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| Blogs > reallyready46 > Ramblings of a middle aged man |
O joy a Wedding!
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O joy a Wedding! No not mine, lol. I have been really tied up lately so I thought I would post a rant over my weekend activity. I went to a friend's childs wedding. Ok I am divorced. This may color my views some. Why is it that people in general get so stupid over weddings? Please do not use the word tradition here without explaining why. So years ago when I got married, I refused a best man. I never had a party. I had no desire to get drug into a strip bar. I understood the "facts of Life" so no buddy had to explain that to me. The Gazebo was small and space was limited. Folks easily seated themselves with some family members helping. The rings sat on a small table behind the Pastor. Any time I objected to costs or something else I was told , well its the Brides day. REALLY, I thought when you got married it was the man and woman coming together? I can see a maid of honor and a best man, but the rest of the leeches hanging around up there? Everyone knows the bridesmaids always have to wear the uglist dresses or colors to make the Bride look better. So The Groom and rest of the guys come in the front of the church, no one cares. No one stands nor do they get to come up the Aisle. No music, nothing. Suddenly when the bridesmaids come in, everyone is suppose to turn around and watch them come in. Then when the Bride comes in everyone stands? What makes her so special? Oh yeah she is getting married. I thought the guy up front waiting for her is getting married today too?? Talk about sexist. Not that I go to that many weddings, but I refuse to turn around to watch the bridesmaids come in. I also refuse to stand for the Bride. As the role of women and men has changed and with that Marriage why are we so stuck in the past? Any wonder why men feel less inclined toward marriage? Any wonder why men often do not feel the commitment durning the Marriage? Or are we really telling guys they are second rate citizens. Anyone guy that has went through a divorce can tell you the answer to that one. If we truly are seeking marriage that is a commitment of both parties with shared responsabilty then why do we allow this to go on? Anyone care to share?? |
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Thanks for your comments. I must really take objection to yours. You are just the kind of person I am talking about here. If you really took to heart what I am talking about you would clearly see that I AM talking about the celebration of TWO lives. Not just the Brides day and blowing off and disrespecting the Groom. Some traditions should die. I also disagree that the ritual has nothing to do with the outcome. I believe that the beginning is most important. I personally have seen the damage that over spending on a wedding has caused. Creating a huge debt that saps a couples dreams right away. So I guess by your logic its ok to stand to honor the woman as a mans property? Hey its tradition by your rules. I comment on life as I see it. Having survived a wedding where I was beat across the head that IT WAS NOT my day, certainly affect my views. Having survived a marriage where my ex dam near bankrupted me without me knowing, certainly has affected my views. Surviving a divorce that as a Man I was told I didn't matter and it didn't matter if I could survive on what was left, It dam sure affected my views. Sorry if my views have affected your rose colored glasses. I speak for those that often can not or do not know how to. If another view point is upsetting to you then, may I suggest you just not stop by any more. And for the record the reception took so long the Cake never was cut even after 4+ hours. My guest and I had to leave. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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Your logic and argument are completely out to lunch. You are complaining about the wedding ceremony which is a celebration and recognition of two people pledging their love. Not all couples have traditional weddings but those that do should not be ridiculed any more than a couple who decides to have their wedding dressed in scuba gear at the bottom of the ocean or a couple who decides to say their vows while sky diving. The type of ceremony and the rituals the couple decide to include has nothing to do with the commitment and the outcome of the marriage. Be happy for your friend and his/her child. Be happy you have a friend who wanted to share this special day with you. Be happy your friend lived long enough to see his/her child get married--some parents aren't as fortunate. Be happy you got free cake and didn't have to pay the bill for the wedding. I've read several of your blog posts. I think you look at life as the glass being half empty.You sound bitter. But worse, you sound like it is your way or the highway. I comment on life as I see it. Having survived a wedding where I was beat across the head that IT WAS NOT my day, certainly affect my views. Having survived a marriage where my ex dam near bankrupted me without me knowing, certainly has affected my views. Surviving a divorce that as a Man I was told I didn't matter and it didn't matter if I could survive on what was left, It dam sure affected my views. Sorry if my views have affected your rose colored glasses. I speak for those that often can not or do not know how to. If another view point is upsetting to you then, may I suggest you just not stop by any more. And for the record the reception took so long the Cake never was cut even after 4+ hours. My guest and I had to leave.
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Your logic and argument are completely out to lunch. You are complaining about the wedding ceremony which is a celebration and recognition of two people pledging their love. Not all couples have traditional weddings but those that do should not be ridiculed any more than a couple who decides to have their wedding dressed in scuba gear at the bottom of the ocean or a couple who decides to say their vows while sky diving. The type of ceremony and the rituals the couple decide to include has nothing to do with the commitment and the outcome of the marriage. Be happy for your friend and his/her child. Be happy you have a friend who wanted to share this special day with you. Be happy your friend lived long enough to see his/her child get married--some parents aren't as fortunate. Be happy you got free cake and didn't have to pay the bill for the wedding. I've read several of your blog posts. I think you look at life as the glass being half empty.You sound bitter. But worse, you sound like it is your way or the highway. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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Interesting idea, but if that is true it will make me firmly stay in my seat also. I have never considered women property nor would I do so. Attitude ME? 
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Then when the Bride comes in everyone stands? What makes her so special? Oh yeah she is getting married. I think it had a lot to do with the idea that a woman was considered property and she was being passed from her father to her new husband. So, yes indeed, it was very sexist, but not for the reason you are thinking. Bit of an attitude dear?
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