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Female Sex Drugs
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Female Sex Drugs This post is only viewable by FriendFinder-x members. Join FriendFinder-x now! |
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I wrote this on another guy's blog that was longing for his old girl friend who he always had a good time with back in high school. I was married for 22 years, with 2 kids and now I'm sitting in a dump reading your blog. Forget about the old GF. She has baggage just like the rest of us. Hire a babysitter YOURSELF, and do anything with your wife. Call your wife's friend to find the sitter, not a BJ. Go to dinner, coffee, or Christmas shopping. Take some initiative about anything she normally does, and help her with it. Ask her what she plans to do about whatever, but have at least one opinion of your own about the subject. Plan ahead, because she will ask you about something you won't be prepared for. Instead of improvising, tell her the truth, and tell her you haven't considered whatever it is she brought up, but would like to know what her thoughts are. Listen to her and if you have an idea about how you could help her out, by all means FOLLOW THROUGH. Think only good things about her and try to treat her as good as you did while you were still dating. No matter how much she bitches, find a way to be NICE. If you show that you still care, that you want to help with the kids (I know what you're thinking, but you just don't have an idea how much she does, especially considering homework...), she will start to pay attention to you. Crap women say that seems like they are just frustrated, if ignored, will land you in a dump just like the one I'm sitting in. Also, talk to a woman at work, and ask her what she thinks you should do. It's kind of like having a spy. They know how their own kind thinks! I just learned too late. Good luck! Better luck than I had. After reading my own words, "Crap women say", I need to clarify!I guess I was just trying to get to the point. Don't think of her rambling and complaining as just her bitching. It will be hard to not be defensive, but she needs for him to hear her too. I'm getting off subject. I just meant to post my agreement with you. Since DAY ONE I did dishes and laundry and vacuumed. When the kids came, I continued with the chores, and changed dirty diapers. Our sex and life in general was great. Where I went wrong? I didn't ask her out to lunch, dinner, movie, drink, coffee, walk, sit on the porch and talk, etc... I didn't think we could afford it. I'm such an idiot!
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virginat45: A man that understands and 'gets it'! .... Just one other thought, some of the ladies don't want to have sex with their S/O because they are no longer attracted to them. Men forget that we too can be turned off by the pot belly! I'm not sure how you I could just grow out of an attraction to someone. It makes me sad to think that I could get married to someone and treat them well and allow them to grow into the person they want to be, and that they might just decide one day that I'm not ringing their bell anymore. It seems to me the loss of attraction would only come after years of mistreatment or failure to support and nurture your partner. I'm still totally turned on by my ex-wife, as much as I am still very angry at her. I just can't see her because anymore as a friend because the attraction is still there and I know when she tries to put on the charm that it's too hard to resist. She's just a sexy lady who is too selfish for me to be with. And about pot bellies, I was fighting a bit of a pooch for quite a while with varying degrees of success until I got divorced. Then it completely went away. I might have been eating my worries away, who knows? I've known way too many men who end up working so hard to support their family, 2 jobs and the like, that they don't have time to work out and they eat like crap. The pot belly is inevitable for them. Sometimes those guys and their wives need to make a choice between a luxurious standard of living and a more simple life with better health. It occurs to me that we don't have to work as hard as we think we do to be successful in a marriage. Of course I say that because my ex-wife enjoyed living a lavish lifestyle and I put up with it to keep her happy. I don't even think I could stop being attracted to a woman when her breasts go saggy and her proportions change with age. She's still the woman I love, and that's always a turn-on for me, no matter what her weight or condition.
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mytbone5: Since DAY ONE I did dishes and laundry and vacuumed. When the kids came, I continued with the chores, and changed dirty diapers. Our sex and life in general was great. Where I went wrong? I didn't ask her out to lunch, dinner, movie, drink, coffee, walk, sit on the porch and talk, etc... I didn't think we could afford it. I'm such an idiot! Wow you really need to get back into the marketplace. You're going to make some lucky woman very very happy. Guys who understand this are few and far between. You're right though, you need to shower a woman with enough romance that she is totally secure and happy. I feel awful that you had to go through that. Did she just ask you to leave with no other guy in the picture? That's weird. There must have been some other stressful thing going on. Typically when people decide to leave you, they string you along until they're situated in their next relationship and then they dump you. You only get the plain old boot when you're causing them some kind of distress or harm. You're right that guys need to have a woman friend to talk to about these things, but it's dangerous because when I start confiding in women and having a close friendship, we almost always end up in bed together when one of us gets in the dumps. It's hard not to want to make the other person feel better. It's really hard for me to listen to these stories, but I learn so much from them. My friend Kerry calls me several times a week and she's always profoundly sad about the end of her marriage. We always kick ourselves, I think, about the ways that we were insensitive or not supportive of them. Kerry, in particular, is just now realizing the valuable lesson that she had a deep need to control everything about her man. She wanted to take care of him and do everything for him, that's how her love expresses itself. It is also her defense mechanism, because if he can't survive on his own, he can't live without her. In the end, she was essentially telling him that he was an idiot. She acted like she didn't think he was competent to do the finances, arrange their schedules, make plans and reservations, book airline tickets, and she even told him how to do his job at work. He just needed to escape I think, to walk on his own legs for a change. It's also really sad that he never gave her any signs of discontent. Or what is more likely, he did and she never listened to him. They used to fight all the time, so presumably he communicated his thoughts all the time. He had a strong personality, so I always thought he was the perfect man for her, one that wouldn't let her own him body and soul. So the other secret must be keeping an unemotional, perfect line of communication open, so you can see trouble on the horizon and deal with it.
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*S*--but, some sex problems are really just sex problems. BTW--if you use your "quote" capabilities I can actually see when you've replied to me. I rather rely on those buttons so I can keep track of who is responding to me on the many blogs I follow.  You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman ! Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping! And a MUST READ: [post 2294897] Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog! {=}
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*S*--but, some sex problems are really just sex problems. BTW--if you use your "quote" capabilities I can actually see when you've replied to me. I rather rely on those buttons so I can keep track of who is responding to me on the many blogs I follow. What does *S* mean?
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I'll show my ignorance... What does *S* mean? You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman ! Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping! And a MUST READ: [post 2294897] Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog! {=}
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GANIEN Did she just ask you to leave with no other guy in the picture? That's weird. There must have been some other stressful thing going on. Typically when people decide to leave you, they string you along until they're situated in their next relationship and then they dump you. You only get the plain old boot when you're causing them some kind of distress or harm. 22 years allows for a million little slices until you slowly bleed to death... Quoting you again, Sometimes those guys and their wives need to make a choice between a luxurious standard of living and a more simple life with better health. It occurs to me that we don't have to work as hard as we think we do to be successful in a marriage. Of course I say that because my ex-wife enjoyed living a lavish lifestyle and I put up with it to keep her happy. I have been at the same job since before we were married. She had a short string of crap jobs, then decided to get a Nursing degree. I worked nights in addition to my day job to get her through school. She graduated, and started making real money with real benefits. My day job has no retirement, and the pay is not that great. I have NEVER missed a paycheck though. Until recently, I have had little faith in my marketability in the work place. I took several night classes over 3 to 4 years, but never got anywhere with them. I bought a house to flip Sept. 2007, just before the bottom dropped out of the real estate market. During that time up until now, I lost my Grandmother Dec.2007, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer Jan 2008, and she died July 2009. The wife asked me to leave July 2009. During the time I was going to night school and up to now, I had little contact with her. She worked weekends to allow her home during the week to avoid child care and to be a mother to her kids. I took over with the kids when she left for work on Fri night. We both truly thought this was the best idea. She worked Night Shift Fri-Sat, and was either gone, asleep, or getting ready for work until Sunday afternoon or evening. When both kids started school, she kept the same schedule, to be there when they got home from school. While they were at school, she took tennis lessons, went to movies, shopped, and from where I sat, had a hell of a good time until the kids got home. money was always tight. We always found a way to take at least one week-long beach trip a year to a hotel, and go camping in a pop-up camper in the spring and fall. She scheduled these trips. Sometimes she would work a Sunday night, to get some mad money for the trips, or if she wanted to buy some decorating stuff for the house. I always managed the bills, and never felt I should ask her out to dinner/movies. It seemed we were always just squeaking buy. She made just a little more than I did, and complained about the amount of hours she had to work, and my dead-end job. I didn't feel it was right to go into debt just to eat out. It all boils down to me not being man enough to ask her to work more, and to save the fun stuff for me and her TOGETHER. The flip took way too long, and I spent way too much on it. We have a contract on it, but will loose about 13k, 2 years of our lives, and our marriage. Night school did allow me to win a new job with the state, including raises and retirement benefits. We were in the middle of applying for a new mortgage, and I would have been taking a temporary 7k per year pay cut. With annual raises, I would have been where I am now in a 2 to 5 years. This was March of 2007. I should've taken the job, and we wouldn't have been able to afford the expensive house she wanted. I wanted to try to keep expenses low as we were always strapped in our old house. Oh well, I wanted to make her happy... She felt that her job supplying HC for her and the kids, was stressful to her. I purchased HC through my employer for about 3 years, while she worked like an on-call type position while the kids were baby-babies. Now she works Fri-Sun nights, and extra night every weekend, to make up for the loss of my paycheck. I've gone on and on about me on your blog, but you have asked more than once, so I thought I would spill... Sorry. During me working on the flip and taking care of my mother, I was depressed, and drank too much. I would come home at 10:30, and she would not even say hello. I guess she was depressed too. Maybe she was plotting her escape. She told me in July 2007 that she had made the decision months ago, and was just waiting on the right time to tell me. She didn't want to ruin my mother's last month on Earth. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T SHE SAY WE NEED TO SERIOUSLY TALK BEFORE JULY I'll never know. Maybe I'll ask her... I would ask her questions and she replied on several occasions that 10:30 is no time to talk about our situation. So I would go th the fridge and have 2 or sometimes 4 beers, and go to sleep around 12:30. Get up at 6 and do it all again. She she says it is not another man. She doesn't love me anymore. She says even if I get another job, that there's no chance for us, and to stop talking about it. Dude, I got to get some work done before they catch me writing my life story on FriendFinder-x.
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Standard is such a demeaning term. I would like to think we are all special in our own way. But then we have to discuss Special Ed... I can't win!
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Ganien, you have a couple of attractive women posting on your blog. Maybe I should just pack up and go home. Or maybe a group thing could happen... Yeah, RIGHT!
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*S*--but, some sex problems are really just sex problems. BTW--if you use your "quote" capabilities I can actually see when you've replied to me. I rather rely on those buttons so I can keep track of who is responding to me on the many blogs I follow. I am deeply humbled and overjoyed that you keep posting on my blog, because you have so many other things you seem to be reading and responding to. So in the interest of making it easier for you to visit my blog, your wish is my command! And in response now, I don't think I've ever met someone with genuine sex problems. I've met a fair number of people with serious mental health problems, and it took me a very long time to realize it.
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As a standard (a few months ago) I could not use the respond function, but certainly could use the quote function--which is annoying and unweildy compared to the reply function, but still allows your readers to track responses. You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman ! Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping! And a MUST READ: [post 2294897] Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog! {=}
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LOL...well for many many years my husband and I have had problems with sex. He wanted it far more frequently than I did and it was a non-stop stressor on our relationship. Learning how to squirt has made a massive difference in my sexual appetite and (both of us) accepting that I really need far more variety than a monogamous sex life allows for has also made a dramatic difference. Of course, we figure this out as his body has became less needful of it.  Life's little ironies never quit!You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman ! Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping! And a MUST READ: [post 2294897] Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog! {=}
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Oh, and you are very welcome & no worries, we all are standard members from time-to-time. The fees are a bit exhorbitant, I think, but I love my gold benes! You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman ! Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping! And a MUST READ: [post 2294897] Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog! {=}
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mytbone5: Ganien, you have a couple of attractive women posting on your blog. Maybe I should just pack up and go home. Please don't leave me. Every day I really look forward to reading your posts, you're a real kindred spirit to me I think. I miss you when several days go by and I don't hear from you. I like having your advice. It's very helpful to me to have other voices apart from my own blind and selfish ones. You're sensitive, emotional, optimistic even in the face of adversity, polite, empathetic and friendly. That makes you unique amongst the men I've corresponded with on FriendFinder-x. And you're cool. Or maybe a group thing could happen... Yeah, RIGHT! I'm a terrific fan of group sex. But no one ever gets exactly what they fantasize about, do they? I'm a little tired of it, though it is still stimulating, I would really love to have it with a bunch of people I care about seeing again. The wife asked me to leave July 2009. Thanks for sharing your tale of woe with me. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to put it down in words for me. I feel nosy pressing you for details, but I like to sit and think about other people's problems. They're always so much clearer than my own. I am saddened by her horrible timing. What a blow, after you lost the other women in your life who were important to you. I imagine your ex-wife is pretty self-centered to be able to pull the rug out from under you like that. Your story is so much sadder because of the children. You're really forced to continue interacting with her. I think I have it easy by contrast, because I can pretend my ex-wife doesn't exist, and it works really well for me. Presumably you have some kind of shared custody arrangement, which is really what you had during the marriage as well since it sounds like the kids didn't see mom and dad together very often. It occurred to me, reading your story, that as men we think that it's our job to provide a comfortable living for our family. Now that I'm facing (hopefully) the prospect of doing it a second time, I'm resolved not to do the same things. Family and love come first. Somehow me and my ex-wife were fooled into thinking that having nice stuff was better than being in love. We did pretty well financially, but we were emotionally bankrupt. And of course I was morally bankrupt. Sorry to hear about the flip too. The empire happened to fall while you were busy holding up the walls. So being rid of the flip is a great opportunity for you to get a really cheap living situation, an old car that's totally paid for, and start trying to find your center. I get the idea that you've learned a lot. I've learned a lot too, and I'm going out on a limb in my relationships to establish better communication. Before I ever marry again, I'm finding someone I can argue with, even if it's emotional and we want to avoid it. I would ask her questions and she replied on several occasions that 10:30 is no time to talk about our situation. So I would go to the fridge and have 2 or sometimes 4 beers, and go to sleep around 12:30. Get up at 6 and do it all again. When your mate doesn't want to talk, they are inadvertently sending you a very strong message. Even if you're tired and have to wake up early, the opportunity to connect and negotiate is more important than sleep. It sounds to me like your ex-wife is emotionally overwhelmed by the complexity of having other people's needs and problems polluting the story of her life. She was missing from your marriage a very long time before she asked you to leave. But you're not off the hook either I think. I've slowly come to understand that half of the train wreck of our relationships is our fault, the confluence of her psychosis added to ours, that enables just the kind of fireworks that we get. That bottle is a pretty convenient demon and self-medicating during depression is really easy. I have to really watch how I use alcohol because of my racial background, us natives have a tough time with addictions. When I got depressed in my marriage, I sought out cheap meaningless sex because it was easy to tell when I was pleasing somebody, and it made me feel needed. What do you feel like you would have done differently with her? Do you ever feel like you let her hide from you so that there would be peace? Dude, I got to get some work done before they catch me writing my life story on FriendFinder-x. Please don't visit FriendFinder-x from work, I'm an IT guy and the people like me that work with you will find out all your secrets. I don't want to be part of any problems with your job. So if you have a computer at home, use it to correspond with me before you go to bed. I can wait.
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LOL...well for many many years my husband and I have had problems with sex. He wanted it far more frequently than I did and it was a non-stop stressor on our relationship. Learning how to squirt has made a massive difference in my sexual appetite and (both of us) accepting that I really need far more variety than a monogamous sex life allows for has also made a dramatic difference. Of course, we figure this out as his body has became less needful of it. Life's little ironies never quit!Unfortunately we never really came to an understanding about it, so after agonizing about it for the first five years or so, I just went out and had sex with other willing partners. And because I was always enthusiastic about doing it when she was in the mood, she was too stupid to notice anything was amiss. I didn't know you could learn how to squirt... it just seemed to me that some women who are multiorgasmic are wired to cut loose. Does it make you desire sex more? I've wondered if, after squirting, you feel pretty much tapped out, or did it just get the juices flowing?
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Oh, and I have yet to see my libido wane as I get older -- though Katie has been teaching me lately that my daily upper limit is around 4 times in a day. She wore me out last week! I find that my whole life I've been massively undersexed, and I never thought I would find my limit. But in the past month or so, Katie has completely utterly filled my cup (or perhaps, emptied my prostate ), I am much less interested in sex with anyone else, guys or girls, and I have a deep yearning to get out and do cool stuff with her. I really enjoy having sex with Katie. She is so enthusiastic and surprising in bed. Tonight she snowballed me and though I was totally not expecting it, it was really hot. She's always doing something unexpected to me, like we were at the Target in Durham and she got an Icee at the little cafe there, and when we got to the car she would suck some through the straw and give me a freezing cold blow job right there in the parking lot. Once her mouth got warmed up again, she repeated it until I came (with a couple irritating interruptions to avoid passers-by).
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Okay, yes, women can learn how to squirt, but I am still not convinced that all women can learn to squirt and I gush more than really squirt. Here is a post on how it works for me. Women are all different, of course, and some squirt with climax. I do not. I squirt when I am very turned on, and when my husband stimulates me just right, alongside the squirt, it can feel much like a climax, but they are separate phenomena for me. Squirty update You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman ! Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping! And a MUST READ: [post 2294897] Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog! {=}
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G-Man So being rid of the flip is a great opportunity for you to get a really cheap living situation, an old car that's totally paid for, and start trying to find your center. I get the idea that you've learned a lot. It's difficult to live too cheap, as my wife is trying to impose her standards on me even after we split. My dad is aging, and not healthy. His house is a wreck, and I will move in with him for a while to help get his stuff straight. His house is not looking so good, and I will help and do the repairs to get it back to a good situation. It's not a dump, but the deck is old, etc... It has two extra rooms for my kids to stay in over the weekend. When your mate doesn't want to talk, they are inadvertently sending you a very strong message. Even if you're tired and have to wake up early, the opportunity to connect and negotiate is more important than sleep. Agree. But sometimes it is better to sleep on an emotional issue. It always needs to be addressed though. She was missing from your marriage a very long time before she asked you to leave. Yes. I think we both were. You were right in that we both shared the responsibility. Like I said, I should have made time for her, but she for me as well. Two way street. Sometimes one has to be the bigger person, an know the other needs support more than confrontation. When both need support, it usually ends in a split. What do you feel like you would have done differently with her? Do you ever feel like you let her hide from you so that there would be peace? I avoid conflicts as I think getting too emotional clouds the problem and hinders finding a solution. When a person is upset, I try to identify the problem and work on the solution myself. A good thing at work. Not a good idea in a relationship. I like what you said about finding someone who you could argue with. It's important to show the other person you have emotions invested too. After the cool-down, I would recommend sharing about your ignorance of their feelings, tell how you feel about it, and try to work together on the resolution.
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mytbone5, I don't have much time to respond but didn't want to leave it for a few days. I don't think it's very good to let your wife continue to direct your life after the split. She can't have the advantages of the relationship without also suffering the disadvantages, besides she really needs to find her legs in order for her to take control of her own life. Making it really easy for her isn't really helping her, and it sounds like you still love her enough that you really want to be helpful. I really had to split hard with my wife in order to keep her from drawing me back into her drama. However, you do sound like a wonderful father, so you need to keep it at that level for the sake of the children I think. The reason why I always pressed the attack even into the wee hours of the morning was, that my wife always pushed arguments to "later" and would avoid later like the plague. So there were issues we needed to discuss that took years and even decades to resolve, and the painful mess of it was killing us. In the end, I just became emotionally exhausted and ended it all. I think it's okay to argue when you're upset, as long as you don't stoop to personal attacks. Keep it on the subject and I've found that your partner can hang, even if she's upset. It's a good idea about sharing your ignorance of her feelings. I can understand women pretty well, but my ex-wife was completely unhinged from reality sometimes, she lived so much for "what other people think" that it seemed like she had no free will of her own. I've never understood that, and it's completely alien to me.
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