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Blogs > reallyready46 > Ramblings of a middle aged man

That line between Love and like  

reallyready46 64M
531 posts
4/20/2019 2:18 pm
That line between Love and like

So meeting people on here over the years and talking with them has certainly had its ahhh moments. A huge one has been the times of Love and like. So I certainly get the nsa relationship. That is a like thing, no love no attachments just come in have sex and leave. Where it starts to get fuzzy for me is when people want a FWB to make love with them but not be in love with them. So I understand the lack of English words regarding love. The Greeks had several types of love, for some reason we just have one word for it all, love.

It seems as if many define love differently. I met a couple once that, she wanted to be loved he just thought she wanted a good screwing. I met another that confused me totally. I had to become his wingman to get her to the shower to bed her. Oh no kissing allowed. So whom am I trying to get to in this scene?

So do you regard kissing as Love? Saying certain things as Love? Is there a sexual love vs relationship love? Would like to know what others think about this. Let me know.

reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
4/21/2019 8:17 pm
    Quoting Heathen_G:
    a FWB to make love with them but not be in love with them. ... People don't really "Make love", they "Express an intimate loyalty", but the problem with that is ; among those who are Fwb's, there is no loyalty, not even intimate loyalty. The fwb can date whomever he or she wants, and could even establish a more serious relationship with another , thereby ending the fwb with you.

    So it sounds like she just wanted the "Boyfriend package", to pretend with you. Like when men go see a pro, and pay for the "Girlfriend package".... the pro "puts on a performance". It's hollow, means nothing to her, but the man feels good. .... So it seems this is what you did for your fwb.

    some reason we just have one word for it all, love. ... But it's not actually "Love" .. We should use words like , "Smitten", "Besotted" or "Infatuated" , more often. We mistakenly say, "You are falling love", when they really mean, "You are becoming infatuated". Or, "You're smitten". This is not "Love". And even "Love" is vague. I have come to reason that "Love" is merely expressing an "Intimate loyalty" to someone, and that can be a tenuous situation. As long as someone gets what they need from you, they will continue to be "Intimately loyal" to you. .....But if someone better comes along? The "Intimate loyalty" could shift.

    So do you regard kissing as Love? .... No. Not even kissing with tongue. ... Not love , either. Haven't you ever been out night-clubbing, found some women and kissed them, maybe also finger them, in the darkness and loudness of the club? Was that love? No , of course not. Just good fun.

    Saying certain things as Love?.... Nope. The way I see it, if you have to "Tell" someone you love them, you probably don't love them, or they doubt you love them....... Actual love, or in other words, actual intimate loyalty is "Expressed" through actions, deeds, not stated [written or verbal].

    Is there a sexual love vs relationship love? ... No. Try practicing leaving the word "Love" out.

    You can have sex without being intimately loyal, to anyone, .....but you can also have sex and BE intimately loyal , to someone. [or more than one].
Great points! Sorry never tried fingering someone at a Club. I agree with you on most people are not in "love" but something else. However it seems many refer to it as Love and not some thing else.

Heathen_G thank you for you interesting and thoughtful response. I look forward to seeing what it gets others to say.


reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
4/21/2019 8:12 pm
    Quoting fillbothenz:
    More an issue between love and lust, don't you think?
Not sure, that is why I am asking.


reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
4/21/2019 8:11 pm
    Quoting  :
I myself do not think kissing is love. However I do understand why some people have a no kissing rule.


reallyready46 64M
1383 posts
4/21/2019 8:09 pm
    Quoting HAMONMAN:

    I think it requires context.
    Kissing can fall in to either category (sex kiss / love kiss).
    It may be hard to get a consensus to form a definition in absolute terms.

    Let's see what blogland has to say.
I hope others will add their thoughts.


Heathen_G 65M
7974 posts
4/20/2019 6:01 pm

 a FWB to make love with them but not be in love with them. ... People don't really "Make love", they "Express an intimate loyalty", but the problem with that is ; among those who are Fwb's, there is no loyalty, not even intimate loyalty. The fwb can date whomever he or she wants, and could even establish a more serious relationship with another , thereby ending the fwb with you.

So it sounds like she just wanted the "Boyfriend package", to pretend with you. Like when men go see a pro, and pay for the "Girlfriend package".... the pro "puts on a performance". It's hollow, means nothing to her, but the man feels good. .... So it seems this is what you did for your fwb.

some reason we just have one word for it all, love. ... But it's not actually "Love" .. We should use words like , "Smitten", "Besotted" or "Infatuated" , more often. We mistakenly say, "You are falling love", when they really mean, "You are becoming infatuated". Or, "You're smitten". This is not "Love". And even "Love" is vague. I have come to reason that "Love" is merely expressing an "Intimate loyalty" to someone, and that can be a tenuous situation. As long as someone gets what they need from you, they will continue to be "Intimately loyal" to you. .....But if someone better comes along? The "Intimate loyalty" could shift.

So do you regard kissing as Love? .... No. Not even kissing with tongue. ... Not love , either. Haven't you ever been out night-clubbing, found some women and kissed them, maybe also finger them, in the darkness and loudness of the club? Was that love? No , of course not. Just good fun.

Saying certain things as Love?.... Nope. The way I see it, if you have to "Tell" someone you love them, you probably don't love them, or they doubt you love them....... Actual love, or in other words, actual intimate loyalty is "Expressed" through actions, deeds, not stated [written or verbal].

Is there a sexual love vs relationship love? ... No. Try practicing leaving the word "Love" out.

You can have sex without being intimately loyal, to anyone, .....but you can also have sex and BE intimately loyal , to someone. [or more than one].


fillbothenz 75M
117 posts
4/20/2019 5:40 pm

 More an issue between love and lust, don't you think?


HAMONMAN 64M
13128 posts
4/20/2019 3:05 pm
I think it requires context.
Kissing can fall in to either category (sex kiss / love kiss).
It may be hard to get a consensus to form a definition in absolute terms.

Let's see what blogland has to say.


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