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What is good sex blog?  

bob0198164164 46M
3 posts
10/24/2009 2:15 am
What is good sex blog?


I have a deeply neurotic and fundamentally unhealthy relationship to blogs. I belong to a transitional technological demographic and while I read blogs voraciously for work, every click holds the possibility of sending me reeling into a fit of informational inadequacy. To top it all off, reading, writing and thinking about sex is work so virtually the only fun thing left for me about sex is actually having it. So in the end, I’m not really sure that I want more sex blogs as much as I might like more blogging about sex. But Susannah’s post made me realize that I haven’t thought much about what I’d actually want from a better sex blog.

A better sex blog would incite action.
We aren’t a nation that is mobilized by sex (full disclosure: I’m writing this from Canada, so I’m not actually part of your nation, even though you wouldn’t know it to turn on the TV up here). Individually, yes, we are often mobilized by sex, but when it comes to protecting our own sexual rights, let alone the sexual rights of others, we fail miserably. It would be nice if a sex blog were able to rouse us to a little more action than dropping our pants.

A better sex blog would be less cool.
I find it difficult to deal with how cool so many sex<b> writers </font></b>appear to be. With very few exceptions, the sex bloggers and<b> writers </font></b>I have met in person have been kind, more than a little geeky, and self effacing. But their online personas come across as too-cool-for-school and distant. Sex isn’t distant, or at least it shouldn’t be and if you’re want to say something, make it from the heart, not a PR handbook.

A better sex blog would reveal something about the reader and the blogger.
So many sex blogs offer blow by blow accounts of the supposed sex lives of their authors. It doesn’t take long to tire of this stuff. I want a sex blog that reveals something personal and ties it to experience we can all relate to. We are terribly isolated sexually, and what we need is more reminders of what we share.

A better sex blog would be about everything, just like sex.
We have faithfully replicated online the myriad ways, both individual and systemic, we compartmentalize sex in our daily lives. Sex blogs provide an opportunity to stop all this sexual segregation. It’s true that the way you have sex says a lot about your sexuality, but so might other things, like the way you vote, or deal with a minor traffic accident, or even the death of a loved one. Surprise us by reminding us that sex is part of everything.

A better sex blog would be critical about sex.
This would be a real feat. There is so much non-pornographic sexual content out there, in print, online, on television and radio, and much of it isn’t very good. But the unwritten rule among sex-positive<b> writers </font></b>and performers is that you support the work of your colleagues uncritically. The world of sex blogs, and sex writing, needs thoughtful critique.

A better sex blog would be subversive.
To be subversive in the current climate of sex writing means to talk about bad sex, to show confusion, alienation, and fear. These aren’t things everyone could or should do in a blog, but if someone did it honestly and directly, it would be wonderful.

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