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Hey! Welcome to our little corner of the interwebz :)
Posted:Dec 29, 2010 5:45 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2010 5:45 am

Please, read, comment even, just be respectful is all we ask. Dont expect that many people will agree with what is written here, dont really care either, but if you cant be civil about it, dont bother.
Otherwise, we look forward to hearing from you!
My travel kit
Posted:Sep 18, 2021 8:24 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2021 11:14 am
Just a few items I (James) keep in my go-bag. Fun things! Something for everyone, and maybe a thing or two they want to try, but have been afraid to ask,...
Being a perv in the pandemic
Posted:Sep 18, 2021 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2021 11:43 am

It has been fun to say the least!

My pain slut had the misfortune to be working at Evergreen when it blew up with CV19. She was there for the worst of the initial surge and had seen some shit before she transferred to a less crazy place. Needless to say we hadn't shared any time for over a year, recently getting a chance to have dinner a time or two, but no time to have some intimate time other than a bit of slap tickle in the car after. Hopefully soon we will be able to break that trend. And a bed or two.

My other playmate, well she was pretty much isolated in her lovely home on a hill. The only person she saw with any regularity, aside from the grocery clerk was me, and occasionally my girls when we went for dinner a few times to help keep her company. And of course my personal visits kept her from losing her mind from lack of sex. Sadly she is preparing to move of state, so we are going to go from a weekly visit to a very, very, rare occasion, so I am gearing up my search for new playmates. Again.

The fun part about searching now is CV19 and the vaccine is like adding a new STD to the conversation.
Have you been tested?
Have you had the vaccine?
Shit like that. It is exponentially more difficult since it has been turned into some gross circus sideshow and so many people are happy to jump on one bandwagon or another, tending to throw trash at people who aren't on their wagon, data be damned. Just trying to visualize this same conversation in the lifestyle community about HPV, or Hep-B shots, and if they would be as vehemently biased. I doubt it, but what if?
Personally, I fall in the "I shall once there is more concrete info" set. Not due to some odd beliefs in this or that, but because I have some developing allergy issues and the last few times time I had a new drug I had a very unpleasant reaction. The most recent I was in the hospital for 2 days and was on the edge of having a stroke and/or liver failure. And they don't know why. So, taking something new that may/may not cripple/kill me vs catching something with 99.97% odds it wont, if I get it at all,.... Yeah, not a fan. When they know more about these effects and what may trigger them, I am all over it, but 20 years in the Nuclear Canoe Club being forced to get all kinds of fun diseases and associated side effects (talk to about my experience with accelerated Anthrax vaccine schedules sometime)? No spank you. I social distance, I know who I have been around and if they are vaccinated or not, I just have to balance two really shit odds that could put me down.

Kinda see it this way, I am more than willing to get STI testing anytime someone asks, I am also willing to go get a CV19 test before playing with anyone who may have that concern as well. And with these new variants that the vaccine doesn't stop, maybe I should be asking for CV test results too! It just falls together like that, and at least the CV19 tests are fast. Waiting a couple weeks to play with someone new and tasty for the fkkn STI results is a draaaaaaaag!
Further observations.
Posted:Feb 29, 2020 6:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2021 8:44 pm

From prior post I mentioned newest playmate had some trauma induced boundaries we were gradually wearing down.
We have passed 2 years as regular playmates, somehow managed keep escalating the scenarios, the energy of which we bathe in even as my age starts catch up with my sexuality. Despite those physical issues she has submitted fully, without limits or boundaries. There is no fear, no hesitation, just absolute trust. She is mine in every way she can be without adding more to our relationship outside of the bedroom. Well, much more, there are definite feelings there, but my wives still come first in everything.
For her every fear has been quieted, every nightmare drowned in experiences of sensation, those purely sexual energies in her submission. I know her fantasies and appetites. She has offered up every part of her to use and abuse as I deem fit, no limits, just trust.

It puts me in another potentially precarious position. That of the empowered over the subservient. It could be easily abused, and thus broken. I try to maintain a certain level of steadily increasing intensity, and am prompted push harder, further. Thus far she has absorbed it all and grown in ways as I change her perceptions of pain, pleasure, and lust. But as we dance around the edge of her limits I know there is a fine line, hidden in the leather and lace, where if I get cocky and take liberties it could all come tumbling down.
She is not one to forgive transgressions, so I would lose both a faithful pet and a loving friend. So I must tread lightly, but carry a big paddle.
An observation concerning trust
Posted:Jul 10, 2018 10:12 pm
Last Updated:Feb 29, 2020 5:54 pm
When someone trusts you, if you are smart, you understand the responsibility you have to uphold that trust. If someone has been damaged in the past, and you make the effort to draw them out and help them heal, make no mistake that if you betray that trust the damage you do will be exponentially worse.

One of my playmates had experienced a horrific sexual assault some ago. It kept her from allowing some things, certain touching, embracing, some activities that she enjoyed before. It was also why she had such a problem finding someone that could top her properly I think, she had a tendency to flip the scene and become the top. It may have something to do with the nature of the people she chose to with, they were too safe perhaps. If you can never truly relax control it will be impossible to let go and allow someone to top you.
When we met she was attracted, and intimidated in the right ways. Having two wives and observing my interactions with them gave her some comfort I believe, enough so that she decided to give me a shot.
There were a couple issues as I learned where her limits were, finding the painful spots, and some conversation about what the issue was so we could work around it. Communication is essential when you have underlying hurts or are dealing with someone that has them. We talk well, and move well, the feedback is clear and open both in physical reaction and verbal communication. It's not always so, paying attention is important. Pushing someone into a bad space will ruin the experience, so think with the big brain first!

The reason I bring it up is this last appointment I pushed her further and harder than ever before as far as the scene went, but also in those areas she had displayed problems before. For instance, she went from having an issue if my hand was anywhere near her neck to having in a veritable headlock from behind as I did my best to effectively tear her nerves apart (a good thing, I assure you). The other items are the same, no resistance, no hesitance, total trust. We discussed it and she has come to the conclusion that where I am concerned there are no limits, and while she is my willing toy to use/abuse as I please, one misstep could bring all her trauma back to the top with the force of a hammer to the head. So, I appreciate not only the trust given, but the responsibility that comes with it.
The new girl,...
Posted:Feb 12, 2018 2:07 am
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2018 1:15 am

So lets see, last update I was down to just one woman, one as it were.
Still seeing her as we are able, scheduling has been hectic of late. But I met another woman at our monthly dinner, my senior by a decade, who has been more than happy to take any open dates I may have. Evidently I push her buttons just so as she wrote me a lovely review on another profile. I may have to dig that up to share some time.
She is a tiny little thing, with a serious demeanor that brooks no nonsense. She makes me have to think more when we converse, and that is good as it helps me tighten up my wording, especially when I go to send her something erotic to tease her a day or two before our appointment. She is into some kink, but I was surprised to find that, while a top tending switch, she had never been bound herself.
I put a lot of effort into connecting to my partner/s mentality to better direct stimulation to it's best mind scrambling effect, and that effort paid off in that she not only allowed me to bind her despite her aversion to it, she fairly demanded I do so.
I like rope, Shibari is a beautiful art and I would love to learn it, but my time is often limited so I use straps. I have 6 wide leather belts with dual pins and holes all down the length so I can bind a single wrist or a torso. They have been treated to be smooth and waterproof (and subsequently easy to sanitize, priorities you know), and needed to be broken in. And did we,...
I may put it down in the future, or I may see how it goes next time which may make a better story. Guess we shall just have to see.
Lifestyle people really do rock
Posted:Dec 15, 2017 9:01 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2018 1:28 am

One thing that was always a pain in my ass was the whole STD/STI testing thing. The average reaction is "I'm not dirty, why would I get tested?", or "I'm not a slut, I don't need to be tested" (someone I'm chatting with online about hooking up for random sex). Since I/we got away from messing with vanilla people, even the BIFs, it has been a totally different experience.
Now people in the lifestyle are even more open minded about it than many who are poly. The last 3 people I asked about testing that were outside my preferred window immediately got tested. No bitching, no excuses, just done. An added bonus is having a doctor that doesn't make an issue of it. I went in for another issue and mentioned I needed my screening and she didn't bat a single pretty eyelash (my Dr is kinda hot ), just asked if I wanted the full screening and we were done.
It comes down to being mature responsible adults.
If you are going to be sexually active, you *need* to be responsible for your own health, and in turn for the impact your health may have on those people you are with, be they regular partners or not. I feel just as responsible to the women I have just started seeing as I am to my wives for knowing my STI status. If someone is unwilling to get a simple test I won't touch them, no matter who they are or how drop dead OMFG hott they are. Period.
Dinner meet reboot
Posted:Nov 19, 2017 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2021 11:14 am

So a couple months back we decided to restart the dinner meet after a year hiatus. So far we have done pretty well with an average of 14 people per event except for last month where we had half that. Suspect it was due to our usual venue being slammed with helicopter parents waiting for the homecoming dance to let out. Saw a few folks that may have been looking for us but were unsure who was whom in the mess, and we know it is intimidating enough asking around without the added joy of looking for a group of poly/swing people in a crowded venue.
To that end, in an effort to curb confusion I put together a symbol, a simple white rose in a small glass vase that we set on the table nearest to us so people know whom to look for. Worked out quite well.
We got lucky with the dates with year for Nov/Dec, the 3rd Saturday of the month falls over a week and a half before Thanksgiving and Xmas, a notoriously difficult time to get people out. Last nights meet went quite well, and while we are hopeful for December, it it more likely to be a bit slim. Still, come January when it is cold and people are more interested in indoor sports,... Hopefully the new year will bring larger numbers and continue to bring out new faces.
Swinging vs "poly"
Posted:Aug 21, 2017 2:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2019 7:41 pm

I heard an argument that all thumbs are fingers, but all fingers are not thumbs when applied to a conversation about whether poly is swinging and vice versa. Common thought was that one was not the other in any way.

Technically anything other than a monogamous relationship falls under polyamory by definition. But in the "Lifestyle", there seems to be as many opinions as there are people when it comes to classifying what is swinging and what is poly, and even whether "Lifestyle" is strictly swinging, and "Poly" is everything else.

Personally I stick to definitions to avoid confusion, so to me poly and swinging fall under polyamory. But there are people in the swing community that will argue vehemently that they are not poly, and same with poly people that argue the opposite (and often look down on the "swingers").

Having been cast out by both groups (with notable exceptions of course, we did meet great people that don't like perceptions creating policy any more than we do) because Deni and I did not full swap, but still had numerous random women partners. So we didn't swing by popular definition, but weren't poly by theirs either.

So, thoughts?

And then?....
Posted:Mar 24, 2017 10:52 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2021 8:29 pm

Down to one playmate in regular rotation, and I'm sure she'll be happy about that since between winter illnesses and scheduling issues she's been feeling neglected. I'm not buying it, but a good flogging and some rowdy sex should take care of that.

My other playmate has asked that we cease our appointments as she has recently reconnected with a friend from college and things are getting interesting. She was afraid I would be upset, I had to remind her that one of my primary purposes behind our appointments was not just to help relieve both sexual and physical stress, but to bolster her self confidence so she would be less likely to settle for whatever came along and be in a better place to take full advantage of such an opportunity. Besides, a real friend wants you to be happy, and I prefer that my lovers be friends, so,...
Here's hoping it works out, she needs and deserves a good partner in her life.

In other news:
Still searching for potential fwb//victims (perception is a thing) between my workplace and home. My current plaything takes me a good way out of my usual route so I get home fairly late, not to mention losing valuable sex time! I could really go for a hot single woman, but I'd entertain joining a couple for some raunchy 3 ways too. I just get the feeling that attempting to make contacts via our group profile may be chasing people off. But were I to make a swingle male profile, standing out amidst the sea of penises that wave like wheat in the wind around every eligible woman on the internet,... I may be able to do amazing things (reviews, just saying), but I have doubts that getting through the wall of leg humpers is one of them. Perhaps time to revamp our profile a bit? Hmmmm.
1 comment
Current affairs (pun intended)
Posted:Jan 1, 2017 2:45 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2017 8:33 am

So, time for an update!

Currently I am actively seeing two ladies for what we have half jokingly called "therapy sessions". Not really far fetched as one woman I am her only male playmate and I offset her husbands more strict dominance with my playful yet firm attempts to find the limits of her conditioning, this is both exceedingly amusing and may be helpful for them because he promptly shores up any weakness I may expose in her training. The other woman is a repressed freak that recently escaped a 2 yr relationship with a very poor lay, my devious nature pulling her forcibly out of that shell and exposing her to the real joys of raw sex again, vastly improving her self image in the process.

Damn but I enjoy my work!

I have one other woman locally that would be in the rotation as well but our schedules never jive so we spend more time teasing each other than anything, with very rare face to face time and the occasional grope (last time I think she was about to cum just from a little back rub, a tit grope, and neck biting. We *need* to bang!).
I did meet a very sub woman, like absolute slave/sub, but we cannot play because she is hesitant to get an STI screening, and that is a rule I refuse to bend no matter how much fun it may be. Sad really, she seems like a lot of fun waiting to happen.

There is a common current among these 4 women, they are all sexually submissive and call me sir when we talk about sex. It's a role I am becoming more comfortable with, reinforced by my sessions with the married one as she requires a specific touch to be submissive in play and I am gaining confidence as I learn her boundaries and push her harder and further to make her crack. I take that into my play with the other women in my life as well. It is still surreal at times because I never saw myself as a dominant, but when I step back and look at it impartially, I am not the same man I was some years ago. I can finally see the differences and understand why these women are attracted to me and call me sir, so in effect the "therapy" goes both ways.

I'm hoping I continue to find new friends to play with (closer to my route between work/home would be a bonus!), joining a couple looking to bring in a well behaved male to help please the lady would be a fun new addition to my experience set. Here's hoping anyway!
Learned a new term recently
Posted:Nov 26, 2016 11:13 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2021 7:30 pm


The term used to describe persons who are part of a couple (or more) that look for partners and play solo as a single person.

An apt term I believe.
1 comment
This one time,....
Posted:Oct 9, 2016 10:54 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2016 7:34 pm

I came into the room, realizing this was it, we are going to do this. I had not been with anyone different for a long time. I was nervous, excited, and I wanted her so bad.
She looked expectant and apprehensive at the same time. She walked up to me and looked into my eyes one at a time, leaned in close to me and breathed in my scent. Reaching up behind me, she freed my hair and pulled it down so she could smell it as well, then she kissed me. Short, sweet, but sure of herself.
And that was it, the ice broken, we were going to have sex for the first time.

She turned and led me to the bathroom for a shower, we stripped as we walked. I followed her in and after she turned on the water I took her hand, spun her around so her arm was pinned behind her and the other held down by my arm around her waist. Pushing her against the wall I kissed her for real, hard, drawing the air from her as she shuddered and closed her eyes. I reached my free hand up, cupping her breast, making her sigh, then drawing lines down her body with my nails, brushing near her pubic mound where I could feel her already so wet it was running down her thigh. She had warned me she got this way, I liked it. My touch made her almost moan, when I pushed my leg between hers and leaned my whole body into her she moaned loudly, shaking in my arms. I set my teeth in her neck and growled lightly by her ear which made her tremble and smile.
Releasing her and I stepped back, she gazed at me with half lidded eyes and faltered a bit on her 1st step, an easy grin on her face.

We got in the shower and explored each other, washing each others bodies, teasing, getting that much more excited with every touch. I wanted to take her right then in the shower, but it would wait. In the mean time I paid attention to how she reacted to my fingers, what places made her moan, shudder, or jump.
We got out, chatting mildly about nothing, both lost in thought of what would come next. We walked into the bedroom and she sat on the bed, looking up at me as she reached for my cock. The look of raw lust in those eyes thrilled me, I could look into those eyes forever.
She drew me in and dropped her gaze as she took me into her mouth, slowly, teasing me. Then, gazing back up into my eyes, she slid all of me down her throat till her nose touched my abdomen and she could tickle my balls with her tongue. I sucked in a half strangled breath and ran my fingers through her hair, exhaling with a shudder and moan. She worked my cock over for a short bit, making me so hard it felt about to burst before laying back and drawing me down on top of her.

I kissed, licked, and sucked her succulent breasts, tasting all of them, and tracing wet lines with my lips and tongue around them and up her neck where I would nibble and bite. I slowly traced the curve between breast and thigh with one hand, and as I slid my hand between her thighs to finally touch the hot, wet, folds of her pussy for the first time I laid the weight of my body on her, bit down on her neck just below her ear, and growled low and deep in my chest. Her eyes rolled back and she shook from the excitement, the heat, the sensations of my hand on her sex and the light pain of my teeth, but mostly from the sound I made. She had been told about that sound, and now that she heard it, my beast within I suppose, she liked it.
"Oh god, that growl, she was right,..."
I just smiled and kissed the spot I had bitten, drawing back a bit to really look at her, her body, and now that I was more to one side, I could fully see the sweet lines of her glistening folds. She told me she got really wet, she wasn't kidding. My hand was soaked, her excitement making a wet spot on the sheet.
I started to explore her pussy with my fingers. One, then two, pushing inside her folds to feel the heat of her, the clench of her as I found the spots that made her squirm and sigh. I reached inside her, deep inside, and as I continued to explore her body with lips and tongue, I continued to work her pussy over, making a sweet mess between her thighs.
She loved my hair, the way it felt, the smell of it, of me after a day of work, she ran her hands through it and let it cascade into her face and across her chest and as I started to bring her she wrapped her fingers in it, through it. I love having my hair played with.
She started to jump about and told me no more hands. "I want you in me, I want to feel that cock, NOW". Being ever the gentleman I complied to the ladies wish.
This was it. This young woman whom I had admired for a long time but kept distant for various reasons, had revealed her attraction for me, was giving herself to me. And I wanted it so badly,...
I spread her legs, getting a full view of her beautiful flower, glistening in a sheen of her own juices. I eased in between her thighs, teasing as I let her feel the tip of my cock brush against her lips, her heat almost burning. I rubbed the tip against her clit a few times and got her more worked up with this till she almost whimpered from being teased, whereupon I eased the head between her folds and slid all of me inside her, slow yet firm, all the way to the balls, grinding my pubic bone into her clit. Her eyes opened wide, then her face went slack a moment as she reveled in the sensation for a moment before she looked at me again and we locked eyes as I started ro fuck her with full, slow strokes. She dug her nails into my ass and pulled her legs back to get as much of me in her as would fit and I continued to increase my pace and came down on her harder each time untill I was slamming into her, pounding out a furious pace as she moaned and writhed beneath me. Her hot, wet pussy felt so good, she moved her hips up to meet me, matching my pace as I fucked her.
She stopped me before I brought her, so we could change position. She rolled over onto her hands and knees presenting her sexy round ass to me, an ass I'd been admiring for some time, and now it was mine to do with as I please. I leaned down and as I rubbed and caressed her sweet round cheeks, I kissed and nibbled the soft flesh while sliding a finger into her pussy. I could see her juices running down her thighs as she leaned back into me, asking for something more. She was so wet, more than anyone I had been with before. I moved up behind her and in one smooth movement slid into her to the hilt. A hiss escaped my clenched teeth, it was so fucking hot in her pussy and it felt amazing as she rocked her hips, working her pussy muscles, milking my cock. I started to slide in and out of her, gradually increasing pace untill the loud slap of our skin echoed in the room. She mumbled how much she loved the feel of my balls as they bounced off her clit. She threw her head back, moaning loudly, almost screaming. I reached up with one arm and wrapped my hand around her neck, squeezing just enough to let her feel me, pulling her up higher and back into me as I fucked her harder, watching the sexy sight of my cock sliding out, glistening with her wetness, then disappearing inside her again.
She came close again, so close she was shaking to fight it off. She pulled away from me, and turning on the bed slammed me down on my back, and stradling my hips, slides her pussy over me. She begins to grind on my cock, rubbing her clit against my pubic bone as she angles her ass so my cock is massaging that special spot in her pussy. I can feel she is even wetter now, impossibly so, as it drips down my balls and thighs. She lifts up slightly and rolls her hips rapidly, fucking me like that in a shuddering half controlled manner untill she cannot stand it any more and finally comes with a scream to the sky as she slams herself onto my cock and grinds her clit against me so hard it's hotly painful before collapsing on top of me in a heavily breathing, giggling heap.
My turn.
She lays back on the bed, I massage her beautiful full breasts while she lazily plays with my cock. She pulls me to her mouth and proceeds to swallow me whole again so I can feel the head of my cock slipping down her throat. I am so hard at this point I could pound nails with it, I need release.
As she caresses my ass and balls I lean over her and start to stroke my cock, she runs her tounge over and around the tip, staring hard into my eyes with raw lust. I let her suck me again before pulling down slightly as I start to stroke in earnest, she smiles up at me then starts to really watch my cock, squeezing my balls. "God that's hot, give it to me!".
I comply. My breathing becomes ragged, small, animal sounds escape my lips as I angle my cock to her sweat covered breasts. My cock begins to pulse and throb, and as I roar out like a beast I cover her tits in hot cum while she smiles, mouth open, reveling in the heat of it as it pools between her breasts. "There it is, that roar is hot as fuck!".
I collapse against the wall, smiling as I collect myself, feeling the buzz of the endorphines fade as I take in the sight of her laying there, beaming, radiant, covered in my jizz.

And that was just the first time.

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