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| Blogs > Freedom4FunNow > The Alien Logs |
MARQUIS DE SADE IS ALIVE AND WELL
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MARQUIS DE SADE IS ALIVE AND WELL I had close dealings with a majorly disturbed sociopath this past week. By close dealings I mean he was within an inch of me, had his hands on me and caused me grievous bodily harm. Why you may ask did I not do something to prosecute this individual? It is because this type of sociopath is sanctioned by society. Not only are they not punished for their insane cruelty, but they are paid to inflict their brand of torture on innocents. I am talking about my dentist. You might also ask why I class dentists in the same category as serial killers, baby seal maimers, puppy stompers and granny bashers. I submit as evidence of their mental instability, the requirements that dentists must meet in order to do their line of work. 1.They enjoy close contact with spit, blood, pus, bad breath, rotten teeth, plaque, and fuzzy tongues. 2.They enjoy wielding instruments of torture. 3.They think nothing of prying solid enamel embedded deeply in bone out of your jaw, using a pair of pliers. 4.They don’t care that they are universally, cross-culturally and globally hated. 5.They wield large needles with impunity. 6.Everyone is afraid of them. 7.They have the highest suicide rate of all professions. I have a long held fear of dentists. This is mainly due to the fact that I have very strong teeth. As a none of my “milk” teeth fell out and I had to have most of them extracted in the space of one year. Back then they didn’t have fancy TV’s on the ceiling and chairs that massaged your back. And the needles were bigger. It left a lasting impression. Luckily, thanks to my strong teeth however, I never had a cavity throughout my years and adulthood. I did however have to have both wisdom teeth removed and a root canal later on in life. The first time, the chair shook so badly, the water on the arm of the chair was spilling out of the little cup. The dentist asked the nurse to hold my hand. I was 24 years old. At 29, I had the second one removed and the dentist asked if I wanted to be put under for the procedure. I jumped at the chance. They put a mask over my face and pumped gas through. I panicked. Not the ‘oh my goodness, what’s that strange smell and difficulty to breathe sensation’ kind of discomfort. I mean the all out blinding white panic that erases all rational thought and leaves a hysterical screaming, arms flailing, legs kicking, thrashing wild woman in its place kind of panic. They held me down, and sustained multiple injuries, I might add during the 15 to 20 seconds it took for the gas to take effect. By the time I had my root canal, my fear of dentists had ramped up to an all encompassing phobia. The dentist gave me two injections and picked up his drill. I freaked. I told him he was insane if he thought I was going to let him start drilling without sufficiently numbing me. He asked how many injections I wanted. I asked how many was he legally allowed to give me. We settled on seven. I didn’t actually feel any of the work he did but I couldn’t open my jaw for a week from using my mouth as a pin cushion. Recently I have been suffering severe toothache. I’m really<b> skilled </font></b>at playing an ostrich when it comes to these things. I felt sure that enough waiting, ignoring and self denial would result in the satisfying outcome of the problem just going away. My boss however was less optimistic and harassed me into making an appointment to get it taken care of. So I picked a butcher, umm I mean dentist out of the phone book and found myself sitting in his chair in the blink of an eye. When he gave me big goggles to wear to protect my face and eyes, I knew I was in trouble. I was shaking so badly he made the nurse hold my hand. At 40, I would have been embarrassed by this but I was distracted by the tears pouring down my face. He gave me a choice between an $1800 root canal and a $300 extraction. It was a back tooth and I am not a fan of drilling body parts so I gave the go ahead to pull the tooth. I told him that I don’t get numb easily. He said he was sure that wasn’t true and set about to numb the area with the first of what turned out to be multiple injections. He was amazed that nothing happened. I spoke normally (in between the abject sobbing), there was no droop to my mouth or slur to my words and I screamed like a banshee every time he touched the tooth. He decided he would drill the tooth so that he could inject the analgesic directly into the cavity. Except every time he tried to drill, I jumped ten feet into the air all the while screaming murder and assault. Two hours of drilling and injections later and he said he had one more thing to try to get me numb. He rolls in this machine that he claimed would pressure shoot the analgesic into the gums. I think he had a gleam in his eye as he described this, the fucker. Well after that little exercise in Nazi torture I was somewhat numb, but when he picked up the pliers and tried to extract I bellowed that I could still feel what he was doing. He said he had never come across someone with such a tolerance for analgesic and he was all out of ideas. He said he could send me home with antibiotics to try and reduce some of the irritation to the nerves and try again in a week. Like fuck was I going to go through all this again so I grabbed hold of the arms of the chair and the nurse’s hand and I told him to go for it. He braced himself and started prying. The office was filled with my yelling, him shouting “I’m almost done, just hag in there!,” and his nurse yelling “it’s OK, squeeze my hand, I can take it!” And then it was over. When I emerged into the waiting area, it was empty. I wonder if all the screaming and wailing had anything to do with that? After all this, I’m left to wonder if my reaction to Novocain type products is because I am just an overly sensitive type of person and nothing gets in the way of that sensitivity, or I am a particularly unfeeling kind of person to start with and so further numbing is undetectable. . Freedom Live. Laugh. Love. |
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7/3/2009 2:58 pm |
right now i have stitches on my right upper gums because of a procedure. i cant talk, eat, sleep. I agree they are the spawn of the devil..... next week i have another appointment to do my other side of my mouth.... GAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Inteligencia=erotismo 
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I'm sorry for your trip to hell and back. I live in the land of shiny, white teeth. Perhaps there are better dentists here, or perhaps they make a better living and have more customers than in Delaware. I was in need of a total dental overhaul last year starting at about this time of year. I chose an Asian destist this time, with LITTLE hands... He was great, and during the 3 months I was going to him, I had a lot of fun with him and his female staff, and suffered only a small amount of pain and discomfort. Better luck next time. Your teeth are important. Try to keep them in good shape for as long as possible even though, as in my case, you will end up spending enough to buy a new Lexus on them.   
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7/3/2009 9:39 pm |
When i was a young lad we were too poor to afford fancy things like dentistry. I finally went when I was twenty. The dentist jabbed that needle right into my gums where i had an infection. MOTHERFUCKER is what i believe i said. I later found out that they weren't supposed to do that. Being a dentistry virgin, i just assumed that was how it was supposed to feel. He pulled a couple of teeth and filled a couple of cavities. I'm 48 and haven't been to a dentist since. I think I could do just as well with a hammer and a power drill. I'm not going back until i can have all my teeth yanked out at one time and replaced with dentures. What do you call someone who flunks out of medical school? A fucking dentist!!!
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right now i have stitches on my right upper gums because of a procedure. i cant talk, eat, sleep. I agree they are the spawn of the devil..... next week i have another appointment to do my other side of my mouth.... GAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck! Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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I'm sorry for your trip to hell and back. I live in the land of shiny, white teeth. Perhaps there are better dentists here, or perhaps they make a better living and have more customers than in Delaware. I was in need of a total dental overhaul last year starting at about this time of year. I chose an Asian destist this time, with LITTLE hands... He was great, and during the 3 months I was going to him, I had a lot of fun with him and his female staff, and suffered only a small amount of pain and discomfort. Better luck next time. Your teeth are important. Try to keep them in good shape for as long as possible even though, as in my case, you will end up spending enough to buy a new Lexus on them. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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When i was a young lad we were too poor to afford fancy things like dentistry. I finally went when I was twenty. The dentist jabbed that needle right into my gums where i had an infection. MOTHERFUCKER is what i believe i said. I later found out that they weren't supposed to do that. Being a dentistry virgin, i just assumed that was how it was supposed to feel. He pulled a couple of teeth and filled a couple of cavities. I'm 48 and haven't been to a dentist since. I think I could do just as well with a hammer and a power drill. I'm not going back until i can have all my teeth yanked out at one time and replaced with dentures. What do you call someone who flunks out of medical school? A fucking dentist!!! (Sigh) and my nightmare isn't over. I developed complications with the extraction site, and now I have to go back to the fucker twice this week to treat it. The pain is unbearable. Right about now, trading all my teeth for dentures sounds reallllyyy good. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Find a beautiful and gentle ( but firm ) female dentist who is hip to the new generation of ultrasound tools. It doesn't have to be ( such ) an unpleasant experience. I like my dentist so much that next time I go I'm going to ask her if she happens to have a twin sister who never married or had kids!  insert exploding bomb image here
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I find it hard to believe that having dental work could ever be a pleasurable experience. Be careful, a wife might cause you way more pain than a dentist anyway. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Maybe you could free base xylocaine like they do with cocaine and smoke the stuff, that might be fun.  The only problem I can see is that the whole body would go numb, not just the mouth.Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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I wish my dentist WOULD come at me with a pressure-shooting anything. Stories such as yours are the reason I rarely go to dentists until half of my teeth are about to fall out. I need so much anesthesia that I always have to haggle with the dentist about it, and it's like...so you're really telling me that I *don't* know my pain thresholds? Go ahead and try to drill anything without at least five shots. I hope you're not fond of your testicles, as they're about to be impaled by my heels. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Ohhhhh I believe it. The update to my blog is that the dentist totally botched the extraction resulting in dry socket and infection. I had to go back every other day for two weeks while on a slew of drugs. (Ok the drugs part was kinda fun) Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Hahahahaha projectile vomiting to the face....No wonder dentists have the highest suicide rates of all professions. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Some ppl are genetically unaffected by different drugs e.g. I've met someone who could never get high from e.g. pot so it is possible some legal painkillers don't work for you. You have my sympathies - I'm lucky - I fall asleep when they do work on me. 
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Some ppl are genetically unaffected by different drugs e.g. I've met someone who could never get high from e.g. pot so it is possible some legal painkillers don't work for you. You have my sympathies - I'm lucky - I fall asleep when they do work on me. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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OMG! In all the times I tried it, it did NOTHING to me, either! And I've evidently had the normal to "ultra good stuff." Nothing. I don't drink often. Too expensive. Hahahaha. Thankfully I don't need it to have a good time. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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hmmmm I tried pot twice and never got high either. Dammit so a life of drug addiction is out for me? How am I to escape the harsh gritty realities of life???  Wish me luck - I go in Tue diagnostic for a painful tooth too... 
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In all seriousness do consider seeing a pain specialist - in the 21st century I think it is reasonable to assume one can experience basic medical & dental care w/o severe pain. Probably in conjunction (and I suspect a good pain clinic will include this) you may also want to look into mind tools. This isn't New Agey "think your pain away" - this is that based on your prior experiences your mind has built up conditioned responses ('grooves' I call 'em) which would need to be re-shaped.
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LMAO see? I knew it!!! You have to have psychopathic tendencies to become a dentist! Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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