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Blogs > rm_ganien > A Strange Bedfellow

It's All About Remembering the Compliments  

rm_ganien 51M
1237 posts
10/12/2011 9:01 pm
It's All About Remembering the Compliments
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rm_kelidgh 61F
15971 posts
10/13/2011 5:45 am

 My parents were similar - creating that endless loop that makes you think it's never enough. It wasn't until I heard from others just what they thought. And made it a point in my life to learn to compliment honestly .. not those "ooh you are great" things but real and hopefully meaningful ones.

And as far as critical goes - I am better - but still no matter how "harsh' I may seem to some, what many don't realize is that I set my own standards far higher and stricter than I do for any I encounter.

*sigh* It's always something to discover and learn from and rework isn't it?

~ [blog kelidgh]~ I am, indeed


rm_ganien 51M
1052 posts
10/13/2011 10:14 am
    Quoting rm_kelidgh:
    My parents were similar - creating that endless loop that makes you think it's never enough. It wasn't until I heard from others just what they thought. And made it a point in my life to learn to compliment honestly .. not those "ooh you are great" things but real and hopefully meaningful ones.

    And as far as critical goes - I am better - but still no matter how "harsh' I may seem to some, what many don't realize is that I set my own standards far higher and stricter than I do for any I encounter.

    *sigh* It's always something to discover and learn from and rework isn't it?
It's way too easy for me to look at something done carelessly, or a task forgotten by someone else, and to mention it to them, I suppose in the hope that they don't do it again. But it's always perceived as criticism, isn't it?

At first I figured if you see someone do it 98% right, you should praise them for it before mentioning the glaring 2% that's gone wrong, but I realized over time that 98% is a pretty high standard. Perhaps a simple majority of good will suffice, no?


39lawless 58F
6864 posts
10/14/2011 4:51 am

 When I was pregnant with my daughter, I vowed to myself that I would do things differently. And in many ways I did. But one thing that took me years (literally until she was in her teens) to undo was the one of the things that hurt so bad when I was a kid - that subtle criticism - not spoken really but there in every gesture, every sigh, every "what were you thinking?".

Much of the personal growth work I have done is to flip that and focus on all the wonderful - both of others and myself. Thankfully, I had an Aunt who was a wonderful role model for that.

Your story touched me...
Always tell the truth
Use kind words
Keep your promises
Giggle and laugh
Be positive
Love one another
Always be grateful
Forgiveness is mandatory
Try new things
Say please and thank you
Say your prayers
Smile

~Author unknown


mytbone5 58M
1503 posts
11/7/2011 8:45 pm

 I put my soul into where I work. I would work extra before taking some days off to make sure there was plenty of stock, or that people working there would have plenty to do while I was gone. I swear I would get there at 3 in the morning and work until 8 at night for the week before i would be off jusst to make sure things would go smoothly while I was gone.

It was like that was to be expected... Not 1 thank you. And they would take away the same amout of vacation hours away as if I had done nothing.

I realize what a push-over I was. But now I know that others that did the same thing as I received the same treatment I did. I know it's weird, because I'm not their biss, and some may even make more than me, but I thank them for completing some task, or writing a software fix when I come to them with a problem.

Rhe cool thing is, that they have started thanking me for what I do! EVEN MY BOSSES SAY THANKS ONCE IN A WHILE.

Well. It was a while ago when I read your post. But I think that if I remember correctly, you might call your sister, and tell her thank you. For staying behind. And that you love her. Nobody can hear that enough.

Tbone.


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