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| Blogs > Freedom4FunNow > The Alien Logs |
NASA TODAY. BRAIN SURGEON TOMORROW!
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NASA TODAY. BRAIN SURGEON TOMORROW! My mother has officially taken leave of her senses. She has been on an ongoing crusade to “move her only to FL” for the longest time. Let me give you a little background. I used to live in FL ten years ago. I spent three hellish years there. I know. I’m obviously unbalanced. Everyone loves FL right? Sunshine, beaches, Disney World. Who wouldn’t want to live there? Whereas I on the other hand, was thrilled to finally escape. I finally snapped one day, quit my job, stuck a pin in a map and drove to Wintersville Ohio, population 16, with all my belongings. FL has the reputation for being the sunshine state. But it rains. EVERY day. Yes there are beaches but also 28,000 people on them. As well as sharks cruising for a midday snack. Give me a pool any day. Nobody ever died from someone peeing in a pool, which is about as dangerous as pool swimming gets. The mosquitoes are large enough to pick you up and carry you away as fast food takeout. High cost of living, low pay, a marked lack of teeth (in the old AND the young), a dearth of history, culture, interesting architecture and always being a minimum of 20 minutes from the nearest loaf of bread... just about rounds up the tally score for avoiding the place. Suffice it to say, FL is not on my list of places to be for periods longer than it takes to exchange Christmas gifts with family. So back to the story. My mother called me last night to ask me (again) what kind of job it would take to entice me back to FL. I don’t know if any of you know any social workers/preschool teachers. But you can safely bet that their income is about equivalent to what they’d probably make panhandling in a bunny costume to the tune of “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree.” I've worked with for 20 years but I'm now in fact considering renting the bunny suit because I am inclined to think I might make more. So I felt safe to say to my hopeful mother that I’d move back to FL for a salary of ohhh say $60,000 a year. She then informed me that she has such a job lined up for me and all I need to do is to go to the website and apply. She assured me that this job was mine for the taking. She said that the person responsible for hiring was avidly awaiting my resume and would hire me as soon as I submitted my application. I promised to check it out. She changed my dirty diapers for the first 2 years of my life. The least I can do is humor her right? So I logged on to the website. And discovered the little details that she left out...That the job is for NASA. And it is for an engineer who has a minimum of 5 years experience in aerospace design and development. Well there is humoring and then there is humoring. I called my mother back and spent 15 minutes very patiently explaining that being of alien origin and relatively<b> skilled </font></b>at playing space invaders back in the 80's, did not in actuality qualify me for coordinating the launch of space shuttles and developing updates to their design. She then informed me that everyone they tried to hire wanted a salary of $120,000 (go figure...) and that if I’d accept $60,000, they would hire me and train me for the job. Now I know economic times are hard, but I’m finding it difficult to believe that NASA is hiring nannies to cut costs. She argued her case, asking me the worst that could happen. I described my mental image of my resume being posted on the notice board in some space station for astronauts to laugh their asses off at for the next 20 years. She was unmoved. But the really pathetic part of all this is, I just didn’t have the will to disappoint my mom. So I filled out the application form and hit submit. What ridiculous thing have you done to please a loved one recently? . Freedom Live. Laugh. Love. |
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Yay! A second opinion makes it official. Florida does suck! Yes I think I'm going to need to bury this memory also. This was above and beyond the call of duty. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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I could almost feel the pat on my head through the phone. And see her "mother knows what she is talking about, so LISTEN" smirk. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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I can believe it! Her 'patient' "Just wait, and you'll see" smugness is already unbelievable. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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10/17/2009 6:25 am |
Haven't you ever made a paper airplane? I think that should count as expedience in space craft design. Is your mother still holding on to that dream of her little girl marrying an astronaut? I can't get the phrase, Houston we have a problem, out of my head. HUGS
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Haven't you ever made a paper airplane? I think that should count as expedience in space craft design. Is your mother still holding on to that dream of her little girl marrying an astronaut? I can't get the phrase, Houston we have a problem, out of my head. HUGS Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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I regret to inform you that I have just finished submitting my own resume, and unfortunately for you, I agreed to do it for $45k/year. Sure, I don't have a clue about actual rocket science, but I have seen Star Wars at least 30 times. I also sent my own screenshots of my Space Invaders high scores, which no doubt dwarf yours in comparison. Bring on the O-Rings! PoorMeImSane
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I regret to inform you that I have just finished submitting my own resume, and unfortunately for you, I agreed to do it for $45k/year. Sure, I don't have a clue about actual rocket science, but I have seen Star Wars at least 30 times. I also sent my own screenshots of my Space Invaders high scores, which no doubt dwarf yours in comparison. Bring on the O-Rings! Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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It just so happens I have lots of experience with both drinking and diapers. So maybe I really do stand a chance of being NASA's next engineer. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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 Wait~~~  You are actually considering moving to that fleabiten overgrown sandtrap  FOUR!Maybe you'll get to keep the kids while their parents are in space... FriendFinder-x Parody Of a Real Sex Site
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Holy hell she'd have to have some SERIOUS connections or at least some good blackmail dirt in order to pull off nannies building space shuttles. Maybe I could just put the diapers on the astronauts. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Awww, that must have been awkward getting porn for your dad. Certainly above and beyond the call of duty. As for the space shuttles....I watched Apollo 13 and can now repair a space shuttle using nothing but cardboard, a plastic bag and duct tape. So I am feeling confident about my qualifications. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Wait~~~ You are actually considering moving to that fleabiten overgrown sandtrap FOUR!Maybe you'll get to keep the kids while their parents are in space... Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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10/19/2009 7:59 pm |
I have the misfortune of actually being a true native of Florida and born in Miami Beach. I left Florida by choice 25 years ago. I prefer and enjoy a real change of seasons. I have a fear of sharks, the aquatic and the human kind, and I even grew up with some neighbors quite friendly with the Mafia! The best thing about being in Florida, for me, was going to the University of Florida, graduating twice, and I have been a die hard Gator fan ever since. I can also concur that many jobs there pay little, I have done much better financially since moving north. I don't think the lure of NASA is enough to move, but I certainly prefer Brevard county and the Melbourne-Cocoa Beach-Cape area to South Florida. The fly boys at Patrick Air Force Base aren't bad either. Marry one and live on the beach in base housing! You can't really blame your mom; she is just trying to help you out. Tell her if she can get you a job at $100,000 you'll consider moving. Another few months and it will be a great time to go check out the scenery and enjoy a bit of moderate weather in the middle of winter. My favorite time to be there is early March. No snowbirds, not a whole lot of traffic,and the bugs aren't out yet. I wish you luck in finding some decent employment. This is sure a tough economy to do so.
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I have the misfortune of actually being a true native of Florida and born in Miami Beach. I left Florida by choice 25 years ago. I prefer and enjoy a real change of seasons. I have a fear of sharks, the aquatic and the human kind, and I even grew up with some neighbors quite friendly with the Mafia! The best thing about being in Florida, for me, was going to the University of Florida, graduating twice, and I have been a die hard Gator fan ever since. I can also concur that many jobs there pay little, I have done much better financially since moving north. I don't think the lure of NASA is enough to move, but I certainly prefer Brevard county and the Melbourne-Cocoa Beach-Cape area to South Florida. The fly boys at Patrick Air Force Base aren't bad either. Marry one and live on the beach in base housing! You can't really blame your mom; she is just trying to help you out. Tell her if she can get you a job at $100,000 you'll consider moving. Another few months and it will be a great time to go check out the scenery and enjoy a bit of moderate weather in the middle of winter. My favorite time to be there is early March. No snowbirds, not a whole lot of traffic,and the bugs aren't out yet. I wish you luck in finding some decent employment. This is sure a tough economy to do so. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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Non verbal men that have no will of heir own could have some interesting uses. Although the nappies are definitely a passion killer. Freedom Live. Laugh. Love.
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You humor me. Unemployment, car insurance.......NASA astronuts, Fl rains, i've got to admitt you have the life, im jelous. Still your sence of humor lives on.
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This may provide me with hours of reading!!! Anyway, I just might be a classy pervert. Or, as you say, a pervert with class. I'm a standard member, and so far, no one has told me paying is worth the money. In fact, some have told me the opposite. Anyway, check me out. I hang in the same chat room. I do get to your area when I have a good reason. Are you a good reason?
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