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Blogs > racyredlace > The Lingerie Drawer

From the mouths of the aged.  

racyredlace 53F
503 posts
11/21/2014 12:22 pm
From the mouths of the aged.
I work with the elderly, absolutely LOVE my job. I don't have to wipe<b> butts </font></b>or anything, my job is "Life Enrichment Coordinator", I basically goof off with the old folks all day. The residents are usually pretty quiet, well behaved, easy to love. Not so much today though.

Here are a few snippets of conversations from today.

Downstairs, in the "dementia unit"

The scene: The dining room, I'm seated across from sweet little old lady #1 and beside sweet little old lady #2.
Sweet little old lady #1: "grrrrrooooannn.....ugh.....mmmmmph.....ummmmph....oooohhhh"
Me: "Why are you groaning?"
SWOL#1: "Why am I driving? I'm not driving"
Me (a little louder): "No, why are you GROANING, are you having pain?"
SWOL#1: "No, I'm ok, I can drive if you want, but we have to take your car, my took my car."
Me (practically yelling): "I didn't ask you to drive, I asked why you were groaning."
SWOL #1: "Well just tell me where I'm driving you."
SWOL#2 (muttering under her breath): "You're already driving me crazy"
SWOL#1: "Did you hear what that bitch just said to me?"

The scene: The upstairs dining room, playing bingo now. A visiting nurse and her trainee walk through the room and say good bye. The trainee is a young man with a totally bald head.
SWOL#3 (who is 99 years old, very prim and proper, has no sense of humor): "I bet his head gets cold."
Me: (speechless, blinking incredulously)
SWOL #4 : "I'm sure he wears a hat."
Me: "I think we should take a field trip to Buffalo."
SWOL #4: "You know, the more you talk, the more sure I am that YOU. ARE. CRAZY."
Me: "Well I keep coming back here every day don't I? I shouldn't even have to speak to confirm the state of my mental health."

On my way out the door, I catch this happening, downstairs again.
Coworker (talking to our resident kleptomaniac, SWOL #5) : "Hey, can I have that please?"
SWOL#5: "No, I'm sorry, it's mine."
Coworker: "No, I'm pretty sure it's my pen."
SWOL#5: "No, this is my pen."
Coworker: "I really need that pen, I didn't bring anymore"
SWOL#5: "Maybe you should buy your own fucking pen, this one is mine." (Stuffs the pen down her pants)
Me: "Have a good weekend folks." (Runs out the door)
lookinghard6669 58M
365 posts
11/21/2014 12:25 pm

 sounds better than being lost in the mountians!!!!


lookinghard6669 58M
365 posts
11/21/2014 12:26 pm

 Sounds better than being lost in the mountians!!!!


funluvrntn 61M/51F
25 posts
11/21/2014 12:54 pm

 But just think, that they say the more you laugh the longer you live. And since this place is full of comical incidents you should live a long life and wind up being part of this party some day with great stories.


xSativaMaximuSx 51F
420 posts
11/21/2014 2:06 pm

 oh that was a fun read...had me giggling!
**Mil Besitos**
xSativaMaximuSx


justplayin16061 54F
74 posts
11/21/2014 7:36 pm

 LOL. We could trade war stories. I work with dirty old men.


lookinghard6669 58M
365 posts
11/21/2014 7:40 pm

 Thats what I'm going to be!!! A dirty old man!!!


racyredlace replies on 11/25/2014 5:27 am:
Pretty sure you will be in the dirty old man hall of fame

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