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First times
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First times Rand had another party last weekend - his biggest of the year. It was literally themed as a Roman orgy. All of his guests, to include Tricia and I, came dressed in togas. It was a large crowd, and most of the regulars were there. At 10:00, Rand read his rules, and then everyone got naked. Maggie and I didn't waste any time in playing together on a futon mattress in Rand's living room. "Living room" might not be the best description. Rand lives in a studio apartment. Only the bathroom and a storage closet are in separate rooms. Otherwise, everything is open. Even the bedroom is only separated by a wall. When you're having sex at his place, you're having it in front of everyone. Lexy and Daisy started playing next to us. They are both regulars at Rand's. Lexy dated Maggie for a year or so. They don't date anymore, but they still play together. After Maggie and I had fucked for a while, Lexy joined in with us. Lexy and I both started to rub Maggie's body and suck on her nipples. Maggie was in heaven, but she literally pushed Lexy and I together at one point, and slowly eased herself out from our threesome. Lexy is a pixie-like nerd chic girl with a rocking body. She usually wears multi-colored toe socks to Rand's parties, and nothing else. She is adorable. In most of my blog posts about these parties, I've talked about women I would like to have sex with, but never really found the enterprise to ask. Lexy is one of those women. In a way, it's the sort of thing I've been waiting for - for me to just find myself in a sexual situation with someone who obviously digs me, and Lexy did. Maggie had, in fact, hinted earlier that Lexy was very interested in fucking me. So, we fucked. And it was almost completely pleasureless for me. Lexy enjoyed it very much, and made some nice noises. I held on to the back of her neck, and fucked her hard on her back. I didn't cum, which is the norm for me. After a few minutes of that. I told her to turn around and I would do her from behind. But, at that point, I had lost my erection just enough that I couldn't put it in her. I stroked myself while I fingered her. Maggie mercifully entered the fray again, and distracted Lexy while I tried to get myself hard. It just wasn't happening for me, and, luckily, both Lexy and Maggie chose that moment to take a break. "You're fun," I told Lexy. I didn't feel a lot of enthusiasm for the statement, but it was the right thing to say. "You are too," she told me. "I always wanted to play with you but I couldn't talk to you." She said this last part as if it were a simple fact and needed no further explanation. "What?" I asked. "Why couldn't you talk to me?" "Because you're so hot," she said. She really had me flustered with that statement, and the whole scene was a bit weird - being in a room full of naked people, talking to a girl I just had uninspired sex with. Lexy is a little hottie who I doubt has seen 28 birthdays. And here she was, telling me I'm too sexy to approach. I felt stupid, and flattered, but mostly stupid. "I... don't... think of myself that way..." I started to mumble to her, but her attention had already been pulled away by something Maggie said. Lexy and I parted as friends that night, but we didn't really talk much after that. I began to think about how withdrawn and timid I am around the other people at Rand's parties. The other people seem fun and confident and interesting. My short talk with Lexy turned some of that inside out. That's how they see me. For as awkward and shy as I feel around them, it occurred to me that maybe they feel the same way. Of course I had considered this before, but it's hard to believe. I KNOW how shy I am. It's hard to believe OTHER people can be that way. It may not be entirely true of everyone at the party, but it made me look at them differently. It made me feel that maybe some of them needed me to talk to them; to show some interest, to give a compliment, to simply acknowledge them. These are the things I secretly want from them. I can't say that this little epiphany will change things much. The parties are still too overwhelming for me. I'll always get lost. But maybe I'll have a bit more confidence. Lexy was great for my self-esteem. I also know that I can play in a way I've been wanting to - to just kind of jump into sex with someone new without a lot of preamble. The result this time was... not great (and part of me must have KNOWN it would be that way, which may explain why I didn't try harder to do it). Still, I would like to have sex with Lexy again. Let's face it - first times are almost always bad. |
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So, it outsides the bounds of your relationship to have sex with her one on one? Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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It's hard to imagine you as being so shy when you are so completely open here. I am glad you made some progress and hope you keep this in mind in the future. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!! (MY LIFE'S PHILOSOPHY)
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So, it outsides the bounds of your relationship to have sex with her one on one?
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It's hard to imagine you as being so shy when you are so completely open here. I am glad you made some progress and hope you keep this in mind in the future.
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Then hook that shit up! Have fun!  Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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We are not anywhere in the same vernacular, but when next you are in ATL, let's meet up for a drink and chat. I have been reading you for a few years and it would be interesting to meet the person behind the worlds. If I have stopped by your blog, please be sure to sign my permission slip Pimp Me, Pimp My Blog, But Let Me Do The Same With You  
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We are not anywhere in the same vernacular, but when next you are in ATL, let's meet up for a drink and chat. I have been reading you for a few years and it would be interesting to meet the person behind the worlds.
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