Is the Kiss the Most Intimate and Erotic Act?  

I've loved exploring and experimenting with ways to intensify the erotic ever since I lost my virginity in a threesome with another couple I met through a swing magazine in era long before the internet.

It remains one of the most extraordinary erotic and intimate evenings--and next mornings--of my life.

There was another remarkably intimate moment much later on It was making love with a woman at San Onofre beach on third date. It made it even more intimate--and intense--that she invited me...and we ended up doing it before a small gathering of men and one other couple. As the audience grew in size, our lovemaking became even more intimate and private between us. It helped seal us together in an open marriage for many years.

But I've discovered over the last seven years that nothing is more intimate and erotic than kissing a woman I love with a deeply open heart... the most in love I've ever been.

Confession: some of our favorite kisses have come when are alone together again after a time apart...including apart from each other in the same king bed while with another couple or just alone the morning after such an erotic adventure.

I suspect when couples go beyond vanilla to play with others, they have various reasons--or better yet, feelings--why they have rules against kissing and why others have no such rule….or why sometimes they choose to kiss some play partners passionately and why they may not do the same with a different play partner.

It's interesting to me that it is much more usual for couples to share photos in their galleries and online of them fucking or baring their 'privates' than kissing. Is this the act of sexual passion and lovemaking that we see the least of in profiles and porn? Why is that?

Whatever: For us, it is a beautiful, wonderful mystery how and why and when we have felt those moments, in Betty Everett's words, that "it's in his (or her) kiss." That "it'" can be love, an open heart, or a sensual magic.

Again, my exploring and experimenting with love and sex and passion over the years has convinced me that nothing intensifies the erotic more than love itself, and we can feel it first in the look in the eye, and then the kiss, and then when the mind and soul and body and heart release and surrender together in orgasms.

I corresponded with a woman in England (I never met her) who confessed that she has had orgasms from intense eye contact alone.

I've been with a woman who began quivering from our first intimate kissing…..which began upon leaving a restaurant after our first date, just outside the door.

But in qualification, I think the most intimate and erotic act is any way in which we open ourselves up deeply, profoundly, to another person: it can be a confession of a secret, a deep honesty of soul, a sharing of a hidden fantasy, or any way in which we touch someone with a full, beautiful, compassionate, loving, open heart (and mind), and that touch can be through the eyes, the ears, a hand, a kiss, or anything that penetrates us to the core.