twice a day up until 3 years ago. Granted, I was very young when I got married but,I have just always believed that giving my husband/partner pleasure when he needed it was part of my job as his wife and partner. Porn watching has been an open experience in our home that we have always enjoyed together or alone. Ok, it's just me now, but whatever. As far as the sex toys, I received my first one when I was 21, not the first time I played with one, just the first time I owned my very own. My husband regularly buys me toys and various other playthings. Now I get them so i'll leave him alone, but at least he buys me quality merchandise. My husband sees me pleasure myself at least 3 times a week, he doesn't freak out about it, it's not a deal breaker. I'm not completely naive, obviously some partners aren't putting out, otherwise sites like this wouldn't exist and I wouldn't have the #1BF. I knew it wasn't just my spouse but, I guess I just had no idea that it was so common. I just don't understand the thought process behind this at all. You won't give me sex but you won't let me watch porn or touch myself? The funny thing is, if the partners like this were ever to catch the husband fucking someone else, they would be the first one to say the famous "How could you do this to me & why?" What do you mean why? Of course they fucked someone else, you said NO everyday for a year. I don't get it, but that's just me. By the way, Last night I did watch satisfying porn, finally. It had some hot riding scenes and a bad ass cum shot so I was a happy girl. Come For The Booty, Stay For The Brains |
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4/19/2008 3:14 pm |
Wow, some people amaze me. Porn is cheating? Does she get jealous when he eats other peoples food in restaurants too? I'd say to her, some married women would be grateful if all their husbands did "wrong" was watch some porn.
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**An interesting comment sent to me via message: I agree with you on why do the spouse or partner say " How could you do this to me?". My ex wife would rarely give me sex. I had to work for it and it sucked. A recent gf was wanting it all the time and it was great. We broke up over an age difference of 9 years. Come For The Booty, Stay For The Brains
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4/21/2008 7:12 am |
this definately falls under the catagory of "things that make you say hmmmmmm??"  
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I've dated girls who felt like watching porn was cheating, and didnt want me to ever ever watch it. Needless to say those girls are not around anymore. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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4/21/2008 9:02 am |
My wife was like the one you described at the beginning of this post. One time I told her I had gone on the internet for porn, and she said it hurt her feelings, made her feel like she was inadequate. I said, you never have sex with me, you are inadequate. That's when the fight really started ...  Blogging: It is Cheaper Than Therapy !
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Ok I just have to say this. If I walked in and my guy was watching porn and pleasuring himself, it would turn me on so much,I can promise you he wouldn't have to finish the job himself. Come For The Booty, Stay For The Brains
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4/21/2008 10:51 am |
Whats funny about this is, when we, men, were all single the majority of our girl friends could not get enough. Then once we got married and more so had kids things changed. Not neccesairly at once but slowly over time. I seriously believe this has to do with an identity problem within our partner. She somehow cannot be a mom, wife and lover. The women i have met that seem to be able to pull this off are the ones whos mothers modeled it to them or their culture teaches it. As far as a women not allowing her man to watch porn especially if she is not fullfilling her duties, its simply a confidence/jeasously issue.
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4/21/2008 7:00 pm |
Yes I do know what you talk of here, they have groups for this, His my name is ---- and I am a porn addict..... It all started.... I will always watch and ultimately would like to be able to enjoy it with someone as well...
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4/22/2008 10:30 am |
I like it when my husband watches porn....and he loves it when I do. It is not cheating....at all. That's like saying it's cheating to watch a movie starring a fantasy girl or guy, and enjoying it or becoming aroused. We all lust, even the ones who say they don't. Is it cheating to masturbate?? Is it cheating to fantsize?? I think not! {=}
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4/23/2008 1:57 am |
Ok I just have to say this. If I walked in and my guy was watching porn and pleasuring himself, it would turn me on so much,I can promise you he wouldn't have to finish the job himself.
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4/25/2008 9:24 am |
Question did the guys not know this was the case when they began dating these women? Guys have to be a little more aware of what it is they want. I have always loved the bad girls and have always been able to find the good girls who are naughty. You have to know yourself and what it is you are looking for to make sure you don't wind up with a prude. The one's I feel sorry for are the guys and girls who got the bait and switch. You know they were dating and had crazy sex in everyroom, had to pull over on every trip or just keep driving lol then after marriage you think they are married to a nun (none in the morning none in the evening) that sucks.
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Here's the deal. For many women, sex is used as a negotiating tool in the relationship. Some women use sex, or the promise of sex, to get what they want. When a guy goes around that, and watches porn to get pleasure, it takes a lot of the bargaining chip away from that woman. I can't tell you how many women I have seen say that they won't have sex with their guy if he doesn't (insert: wash the dishes, clean the car, do the laundry, etc), and they use that as a tool to get what THEY want. It's sad how many marriages suck like that.
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I think you are right on with that. I have heard that before. Yet a wife like myself gets shot down all the time and is never appreciated. Come For The Booty, Stay For The Brains
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I just don't understand the thought process behind this at all. You won't give me sex but you won't let me watch porn or touch myself? The funny thing is, if the partners like this were ever to catch the husband fucking someone else, they would be the first one to say the famous "How could you do this to me & why?" What do you mean why? Of course they fucked someone else, you said NO everyday for a year. I don't get it, but that's just me. Exactly! As far as porn is concerned, I've grown to not like the commercial stuff as much as I use to. There has always been something that kind of didn't do it for me by watching a female fake excitement, and orgasms. Overally dramatic in a sense. I'd much rather watch "real" people, flaws and all, that I know are genuinely enjoying one another. To me it's more attainable. I guess that's one of the reason I'm on this site.
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I agree with you on the porn. The amateur is really doing it for me right now too. I used to love watching myself the best but became to critical and left them safely hidden away for now. If you haven't before, you should check out YOUPORN they have everything you could ever want there. Trust me. I'll be waiting for my thank you note.... Come For The Booty, Stay For The Brains
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