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Give to your local Dood - He needs your support
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Give to your local Dood - He needs your support A bit off topic but - I get a bunch of emails from guys on the site asking me what they are doing wrong. I work here, so I must have some insight on how it all works. I'd like to be able to give good guys who aren't having luck a good answer. Do you think my "one guy to another" speech is truthful? A recent reply I gave: Women approach the site in a different way. They tend to hang out in the Groups and Blogs. They ease into things, get to know you. Most are not going to seek you out. If you're just sitting there waiting, you are wasting your time. What I would do is find a girl your interested in, go to their profile and see what groups they belong to, see if they have a Blog and read through it. Read her profile, find out where she hangs out on here and go talk to her. Talk to her about what she's said, not just her body. 95% of the doods on here never read a profile and just send grammatically incorrect emails about "sucking it". If you can show some interest in her other than cramming your cock down her throat, you've beaten out most every other guy on here. Find her Blogs, find her Groups, read her Profile. Be honest in your profile. Get your game on. It's work, but it's rewarding. There are a ton of guys on here that have figured it out and have a great time. Most of them are active posters in groups and blogs. That's where the women are. |
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I just finished commenting on some guy's post about this same topic. And my advice was identical to yours. It's excellent advice. The only thing I would add is... make your initial pic a face pic. We don't need to see a cock shot. We know you have one. And we certainly don't need to see it inserted into another woman to prove you know where it goes. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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All in all, for someone who's profile isn't here for a hook up of any sort, you did pretty good. You might also suggest that they themselves join one or more groups and also start their own blog. It is very important that they understand they get more response with a better filled out profile and a pic. Even a discreet pic is preferred over none. Too many profiles are full of PNTS and only a line or two. Yes, spelling does count. You are trying to attract someone and need to put forth your best efforts. I totally agree with looking beyond the profile to someone's activities in groups and blogs. That's simple enough, if the person they are after is a blogger or in an active group. What if they aren't? There are a lot of women that use the IMC, cams or chat rooms only. The first place is still the profile. Don't just read it, but try to understand what he/she is saying with her profile. Unfortunately, it doesn't help if they are incomplete or inaccurate, but that's all you really have to go on. The other problems I see, for the men that are after the women, primarily, is don't realize that if they are contacting a standard female, she may be getting too much mail per day and that she can only respond to 10 per day. If she gets 11 or more, she has to leave someone out. Not only that, no woman or man for that matter, is obligated to respond to anyone for whatever reason and many don't if they don't feel like it, regardless. Many a time a woman has responded with a polite "no thank you" or something to that affect and gotten hate mail in return. It's happened to me. Heck, I even had one guy slam me for answering period and preferred no response to a polite "no thank you". You just can't win no matter what you do so folks get to a point that they do as they please. The one thing that really ticks me off, is not really the "wanna fuck" e-mails because they are at least being honest. I am not in any way advocating such an e-mail, btw. But at least I know that they are simply after a quick hook up. The ones that piss me off are the ones claiming one thing, after reading my profile, they can see that's not what I'm looking for, they tailor an e-mail to elicit a response and they are still after something I don't want. This is why I say understand the profile and what the other is looking for. The best advice is to look at the person as a person and not simply as explicit body parts or what sexual abilities they may have. Read and understand the profile. Respond accordingly only if you really feel you are looking for the same things and express why you feel that way in a nice e-mail that shows a bit of respect. Don't get bent out of shape and retaliate if you don't like their answer or get no answer at all. Move along to another profile. I should add, women are not the only ones that do not respond to nice e-mails. Men are equally guilty, but few have the excuse of getting too many to respond to.
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I just finished commenting on some guy's post about this same topic. And my advice was identical to yours. It's excellent advice. The only thing I would add is... make your initial pic a face pic. We don't need to see a cock shot. We know you have one. And we certainly don't need to see it inserted into another woman to prove you know where it goes.  Amen!
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 Hey Ryan great points. FriendFinder-x Parody Of a Real Sex Site 
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How very true Ryan..and if you do not mind. I would like to post a link of posting of mine that backs up what you are saying here that I originally posted back in 2005 Finding what you are looking for, and possibly what you were not looking for from this site. Guys take it from an old dawg of this site...it all depends on your presentation to the women on this site when it comes to being successful in what you are looking for.
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Hello Ryan, I think it is very important to show lot of interest to the other person. They should participate in blogs,groups, or chatrooms. Of course corresponding that potential email helps too. Another thing you should recommend not giving out information right away and wait patiently for a response. If they get a response they should be greatful. Another thing do not call names to the prospective prospect that you are trying to meet like being fake for instance. I have wrote blogs myself on this subject because I seen so many posts from men not succeeding. It takes alot of work to put into it. Sometime you can be lucky other times not here. Yes you have brought up some good points. Please come check out my blog [blog roxy37sexy] invite you to check it out. you can also check out my profileroxy37sexy Please come and join my group captivating cams.Captivating Cams  Dare you com in my blog.
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All of the above comments are very legit!!! But until the site itself begins to work effectively what does it matter. Example~ recently I had been trading mail with a local woman!YEAH!sorry,,,Then the mail glitch hit.Her mail arrived blank.A phone call comfirmed that yes she did send info~and I didn't show up!certain details must be omitted,But you get the picture!!! FriendFinder-x Parody Of a Real Sex Site
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You gave good advice, but you might want to bold and bump up the font size on the words "Read." One of the MAJOR issues that I have are men not reading my profile, the blog is optional. They read the "join the site and get laid tonight" and then sometimes I think their eyes fall out or they are blinded by all the genitalia they see. Most of the good guys do find the blogs on their own.  Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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I keep a running list of blog posts that have great advice for guys to be more successful and some of the ones I've written about the topic. Show Some Class series and other informative posts Looks like I'll be adding to that list really soon. That was solid advice. I usually comment in those "why can't I meet anyone?" blog posts out there and keep it simple with my top 5. 1. make sure you filled out your profile completely and took it seriously. 2. make sure she's there for the same things you are. 3. make sure you're what she's looking for. 4. spell check and proof read your profile and any communications you send. Smart is sexy. 5. All the other rules of society apply - same as though you were standing right in front of her at the bar or a grocery store or whatever. That's my 2 cents for today. The only thing I HAVE to do is eat, shit, and die. Everything else is a choice.
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Ladies, there is some good advice in Ryan's post for you all as well. It's frustrating to a guy when you see an attractive woman on here you would like to talk to but she has a minimal profile that gives you nothing to talk about. If you write in groups and blogs then you're at least giving the guys a chance to say something else other than the typical "nice tits, wanna fuck?".
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Dear Ryan, You've given him good & necessary "basic advice" ... to my opinion there is a lot of learning by doing as well ... nevertheless "newcomers" very often need help {even females do} ... If you don't mind I got some advice written by IsThisBetter4u in 2006 ... his blog is only visible to friends, but it is for anyone still visible on mine {in German & English of course} Advice for A F F Ratgeber f ... Btw., Thanks for all the time you're spending on helping & "fixing" ... Benkai7... just a poor Rōnin marching by ...  Spanking Not Suited for Minors Nicht geeignet fr Minderjhrige Report Benkai7's Scandals Report Benkai7's Skandale Sucessfully Virrgin Again Erfolgreich Wieder Jungfrau The Great Wall of Vagina Die Groe Wand der Vagina Schadenfreude
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OKAY, as I send out lots of this info to guys that ask, and some that don't..lol, I have to say this... FIRST, the site itself does perpetuate some of this with the "log in get laid tonight" stuff, we tried to tell ya that. MANY of these men wonder why they can't just log in and pick out a woman as if it is a whorehouse warehouse as they 'thought' it was. IT DOES cause frustrations on both sides!! MOST DON'T EVER READ A PROFILE!! I wish you could make them, but even with not available being on my picture I still get emails asking to have sex and meet. I truly think most do not realize that the women here are NOT employees. SECOND, the age old thing of dick pick or no dick pic will be argued!! So many truly believe that if you show a dick women rush to them. I have even seen guys posting blogs showing proof that they get more views and such. YOU MAY!! But how many are gay men posing as women? How many meets did you really GET from it?? MOST women know what a dick looks like and even Quasimodo had one!! There is MORE to meeting for 'most' than just penis/vagina let's go. THIRD, even when reading profiles, I will back NASCAR that some will still try to get to you and believe they are going to convince you that you want them. I have had more than a few with the 'convo' and 'just chat' thing that in 3 or less emails it is clear they think they are going to get laid. FORTH, what one writes DOES matter!! There is a plethora of "suck my cock for me" and "wanna screw" messages, trust me, it is lame at best even if it is truthful. MY favorite blog to send out for help is [post 382854]. I send out about 12-15 links in total for helpful advice. One person set out to post blogs that are in their opinion the 'best' info. Many of the ones I send out are in this list...[post 1745514] And I myself have blogs on the messages (good, bad, and ugly) that are out there so that people see that they are NOT alone, they are NOT doing something wrong it is other people with the problem, etc... I have had many a thank you from women saying they thought it was their fault they got flamed for saying no or getting unsolicited hate emails. And many a man has thanked me for showing him why he is getting lost in the emails with the junk that is sent out along side his good message. IT IS NOT EASY!! NO ONE OWES ANYONE!! Rdy's Info Blogs is mine. I feel so bad for the men that truly DO want to have meets and are good when so much crap gets in the way. And it affects both sides.
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I am going to be a bit of a shit here.. but this is the kind of thing I don't like to see or get emails from. This man put this in his profile AFTER sending me an 'unsolicited hate email' telling me to get off the site because I wasn't putting out. Profile for MDigitalB I enjoy sex immensely and looking for a confident woman as the blessing to make it possible. I also enjoy conversation that stimulates intellectual thought and sexual desire. If you like to have lots of fun...I'm your man. UPDATE...Tired of members that don't belong here and think they are better than the rest of us looking for a good time...wish these buzz kills would leave the site so their noise is off the radar...for the rest of us looking for fun...party on!!! BECAUSE WE ARE NOT PUTTING OUT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO LEAVE THE SITE!! And even if I was available, I wouldn't TOUCH a man that had this crap in his profile!!! No one OWES you a f*ck!! As has been stated before, with multiple sites logging in here these jackasses come in here and totally ruin it for others by sending out hate emails to people to leave based on our profile says we would not have sex with them. I am not a pre-paid whore and as I said, if a guy wants to get somewhere, do NOT act like we are here to service you!!! Ryan, sorry for this, but it was a good example and I just got it today.
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Sorry, after thought here. NO ONE is stopping anyone from having fun JUST because they are here on the site NOT having sex. lol Because I am not available will NOT stop anyone from meeting someone ELSE...lol
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6/7/2009 12:23 am |
This must be the best advice ever given to any male on FriendFinder-x. Hope they learn from this!
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Great advice. I agree with the responses for the most part. I've gotten slammed for a "no thank you" response. At least i was polite enuf to respond. Apparently that isn't always sufficient & feelings get hurt. If i say no thx, many times i get the "well, why are you on here then??" email. On the flip side, i do get emails that say thank you for responding at all & wish me well. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Heh, life's a crap shoot either way & FriendFinder-x is not excluded from said crap shoot. Anyway, i don't typically respond to blogs written by individuals i don't know, but felt yours deserved a pat on the back-take care-
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OK I been looking for a blog like this until I was directed to it by another blogger. So reading the profile seems to be step 1 but how do you read them if your a standard member and don't want to upgrade? I heard rumors if your popular enough you can start seeing profiles.
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OK I been looking for a blog like this until I was directed to it by another blogger. So reading the profile seems to be step 1 but how do you read them if your a standard member and don't want to upgrade? I heard rumors if your popular enough you can start seeing profiles. Btw, the blogs are a great way to learn about a member, if they have one. Aside from my writing, I keep a copy of my profile there.
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I absolutely agree 100% about what Ryan has said. The ladies are on the blogs and in the groups. For me, nothing is a bigger turn on than a guy who writes stuff that makes me literally spit my coffee on my monitor because I'm laughing so hard. If he happens to be cute -even better. This is the way I met my partner here. And, almost exclusively, any man I've been involved with from this site had something to *say*.. a personality, and he was a fun and approachable person. I have often struck up a conversation or met up with a man who IMO perhaps wasn't necessarily an ideal physical match for what I was looking for- but fun, positive and honest wins over looks any day. And yes... I have to say that when a guy's main pic is of a random cock- it is a *huge* turnoff for me. And who knows if it's even his!? It's not like I'm gonna wanna pick it out of a line up or anything. Anyone can post a dick pic, but it takes balls to post one of your face. A
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It appears I may spend too much time in the chat room and not enough time with groups and blogs. Overall, "Meet and Greets" have been a disappointment. Many my age just don't attend, and I often feel out of place. You see all these great (at least great looking) girls on the homepage, but never in the chat room or "Meet and Greets." I try and at least tell people in the chat to act like they're not in an adult chat room. Many can't realize that if it won't work in real life, then it probably won't work online, either. I see several dozen "cock on cam" messages a day in the chat room. I act like I have some sense and some substance to me. However, I feel I'm still not very successful due to the reasons I mentioned. It doesn't help that I'm a standard member. From what I'm seeing, involving myself with groups and blogs would help? Any recommendations on getting my feet wet? Thanks in advance.
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It appears I may spend too much time in the chat room and not enough time with groups and blogs. Overall, "Meet and Greets" have been a disappointment. Many my age just don't attend, and I often feel out of place. You see all these great (at least great looking) girls on the homepage, but never in the chat room or "Meet and Greets." I try and at least tell people in the chat to act like they're not in an adult chat room. Many can't realize that if it won't work in real life, then it probably won't work online, either. I see several dozen "cock on cam" messages a day in the chat room. I act like I have some sense and some substance to me. However, I feel I'm still not very successful due to the reasons I mentioned. It doesn't help that I'm a standard member. From what I'm seeing, involving myself with groups and blogs would help? Any recommendations on getting my feet wet? Thanks in advance. I do recommend the groups and blogs because you will find something to suit or needs or you can create your own. There is far more substance to the groups and blogs than the chat rooms. I like the chat rooms simply for the immediate interaction and have fun. Do a search of the groups for what you are looking for and check them out. As for the blogs, you can search by location if that is what you are after. You will find out more about the people and pick and choose what you enjoy. There can still be drama, but you can just as easily avoid it to your liking.
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8/6/2009 12:34 pm |
I agree, 100%. I actually have men get angery at me for not replying to there e-mails. Often times they never send a photo and I'll I see is there genitals. Truth is I get so many e-mails a day I am selective about who I reply to. If you say something that is totally contradictory to my profile I know you have not read it, so why should I waste my time returning your e-mail. If you don't have the commonsense to send any photo at all, why would I write back? I have to many guys writing that do send pictures and have read my profile, so you kinda get beat out from the jump.
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1 post 8/13/2009 5:26 pm |
Thanks Ryan, it really worked.. One more thing to add as well, is that its all about considering and recognizing each lady as an individual with unique ineterests and not just all "gurls"
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9/9/2009 3:55 pm |
Yes, the protracted "investment" process is all that will work when you have ratios of 200:1 on sites like these.
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Have some kind of photo's. Do not use prefer not to say. Read the profiles which helps to keep from asking stupid questions.Be truthful of your profile. Don't lead people on if your not into meeting anyone. It's ok to be on here and just look, but don't stand others up or say mean things about them. Stay positive.
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