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| Blogs > peekabooicu2ucme > Musings and mayhem of my mind |
Dam it up
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Dam it up The silence I hear, it beats in my head, Too much I do feel, quick, kill it dead. Cry it out my eyes when no one is near, Spill it out and extinguish all my fear. Drown these wishes so foolishly thought, Look away, away as my feelings do rot. I knew, I heard, what the hell? When exactly was it that I fell? Some how, some way, it snuck up fast, Why didn't I, didn't I learn from the past? How can I turn my heart into ice? Or is it just that I'm far too nice? So close, so far, not anywhere near? What are these inconsistant words that I hear? I'm confused and lost yet I see it so clear, Or I thought I did, or is that just fear? Do I trick myself and twist the meaning? Is this really what you're feeling? What's wrong with me I wonder now, Is there anything I could change, if so, how? Is it me, is it you, is it fate? I twist in sorrow to not feel hate. Anger at my life so far and who I am, Wishing to somehow fix it if I can. Am I too weak or too strong or just a mess? Will you ever tell me, or do I have to guess? So much you don't know, because I don't say, Don't worry about it, we can just play. It's my fault, my mess, I'll clean up it all. And I'll keep working on building up that wall. Not to keep you out, but to keep me in, It's me that's the problem, me with the sin. Don't fear me or the pain I feel inside, It's not for you, don't run, don't hide. So much I wish to ask but I won't, So much I wish you felt, but I know, you just don't. Am I what I saw in the mirror today? There are some words that I just can't say. I don't want to push or poke or pry, I'm working on it, do you see me try? Do my gestures make you feel as I intend? Or do they make you want to make it all end? Do you ever wish it was what I wish for too? Could it ever grow to be the same for you? Almost you once said to me, Almost but it's not to be. Why is the hardest question I can not ask, So I cut and scrape, bent at my task. My word is my oath and I promised my feelings, I have them forever inside no matter our dealings. I'll box them up as best I can, Wonder if I could do it better, were I a man. I thought I saw something when I looked in your eyes, How I wish you thought me worthy of your prize. It's alright to hold me close as you push me away, I know, I know, it's only in my dreams you stay. I'll not grovel for the pieces you share, You'd not want me to anyways, I know you do care. If ever you see my eyes start to flow, Please look away, don't say a word, and just know.  |
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SAD NOW!     The Swedish Angel What are we reading Those that makes me go hmmmmm
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SAD NOW!  Don't stay sad. I don't. 
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