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Attention I'm disappointed with Erin. The last time I talked to her a few weeks ago, we had a great visit at lunch. She said she liked me a lot, and she was looking forward to seeing me again. Since then, it seems that she can't be bothered to answer my texts or emails, leaving me to wonder - what the fuck happened in the meantime? She's been leaving Facebook status messages like "Life is great!" and posting pictures of herself smiling with her friends. Yeah, there's a possibility that I'm misinterpreting things. Just because a woman doesn't respond immediately to my messages doesn't mean that she doesn't like me anymore. But she used to respond right away. And if she's just taking her time to get back with me, that DOES mean that I'm far less important to her than I used to be. I don't see any way to repair this. If/when she ever talks to me again, I will be interested to hear her explain why I've been getting the cold shoulder. The likely explanation is that she freaked out a little bit. I keep forgetting that Isaac and Erin are so new to open relationships, because they seem so good at communicating with each other and with the people they've been having sex with. But they are very new, and maybe having a relationship with me is too much to deal with. I think Erin may still like me, but doesn't want to have sex anymore. Further, she feels bad about it, and doesn't want to admit it to me. This would be disappointing to me for two reasons. One, of course, is the absence of her attention. The other is that a sexless friendship is perfectly OK with me, and I thought she would understand that. I'm disappointed in her character. I really thought she would have been able to communicate something like that to me. Even if she doesn't want a friendship anymore, she should tell me. I'm not a man who is given to feckless emotion. I'm certainly not a jealous man. The women I'm close to can BE fickle. Lilith is a good example of this. She left me for another man, and seems to be spending her life these days by fucking everyone in the country BUT me. Lilith and I still talk in a way that is meaningful. In fact, I may love her more than any of the women that I AM sleeping with, because we have great communication. About the only real thing you can do to upset me is to make a decision about me without telling me, and that's what I fear Erin has done. I'm not going to spend a lot of time fretting about this. I needed to vent in this blog, and I've done that. But when you date - a lot - you can't be too upset when one relationship seems to go south. I may be feeling especially sensitive lately because I've been missing Jasmine's attention too. It's been a few months with her. Jasmine has also been too busy to talk with me lately, but it's different with her. I don't feel at all like Jasmine is avoiding me. It seems like things are finally going her way again after a long time, and I'm really happy for her, even if I do miss chatting with her. Lilith and Jasmine are two women I can communicate with very well, and I trust them both. Maybe it's unfair to compare Erin to them, but I thought she had so much potential. I thought she could be a great friend. But now it seems that this relationship is dead before it really even got off the ground. |
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You vented, and fretted even tho you didn't want to. Stop your worrying and talk to her...directly, no texting, and no waiting for her to call you back. If she is avoiding you for some reason, just leave a message on her machine and let her know how you feel. You are wonderful at communicating, I am sure that you will say something in such a way that doesn't make her feel guilty or make her defensive. If it were me, I would want a such a call, but then I appreciate directness and honesty. To know that you care about her and the friendship regardless of the sex may be what she needs to hear. On the other hand, you mentioned she IS younger and fairly new to the lifestyle. Perhaps she is overwhelmed with it all, who knows, but you will drive yourself crazy just sitting around and wondering about it. So, do something, and if you get no response, think fondly of the time you shared, but move on. Hey...and you always have me! LOL!! Happy Turkey Day! I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!! (MY LIFE'S PHILOSOPHY)
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You vented, and fretted even tho you didn't want to. Stop your worrying and talk to her...directly, no texting, and no waiting for her to call you back. If she is avoiding you for some reason, just leave a message on her machine and let her know how you feel. You are wonderful at communicating, I am sure that you will say something in such a way that doesn't make her feel guilty or make her defensive. If it were me, I would want a such a call, but then I appreciate directness and honesty. To know that you care about her and the friendship regardless of the sex may be what she needs to hear. On the other hand, you mentioned she IS younger and fairly new to the lifestyle. Perhaps she is overwhelmed with it all, who knows, but you will drive yourself crazy just sitting around and wondering about it. So, do something, and if you get no response, think fondly of the time you shared, but move on. Hey...and you always have me! LOL!! Happy Turkey Day!
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