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| Blogs > ICDeadPeople2 > Ghost Writer in Disguise |
My Week in Review
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My Week in Review The "Spring Mowing and Gardening Extravaganza" I go through every year has really kicked my ass this year. Not only that but it is leaving one hell of a dent in my wallet... This week has been a total, TOTAL... Complete... well it has been bad. It started when I decided it was time to un-mothball the riding mower and get it ready to mow the freaking weeds down in my yard so the grass would have a fighting chance to grow. I rolled it out of the storage unit cleaned it up a bit. Then I filled the tank with 4 dollar a gallon premium gasoline and (2 1/2 gallon tank..... the battery was dead. I pulled my car around and hooked up the jumper cables and jumped back into the seat and hit the key. Well I almost hit the key when I noticed there was a puddle of gas growing quite large on and under and basically all around my mower. The gas line had rotted over the winter and all that precious gas was just flowing out. I saw gasoline... I saw jumper cables and thought to myself... Self!!! That is a bad combination. Since I am an intelligent redneck I immediately pulled the jumper cables off and ....... one spark and I am sitting in the middle of a blazing inferno with my crotch area ( cock and balls ) becoming quite warm. I got my car out of harms way and about 30 minutes later the flames finally died down around what used to be my Craftsmen Mower. Now it is just a toasty charred hunk of metal with the front tires gone and well.... anything that was combustible is gone. Gone I tell you. Lucky for me I still have my push mower....... Then today, I was rushing to get my garden finished before the rain tomorrow. Took a break for lunch. I was sitting there bragging about my tiller to the guys I was eating lunch with. They were talking about the best small engines and I told them I bought my honda engine for my tiller 14 years ago and it has never failed to run and run great. Famous final words. about 30 minutes into the afternoon push to plant a shit load of corn... YEP... Damn 14 year old perfect motor decided it was tired and threw something out of it that left a gaping hole in the block and gray looking oil leaking out. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! Luckily I had a friend that just happened to have a used motor he let me have for 75 bucks until I get a chance to hitch up the horses and head to town to buy a new one. So.... Looks like to me... My awesome yard and garden area are going to cost me in the neighborhood of 2 grand this year just in planting and upkeep. When I think about how much groceries 2 grand would buy... I think I am going in the hole!!!! And... to top it off. Just when I am feeling really down trodden and needing a little love.. Guess who comes to town... Guess... Nope guess again... ok I will just tell you. Babes Aunt Flow. Bitch shows up every month at just the wrong time. Peace out for now. Gotta go rub some aloe vera on my cock and balls. (No, they were not burned in the fire I just like rubbing stuff on them!)  I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed    RAInBow |
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Well, look at it this way... 2k for the work... Saves you 800 in seed and fertilizer and soil. Saves you 800 in aggravation... Saves you 800 in sweat and frustration cause the shit won't grow. Saves you 800 in gasoline... So.... that's 2 grand in cost...3,600 in cost and aggravation. Send me $500 and we'll call it even. Oh yeah...need a bushel of corn with the money.  Peace is my sister. wgf And please...the name is Bob...not clit. watch [blog clitlick4you]
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4/14/2011 8:02 pm |
This is the second such story of failed resuscitation for mowers coming out of hybernation. I'm getting paranoid now as I've not had the time to awaken the beast at my place. Sorry for your loss. LOL He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
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"Lucky for me I still have my push mower......." Fuck yeah. That's just a real stroke of luck! 
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I think this is God's way of telling you you should have a redneck yard too - complete with weeds and old broken down cars as lawn ornaments! ***
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My bit of grass I call a garden takes about 10 minutes to cut with a strimmer. The shed roof doesn't look too safe  Mind you, the last time I actually went IN the shed was about a year ago!
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All I can grow is freakin' dandy-lions. Ya know you can hitch that horse to the tiller; and the sucker don't need gas pumped in his mouth. Of course, the feed may run ya just as much as the petrol, since you're only gettin' one HP... and that ain't any sorta real fuel efficiency these days--whether you're runnin' gas or ethanol-feedstock powered. Solar...
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Goodness gracious!! I am splitting a side laughing so hard I pissed myself. That will teach you to not flick your cigarette while trying to undo jumper cables.
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Glad you are ok IC - sorry about Aunt Flow.  BehindMyBlues
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You're actually telling HIM to get goats???   "You can't fix stupid...."
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Lucky it wasn't a portable redneck meth lab that exploded or you'd be in even deeper shit. Those good ol' boys who pulled me over in Kentucky back 07 told me they find a lot of those. And once they blow it's hard to hide what they were and you're pretty much up shit creek with no boat wearing lead galoshes. Wasn't there a veteran blogger once from the Pacific Northwest called TillerBabe or something close enough to that?  Or is that a false memory? insert exploding bomb image here
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I can't stop laughing. Sorry....but the picture you painted in my mind just won't stop. Silly man... I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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I had this happen many years ago with a 1978 Bronco I'm building for off raod fun. If I didn't have a couple of extinguishers I would have lost the truck. When I went to work offshore as a company man I had to go to a fire fighting course and have to do the refresher every year. They say that some where around 90% of fires could be stopped by someone trained with a fire extinguisher. I have about 8-10 of them around the house, trucks and shop. It may cost a bit up front but as you know now it can save you a lot of money and lives. Don't get the cheap ones. Get the good ones that can be refilled. They will last you many years. Sorry you had this happen to you. Take care, JC It may cost you up front
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Forget the garden. I am going to use round up on mine this year. Special chemical imported From Saskatchewan. It is illegal here. This is not meant to offend any one in any way.    
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I think I will just set fire to my backyard and start over with stuff that don't need to be cut, weeded, pruned or otherwise attended to!
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Bring back ISeeDP2 say I (pun intended)! Where the hell are ya big man? This site needs its favourite young Einstein lookalike! Fuck the drama, and the drama queens/kings. You're the 3rd funniest blogger on this site (after me and Doe of course!), we need you back! Bring back our ICDP2!
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hey where are you!!!did you rub to hard and need time away !!!   []   Seduce my mind and my body
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Stay off the hot-seat for good and just buy a few goats already, Bard. They'll soon have that place of yours looking like a state park. Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
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