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| Blogs > tazzerman2000 > Cosmic Debris Part Three! |
Why do Bisexual guys turn some of you gals off?
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Why do Bisexual guys turn some of you gals off?  Ol Tazzerman runs into this all the time. I find a gal who's profile I really like. It seems like we have a LOT in common. I just know we'd have fun together for sure. I send out an email. We trade a few more and THEN the big: Sorry, I'm just not into Bisexual men. End of story, over.. Now I do appreciate the fact that we ALL are more then entitled to our own likes/dislikes but beyond that, I just don't get it. Gals, help me here. Why does the fact that I'm Bisexual turn you off? One very nice girl replied back that she just couldn't be with a guy who likes sucking cocks. Well sheesh.. Do YOU like sucking cocks? If so, why do YOU get to have all the fun? LOL Keep in mind that when Ol Tazzerman says he's Bisexual, I mean it. I totally enjoy having sex with either men or women. Do I have a preference? Yes. Women by far. Am I gay? Well not in my own mind but some argue that point and I'm not here to talk about that today. What REALLY makes this whole question interesting is that there are so many women out here who are in fact VERY turned ON by the fact that I'm Bisexual and they truly enjoy joining me and my friends in the PlayPen®. Now personally, I LOVE female Bisexuals. The fact that a woman loves to go down on another woman not only doesn't bother me but it turns me on big time.. Gals, even though I'm Bisexual I am perfectly capable of making love to a woman without letting my own bisexuality enter into things. Ol Tazzerman's profile is up-front and honest. I SAY I'm bisexual and I know it's 'cost' me a lot of views, emails and even some blog comments. I'm NOT changing it, I'm not going to hide the fact that I AM bisexual. I am what and who I am. I'm just curious. What IS IT about me being bisexual that turns some of you gals off? Spill the beans please  -tm |
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For me, sex is all about fun. I am very bisexual and love it. I have been in one MMF and it ended miserably because the guys were too shy to try anything new. 3 hours and I never did cum. Blah. But I do have a friend in another state that has promised to more than make up for that  My ultimate fantasy is an orgy where anything goes, as long as there's no actual pain involved and no messes Bisexual guys? More fun than straight ones Bring em on!  "Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it." — Candace Bushnell  ~~Ashley92577~~
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First off, I agree totally! Besides that, there are a NUMBER of women here on FriendFinder-x and elsewhere who are, for MANY reasons, in fact turned off by us bisexual guys. The mere THOUGHT of me sucking some guys dick in there presence makes them angry for some reason. That being said, I'm SO glad and I do appreciate women like yourself who see though all the crap and embrace sexuality in all forms. Good on ya -tm
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As always, you bring up lots of good points for discussion. As I tell people, 'manliness' has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether your into sucking a cock.. I believe totally that What it means to be a man says it all STDs are always an issue when a person is active. It makes NO difference if your gay/bi or straight. You just have to be smart and honest with yourself and make sure to always be on your guard. I've heard the competition thing from other women BTW. My friend Monica, who I DEARLY love, exhibits some of it along with a lot of 'other' issues about me being bisexual. She struggles with it a LOT and for now at least, it's usually best if I park my own bisexuality somewhere else whenever she's around... Although, she has tried and I give her credit for that. She shared her own hubby with me one night, we had a great time but she's STILL very male, bisexual averse. Keep in mind, she has NO problem slurping pussy with the best of em. It's just the thought of, let alone actually seeing a guy sucking on another guys dick that turns her off almost completely.
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I first ran into this double standard, in my former life as a swinger, and to say it MAKES ME ANGRY, is putting it mildly. I love bi men, in fact there are not enough in the sparsely populated area where I live. Sharing a cock with your guy is extremely hot, especially if everything is reciprocated, by all parties. I just don't get why people can't understand that sexual pleasure can be experienced in an un-ending number of combinations. Now, explain to me the pressure that guys put on gals, to get with each other? Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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Oh, I hear you that not every gay person is judgmental of bisexuality. I once dated a wonderful lesbian who only dated bisexual women because she felt they were more openminded and intellectual (*tooting my own horn*). As for questioning your Manhood, yes, I do think that's an issue, but it's more of a product, I believe, of perceptions of gender roles and our place in the dynamic. For example, I have an exclusive preference for black men who tend to, in general (I realize there are exceptions), be into a lot of hyper-masculine behaviors. I know that some aspect of that rings a bell in my brain that I associate with being sexually stimulating. I tend to believe it's a perception on my part of competency and healthy aggression that will result in a high quality sexual experience. Why? Because I am a strong woman, so I feel my needs are best met by a very strong, "manly man". My equal, as it were. So, when it comes to bisexual men, I am more aware of the gender role dynamic because it's so common for a bisexual man to be somewhat gender neutral in some of his behaviors or outlooks (but, I will note, not less of a man). The thing is, for me, if a man submits to me (e.g. sweetly asks me to fuck him in the ass) then he's done for. I lose interest in him in some fashion because he has switched up the gender dynamic on me. However, if he were to growl it and own it and treat me like a tool that's satisfying his needs in a very masculine way...it'd be fine. It's not the ACT that makes a bisexual man less desirable to me, but the idea that I would have to adjust my role in order to meet his needs, because then my needs aren't being met. I realize that this leads us down a long and winding road about gender identity potentially (I can already see VioletD sharpening her pencil), but what it means to me, personally, is that I will gladly support my bisexual brothers, but, in the end, I like what I like. There have been a few, wonderfully masculine bisexual men that I've met and had great sex with, so I can't say never. But I, personally, need to have that clear delineation in gender role to be into someone sexually. In the end, it's all about how I click with someone, and if we can meet each other's needs. "Sex is emotion in motion." ~ Mae West
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Oh, I hear you that not every gay person is judgmental of bisexuality. I once dated a wonderful lesbian who only dated bisexual women because she felt they were more openminded and intellectual (*tooting my own horn*). As for questioning your Manhood, yes, I do think that's an issue, but it's more of a product, I believe, of perceptions of gender roles and our place in the dynamic. For example, I have an exclusive preference for black men who tend to, in general (I realize there are exceptions), be into a lot of hyper-masculine behaviors. I know that some aspect of that rings a bell in my brain that I associate with being sexually stimulating. I tend to believe it's a perception on my part of competency and healthy aggression that will result in a high quality sexual experience. Why? Because I am a strong woman, so I feel my needs are best met by a very strong, "manly man". My equal, as it were. So, when it comes to bisexual men, I am more aware of the gender role dynamic because it's so common for a bisexual man to be somewhat gender neutral in some of his behaviors or outlooks (but, I will note, less than a man). The thing is, for me, if a man submits to me (e.g. sweetly asks me to fuck him in the ass) then he's done for. I lose interest in him in some fashion because he has switched up the gender dynamic on me. However, if he were to growl it and own it and treat me like a tool that's satisfying his needs in a very masculine way...it'd be fine. It's not the ACT that makes a bisexual man less desirable to me, but the idea that I would have to adjust my role in order to meet his needs, because then my needs aren't being met. I realize that this leads us down a long and winding road about gender identity potentially (I can already see VioletD sharpening her pencil), but what it means to me, personally, is that I will gladly support my bisexual brothers, but, in the end, I like what I like. There have been a few, wonderfully masculine bisexual men that I've met and had great sex with, so I can't say never. But I, personally, need to have that clear delineation in gender role to be into someone sexually. In the end, it's all about how I click with someone, and if we can meet each other's needs. "Sex is emotion in motion." ~ Mae West
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This is a great topic. Thank you for bringing it up. I, too, am bisexual, but female, and have seen the "I don't do bi guys" versus the "bi women are so hot" hypocrisy often when involved in swinging. From my view, the "mainstream" swing scene just highlights a variety of basic issues we have reconciling our idealized views of sexuality (what our personal fantasies are) and the reality of sexuality (what is deemed acceptable in whatever social context we're in). What I have also found to be interesting, and very frustrating, is that there's also a lack of acceptance for bisexuals (male or female) within the gay community. While I think that is another topic of conversation, on it's own, I think it helps to illustrate what I would call a more sociological reasoning for this sort of differentiation and/or discrimination, and that is the phenomenon of "Self vs Other". People like to identify commonalities or differences in order to figure out if someone is like them and/or if they are part of their tribe or not. Bisexuality presents a challenge for many people in that it is a "gray area" and offers up a range of options that, at first glance, presents possible instability in a potential mate. While I fully disagree with that reasoning (I'm very stable, thank you very much), and can argue the logic of it into the ground, I can't argue with the reality of it in dealing with other people and their feelings. People want to relate to and understand who they're dealing with, and being bisexual can be too much in terms of feeling like there's enough of a common goal for some. As far as HIV/AIDS being a factor in consideration of a bisexual partner, I think that it may be or have been a reality for many folks living in large cities like NYC, and, therefore, is/was a somewhat reasonable concern, but has become an acceptable form of bigotry now that HIV/AIDS is clearly an issue in a variety of populations (e.g. the black community is the #2 growth area for HIV). It's become a justification rather than being the actual deciding factor. I agree with the response being one of "Oh well, their loss," but can fully understand why that's just not as satisfying. It leaves a lot of depth unexplored and denies bisexual men opportunities just because of owning up to who they are. As for my preferences (since I haven't answered that question), I tend to date heterosexual men, but it isn't because I wouldn't date a bisexual man. I just have to click well with him as a partner, but that, in itself, is a complex process because I have my individual preferences, biases and needs, just like the next person. In the end, it's if you're comfortable with yourself, then the right one(s) come along. Just don't take it personally...even if some folks mean it that way. "Sex is emotion in motion." ~ Mae West
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OMG, Ged ... you totally over-lawyered her response!!! I totally missed this the first time I read this post. I hope Lady and others understand that this is the fucked-up, boot-camped, brain-washing that lawyers get ... living with one will make a person crazy because they take everything stone-cold literally and dissect every remark into its component parts. Don't be too hard on Ged, lol ... he can't help it! In fact, this has been my passion for 20 years or more. It is the very reason we cannot engage in civil discourse anymore and that was my point. "Don't be disrespecting me..." has become the motto of the US over the last 30-40 years. We simply can't talk to each other anymore because the moment you tell someone "I disagree" they ONLY hear it as "I hate you, your stupid". And that is exactly what happened here. I specifically said to lady that I disagreed with her premise, and it was taken as a personal affront. Luckily she knew me well enough not to lash back or think there was anything deeper, but it troubles me that she had even a moment of thinking that I was insulting her, rather making a comment about her idea.
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Hi Lady. Here's a larger point. This is exactly why we can't have conversations anymore in the US. I'm glad you didn't overreact but I never called YOU those things. I called the "idea" silly. For some reason, we have lost the ability to say I disagree, b/c it is always interpreted as "I dislike". You might note, if you decide to read my blog someday, that I did a post on just this topic. Calling your idea silly, or bigoted, is NOT calling you that. And calling an idea silly is not condescending. How so? In point of fact what you said was that "it is a little bit of two things" That statement, in formal english, means that it is part of ONLY those two things. What I mean by that is the way attorneys read. For example, when I say never, it means without exception. If I say most, it means at least 50% + 1. I spend most of my day teaching people these definitions, so they are ingrained in me. That is the way I read it, and why I responded the way I did. Not only didn't I call YOU those things, but SPECIFICALLY avoided it b/c I know you are NOT that way. But if someone can't point out to someone else that a statement is non inclusive, without them taking it as an insult, how do we ever expand our ideas, and isn't that EXACTLY the issue that we're discussing here? Finally, if you are now changing what you said to say that those are not the ONLY two things, I would still press you and say that I don't think that at least one of those things, homophobia, is infrequently the reason. Insecurity? Sure, that is present in almost everything most humans do. I hope Lady and others understand that this is the fucked-up, boot-camped, brain-washing that lawyers get ... living with one will make a person crazy because they take everything stone-cold literally and dissect every remark into its component parts. Don't be too hard on Ged, lol ... he can't help it!
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Bisexual men are a curiosity to me and I find them fascinating. You know I adore you TM
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naughtynicesub naughtynicesub has an interesting post that puts a different kind of a twist on the whole question that's very much worth reading [post 2613113] Enjoy -tm
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Actually, it did feel like you were insulting me. LOL I am not going to take it personally but in one comment you said my theories were silly and another you said you'd avoid calling me bigoted (which implies that you actually think so). That is condescending in my book. If you go back to my original comment I said I think there's "a bit" of these two things going on. I never said those were the only factors to explain the phenomenon Tazz describes. I think your perspective is equally valid too. We are coming at it from two different angles and that is fine. I was talking about what I see in the swinger world, and I am guessing that is more of what Tazz encounters too. You can disagree with someone without calling them silly or bigoted. Here's a larger point. This is exactly why we can't have conversations anymore in the US. I'm glad you didn't overreact but I never called YOU those things. I called the "idea" silly. For some reason, we have lost the ability to say I disagree, b/c it is always interpreted as "I dislike". You might note, if you decide to read my blog someday, that I did a post on just this topic. Calling your idea silly, or bigoted, is NOT calling you that. And calling an idea silly is not condescending. How so? In point of fact what you said was that "it is a little bit of two things" That statement, in formal english, means that it is part of ONLY those two things. What I mean by that is the way attorneys read. For example, when I say never, it means without exception. If I say most, it means at least 50% + 1. I spend most of my day teaching people these definitions, so they are ingrained in me. That is the way I read it, and why I responded the way I did. Not only didn't I call YOU those things, but SPECIFICALLY avoided it b/c I know you are NOT that way. But if someone can't point out to someone else that a statement is non inclusive, without them taking it as an insult, how do we ever expand our ideas, and isn't that EXACTLY the issue that we're discussing here? Finally, if you are now changing what you said to say that those are not the ONLY two things, I would still press you and say that I don't think that at least one of those things, homophobia, is infrequently the reason. Insecurity? Sure, that is present in almost everything most humans do.
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I hate to break it to women who think that most men are straight, but it doesn't appear so to me. A lot of men that hit on me -- a TV -- are married and hiding their bisexuality, maybe even to themselves. People need to get over the homophobia. Sexuality has nothing to do with whether or not someone can be faithful or not. I'll bet a male's bisexual unfaithfulness is often the result of repression out of fear that results in latent homosexuality (as I suggested above.) If it was more acceptable, I'll bet fewer of your husbands would want it. They might have already experimented with it and decided they prefer a stable relationship with a woman. As Mr. Tazzerman says, he is bi but prefers women. I am the same way, and I have no interest in swinging or cheating on someone I love. So good luck with that! ***
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I am very relaxed. As I said in my response to you, this is one of the prolbems we have nowadays. Lady knows I was not insulting her. I was making statements. But we are now a society where everyone is so ready to say "don't be disrespecting me" that we've lost the ability to distinguish between a conversation, a disagreement, and an actual argument. We haven't exchanged ideas before. Just so you know, I am a very literal person. I speak without judgments, meaning that if I feel something, I will say I feel a certain way. If I use a word that does not indicate opinion, even if the general usage in society DOES give it a moral view, than I am using that word according to the dictionary definition. As you can tell, I'm not very "political" i.e. I don't know, or have the inclination, to soft pedal stuff. Just too busy. I do appreciate your response. If you go back to my original comment I said I think there's "a bit" of these two things going on. I never said those were the only factors to explain the phenomenon Tazz describes. I think your perspective is equally valid too. We are coming at it from two different angles and that is fine. I was talking about what I see in the swinger world, and I am guessing that is more of what Tazz encounters too. You can disagree with someone without calling them silly or bigoted. ***
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Dude, relax. I wasn't criticizing your opinion. My point to you was not that you disagreed with LU's statement, but that you were judgmental and condescending about it. You seem to expect that your opinion and comments will be accepted and your right to express them respected. I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly. But the courtesy should be extended both ways, IMHO. We haven't exchanged ideas before. Just so you know, I am a very literal person. I speak without judgments, meaning that if I feel something, I will say I feel a certain way. If I use a word that does not indicate opinion, even if the general usage in society DOES give it a moral view, than I am using that word according to the dictionary definition. As you can tell, I'm not very "political" i.e. I don't know, or have the inclination, to soft pedal stuff. Just too busy. I do appreciate your response.
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Actually mine was NOT an opinion so whether you deem it silly or stereotypical you'd be wrong. During the 1980's here in NY there were a huge number of men who identified as gay in the NY party scene b/c it implied a certain lifestyle and fashion. Once AIDS intruded, that began to end. As you quoted me, "part of it was..." clearly indicating PAST tense and a fact, not an opinion. Calling a statement that there are ONLY 2 reasons for anything silly is actually a nice way, b/c I like LU of not saying what it really is. Saying there "only" 2, 3, 10, 1000, reasons for anything automatically makes it very difficult to prove since the existence of one additional reason makes that persons statement a lie. In point of fact there were untold numbers of women here in NY who would not be with bimen for EXACTLY the reason I stated which exempts them from ladies 2 categories, insecurity, and homophobia. Stating things honestly, does not make them untrue. Taz, and anyone else who knows me knows I have not a bigoted bone in my body. I call them like I see them. All of the reasons you cite may or may not be true for any one woman. All the more reason that Lady's only 2 categories is steretyping. I never said my reasons were the ONLY reasons or even a majority reason. I simply stated it as A reason. FG "I used to be a tool. Now, thanks to FriendFinder-x, I'm the whole shed!!!" The Frozengoat Primer, or the Cliff Notes version of frozengoat : Why do I blog This is why I'm here, plain and simple. The end is nigh The beginning of my chronicling the end of this phase of my life. The joys of cunnilingus If you want to know what I enjoy the most sexually, this is it! Charting the course A part of my journey of self-discovery.   Spring Carnival HJT Style-tagline courtesy of buxombbw4u thanks Buxie!!
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I hate to break it to women who think that most men are straight, but it doesn't appear so to me. A lot of men that hit on me -- a TV -- are married and hiding their bisexuality, maybe even to themselves. People need to get over the homophobia. Sexuality has nothing to do with whether or not someone can be faithful or not. I'll bet a male's bisexual unfaithfulness is often the result of repression out of fear that results in latent homosexuality (as I suggested above.) If it was more acceptable, I'll bet fewer of your husbands would want it. They might have already experimented with it and decided they prefer a stable relationship with a woman. As Mr. Tazzerman says, he is bi but prefers women. I am the same way, and I have no interest in swinging or cheating on someone I love. So good luck with that!
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"Part of it was the fact that so many bi men really ARE gay, but are keeping that hetero part of them for appearances only and are living a subculture gay lifestyle." And that's not a stereotypical statement? You are entitled to your opinion, sir, but calling someone else's opinion "silly" is a little condescending IMHO. Personally, I think the sexual spectrum is anchored by fully heterosexual on one end and fully homosexual on the other end. Most of us fall somewhere in between, depending on what we like to do. I am bisexual when it comes to sex. I like to have sex with men, but I have no desire to have a relationship with one. Some of the experts that I've read or talked with state that true bisexuality is the ability or desire to have an emotional relationship with both sexes. If that is the official definition, then by that standard most of the men that call themselves bisexual really aren't. Maybe that is one of the reasons why women don't like bisexual men, because they see them as a "rival" for the affections of potential relationship partners. I've know a few married men in the lifestyle that are uncomfortable with their wives being bisexual and playing on their own because of the same reason. As always, everyone's preference, motivation, and opinion are their own, and they are as unique as their owners. I think that helps to make sex more exciting, to experience all of these differences and the myriad combinations they create. You never know that the straight, missionary positional guy might secretly like to lick chocolate syrup off of women's feet or want to feel a pair of strong rough hands jacking them off. So, Tazz, I say don't worry about women that have issues with bisexual men, it's their loss. There are plenty of women that do like us just the way we are. As you quoted me, "part of it was..." clearly indicating PAST tense and a fact, not an opinion. Calling a statement that there are ONLY 2 reasons for anything silly is actually a nice way, b/c I like LU of not saying what it really is. Saying there "only" 2, 3, 10, 1000, reasons for anything automatically makes it very difficult to prove since the existence of one additional reason makes that persons statement a lie. In point of fact there were untold numbers of women here in NY who would not be with bimen for EXACTLY the reason I stated which exempts them from ladies 2 categories, insecurity, and homophobia. Stating things honestly, does not make them untrue. Taz, and anyone else who knows me knows I have not a bigoted bone in my body. I call them like I see them. All of the reasons you cite may or may not be true for any one woman. All the more reason that Lady's only 2 categories is steretyping. I never said my reasons were the ONLY reasons or even a majority reason. I simply stated it as A reason.
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4/22/2011 12:09 pm |
Hey Tazz, I'm just starting to explore my bi-curious side. It all started with me doing a lot of camming. It seemed that there were more guys interested in watching and playing then women. Since it has peeked my curiousity and I've had some minor encounters. I see nothing wrong with it and I really found out I enjoy it. Just wanted to add my two cents worth to the topic. By the way I will be in Carmel on a daily basis starting Monday, as I start a new job in your town. Maybe we could get together for a drink and food sometime. Jamie
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4/22/2011 8:08 am |
I usually avoid topics like this...reason being ...society has become stereotypically biased. It's unfortunate that stereotypes keep people from satisfying their emotional and physical desires.....a fairly common prejudice. You said, "Am I gay? Well not in my own mind but some argue that point"...I won't argue that point.... I don't think you're gay and I don't honestly believe you are bi-sexual...reason being is because to me being bi-sexual means you enjoy both sexes equally without a perference for women. If one needed to put a label on you I would define you as "bi-friendly"...you enjoy encounters with bi-sexual men but prefer being with a women. Pleasures and desires know no gender in my book. Your sexuality doesn't turn me off...in fact just the opposite because I believe that pleasures of the flesh are exactly that...a pleasure. I watch man on man porn all the time and trust me when I say my pussy is just as wet from watching it as it is from straight porn. Share my journey...I write when my soul cries.
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Here's an interesting take, that frankly, I'm surprised no one has mentioned. It may be a NY thing, I don't know, and it may be due to my age, and "coming of age" so to speak, in the '80's. Honestly, I won't even be with a woman who has been with a bisexual man. Do I know this about all the women I've been with? No. But here's why. In NY, the % of HIV in the Bi and Gay community was so high, there was just no way to avoid it during my heavy dating games, and it was just not worth the risk. It's just that simple. Again, this may be a NY thing, I don't know. I worked in the gay community and there is no other way to describe it for those 10 years or so as anything but a plague. Infection rates were well over 50% for a time. Part of it was the fact that so many bi men really ARE gay, but are keeping that hetero part of them for appearances only and are living a subculture gay lifestyle. I can't tell you how many women I know who were dating gay men. Hell, a woman I lived with, she and her fiancee went to couples therapy b/c the sex was so bad, and she was told by the therapist "you know he doesn't like women, don't you?". That was typical in the "bi" community here in NY. YOu are HIGHLY unusual Taz in that you are TRULY bisexual. There are not very many like you. In fact, if you speak to women here who claim to be looking for other women, what you will find is that they suffer as much failure as the single guys looking for women, b/c most of the women who identify themselves as bi or bi curious, really are not. So, I can't speak for the women. I will say to LU, that her comments are silly, and just as stereotyped as those she would condemn. If SHE is allowed her preferences than a woman who doesn't want to be with a bi man is by NO definition homophobic. Everyone has their sexuality. As I often say, there are as many sexualities as there are people. So I would never judge what turns someone else on. However, expressing MY preferences does not categorize me (or anyone else) in any stereotype the same way anyone else expressing theirs does. Personally, I think the sexual spectrum is anchored by fully heterosexual on one end and fully homosexual on the other end. Most of us fall somewhere in between, depending on what we like to do. I am bisexual when it comes to sex. I like to have sex with men, but I have no desire to have a relationship with one. Some of the experts that I've read or talked with state that true bisexuality is the ability or desire to have an emotional relationship with both sexes. If that is the official definition, then by that standard most of the men that call themselves bisexual really aren't. Maybe that is one of the reasons why women don't like bisexual men, because they see them as a "rival" for the affections of potential relationship partners. I've know a few married men in the lifestyle that are uncomfortable with their wives being bisexual and playing on their own because of the same reason. As always, everyone's preference, motivation, and opinion are their own, and they are as unique as their owners. I think that helps to make sex more exciting, to experience all of these differences and the myriad combinations they create. You never know that the straight, missionary positional guy might secretly like to lick chocolate syrup off of women's feet or want to feel a pair of strong rough hands jacking them off. So, Tazz, I say don't worry about women that have issues with bisexual men, it's their loss. There are plenty of women that do like us just the way we are. FG "I used to be a tool. Now, thanks to FriendFinder-x, I'm the whole shed!!!" The Frozengoat Primer, or the Cliff Notes version of frozengoat : Why do I blog This is why I'm here, plain and simple. The end is nigh The beginning of my chronicling the end of this phase of my life. The joys of cunnilingus If you want to know what I enjoy the most sexually, this is it! Charting the course A part of my journey of self-discovery. Spring Carnival HJT Style-tagline courtesy of buxombbw4u thanks Buxie!!
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4/22/2011 7:36 am |
Yes, I have had some similar experiences with women. I had my first experience sucking cock at age 13. I know it sounds like the old story of a friend sleeping over and then...but, it felt natural. I think religion and society also how you were raised ie parents and siblings point of veiws. Just like some women who don't masterbate because they were told it's dirty by their parents. My point is the combination is as varied as a Rubic's cube. I have some women all for it or ar at least accepting. I see a lot of bi couples. I love women first and foremost but, I have always been a little adventurous and open minded. I have also and still am a person with a strong mind ie. not easily swayed by others opinions of what I can, can't, should or shouldn't do. It's more about the person then the package. I have my preferences but, after time it's whats between a persons ears if I like them or not and then whats between their legs second. I could go on and on about this subject but, trying to stay focused and say it will always be about peoples perceptions. If I'm on the same page with others great and piss on the others with close minded hate.
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Hey Tazzer... I'm absolutely fine with it... In fact it's a requirement for my desired MMF! Hugs EE407
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Hi Ged - I certainly don't think my opinion is silly and I said I think "it's a bit" of these 2 things. I didn't say those were the only two factors. I ended up writing a blog about it myself. I think you're right that the AIDS epidemic informed some of these opinions but I grew up in the midwest after the peak of the 80's AIDS crisis and have had much different experiences. Most of the bi men I've encountered are married and sort of discovering this side of them in their late 30's or early 40's and wanting to experiment with other men in the same situation. From my vantage it's very much the same as the women who enter the lifestyle "bi-curious" and then experiment with other ladies who are parts of couples. These bi men are not any more gay than the women are lesbians. I guess I'm mostly coming from the swinger lifestyle and what I see in the couples we know who are mostly our age and grew up in more rural areas. But do you see my point? You did in fact say that it was one of these two things, and that is just as biased (I'll refrain from saying bigoted) as a homophobe b/c you are lumping ALL people who feel that way into a group. BTW, the peak of the crisis here in NY lasted more than 10 years and wiped out uncountable numbers of friends and acquaintances. I lost my first classmate in 1984.
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Here's an interesting take, that frankly, I'm surprised no one has mentioned. It may be a NY thing, I don't know, and it may be due to my age, and "coming of age" so to speak, in the '80's. Honestly, I won't even be with a woman who has been with a bisexual man. Do I know this about all the women I've been with? No. But here's why. In NY, the % of HIV in the Bi and Gay community was so high, there was just no way to avoid it during my heavy dating games, and it was just not worth the risk. It's just that simple. Again, this may be a NY thing, I don't know. I worked in the gay community and there is no other way to describe it for those 10 years or so as anything but a plague. Infection rates were well over 50% for a time. Part of it was the fact that so many bi men really ARE gay, but are keeping that hetero part of them for appearances only and are living a subculture gay lifestyle. I can't tell you how many women I know who were dating gay men. Hell, a woman I lived with, she and her fiancee went to couples therapy b/c the sex was so bad, and she was told by the therapist "you know he doesn't like women, don't you?". That was typical in the "bi" community here in NY. YOu are HIGHLY unusual Taz in that you are TRULY bisexual. There are not very many like you. In fact, if you speak to women here who claim to be looking for other women, what you will find is that they suffer as much failure as the single guys looking for women, b/c most of the women who identify themselves as bi or bi curious, really are not. So, I can't speak for the women. I will say to LU, that her comments are silly, and just as stereotyped as those she would condemn. If SHE is allowed her preferences than a woman who doesn't want to be with a bi man is by NO definition homophobic. Everyone has their sexuality. As I often say, there are as many sexualities as there are people. So I would never judge what turns someone else on. However, expressing MY preferences does not categorize me (or anyone else) in any stereotype the same way anyone else expressing theirs does. I certainly don't think my opinion is silly and I said I think "it's a bit" of these 2 things. I didn't say those were the only two factors. I ended up writing a blog about it myself. I think you're right that the AIDS epidemic informed some of these opinions but I grew up in the midwest after the peak of the 80's AIDS crisis and have had much different experiences. Most of the bi men I've encountered are married and sort of discovering this side of them in their late 30's or early 40's and wanting to experiment with other men in the same situation. From my vantage it's very much the same as the women who enter the lifestyle "bi-curious" and then experiment with other ladies who are parts of couples. These bi men are not any more gay than the women are lesbians. I guess I'm mostly coming from the swinger lifestyle and what I see in the couples we know who are mostly our age and grew up in more rural areas. ***
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