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| Blogs > rm_RebelRainbow > To the best of my recollection |
Love at a distance
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Love at a distance I was writing a response to one of [blog 05realman21] blog posts this morning and kind of got carried away. I know, don't I always. I do tend to ramble on a bit. But apparently I really had something to say on the topic, so I cut most of what I'd typed and dropped it over here to finish off rambling. ^_^ This is going to come off harsh in places. It will come off a lot harsher now that it isn't on someone else's blog. ^_^ Long distance relationships can work just fine. The main reason LDRs fail is jealousy over time not shared and disinterest caused by not having been in anything more than lust to begin with. Both ends of that are pretty easily remedied by someone prepared to be an adult. Mine works incredibly well. I see David maybe one weekend a month. Maybe. Over the summer I expect not to see him for about 3 months. When we first got together I didn't see him for more than a year. I talk to him on the phone every other night. We send emails back and forth and catch up on Facebook. And when I do see him that time is incredibly intimate BECAUSE we haven't seen one another for days, weeks or months. You want to spend every waking moment with the person you love, right? Me, too. How in the hell is that their fault? Love them no matter where they are, try to spend as much time with them as you can and accept that you can't always be together. If you can't handle that, take some personal responsibility for it. This has to be something you want for it to work, and you have to want it more than an instant gratification ego stroke. I might mention that I had the option to move in with David in Austin. Then I could spend all the time in the world with him. And be distracting as hell while he finishes his degree program at UT. How stupid and selfish would that make me? If I really love him, why would I do that? Why wouldn't I give him the time he needs to do important things with his life? It's his friggin' book...I don't have to have my name on every page. He could have demanded I move in with him. Curled up to me late at night he's broken down to say that he really wishes I would. But in the same breath he'll come to the conclusion that I have my own story to write as well. For my part, I try to write him in as often as I can. He's got a best actor credit coming for his role in my life. ^_^ It's also important to separate the emotional end of a relationship from the sexual end. David and I both have<b> sexual needs </font></b>'cause we're human. That doesn't have a blessed thing to do with love. Would I rather be with David than someone else? Damn right. But that doesn't stop either of us from occasionally needing the comfort of someones arms. Would you want a loved one to have any discomfort if it was preventable? What about if sex with someone else was involved? If you answered that two different ways, take a moment to consider that you might have some personal growth issues regarding sexuality to work through. And if they find other love? Great. As a minor American poet once wrote, "What's your man got to do with me?". ;P It doesn't affect our emotional connection that David is still in love with his old high school flame (Lizzy...who's a lesbian...and loves him still, too). That has nothing to do with how much David loves me, or how much I love him. The same is true of my feelings for a certain lady when David and I first met. As long as our emotional relationships are happy, healthy and not interfering in our mutual connection there is no problem. We're going to be making friends, meeting loved ones, engaging in intimacy and having time together and apart for the rest of our lives. We'll always be in love, because we're always focused on our love for each other and our mutual growth as opposed to our egos. 'kay. The bi guy is done ranting for the moment. You can break cover. ^_^ Does the phrase "plug [blog RebelRainbow]" sound odd to anybody else? |
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6/10/2009 11:34 am |
I like your attitiude about relationships. I have no problem with guys seeing others as long as they're not lying about it and sneaking around. In a long distance relationship I kind of assume they are. It's not getting what you want...it's wanting what you've got. [post 1934719]
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Honesty and communication are always key in creating and maintaining a good relationship...no matter what the level of that relationship is or who it's with. Friends, family, lovers, sex partners and most of all yourself. We had some initial feeling out troubles...he was afraid I'd be jealous if he told me he was with another guy, and so he was really hesitant about telling me at first. It amuses me no end that lots of our stories seem to devolve down to "you weren't there and I was kind of horny, and the most awful thing happened". He's got a bathhouse story that had us both laughing until we cried. We both go looking less than we used to, although I encouraged him to go hunting Euro-tail on his recent trip to Italy. Does the phrase "plug [blog RebelRainbow]" sound odd to anybody else?
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I agree with you rebel, It can work, people just judge too quickly and bring all the negative aspects in play, a very good read, cheers bro      Is life getting you down? Then Come to My Blog!  [blog 05realman21] You will leave with a smile! Check out my profile to find out what a REALman is like! Click here! Join my alien group and get a free anal probe from Splurgee! Click here! Realman & Splurgee Agony Aunts
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