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As you are I once was....As I am you shall one day become
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As you are I once was....As I am you shall one day become Those words are perhaps some of the most ominous and honest words I have ever heard in this lifetime. "Shaper Of Dust" you might ask, what the hell does that mean? Let me digress a bit before definitions here. I've been on and off of FriendFinder-x for I guess going on about 7 years now. I've met some great people and hope to meet more, but somehow, I have changed in that time frame, perhaps irreversibly so. I'm a bit older now, though never wiser and my outlook is changing. Like everyone I have experienced great joy and sorrow in the balance of things, however there is something beyond that concept at work here. Let me explain. I have always been an extremely sexual being, in fact when I was younger, sex was so important that I felt a connection with God during copulation, seriously. I mean why wouldn't someone want to feel the presence of God all the time? It was as if my mind opened to the expanse of the ALL, if you can understand that. So, that's what I sought, as much as I could: the very essence of life as much as possible. I got good at it, very good at feeding the desire to be complete, for decades really. To top it off, back then, a body to envy, all to attract what I needed. Full of energy in the pursuit of lovely women and I had many. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about totally vacant rutting. I loved some so deeply it hurt all the time. yes. it hurt, then hurt some more. After I thought it couldn't hurt more, it just drilled into my soul. I built life after life with partners and watched each and every one come undone. It wasn't always me, it wasn't always her. Sometimes it was nobody's fault, just circumstance. Was this the way life was supposed to be? I didn't know then and I sure don't know now. What I do know is this: there is a finite quantitative limit to the amount of times a man can fall before he cries "ENOUGH". I have flown so high and like Icarus, my wings failed me, plummeting to earth so hard, I feel the crater around me. And so, here I sit, watching, but not being part. here i sit, older, my face like a beaten fighter, tough on the outside, broken in some ways on the inside. I look to the other fallen ones, they know me and I them. I say to them, struggle with this no longer. Let it come to rest in you. What matters is that which we cannot see. Feel it, because........ EVERYTHING WE MAKE EVERYTHING WE KNOW EVERYTHING WE LOVE EVERYTHING WE LIVE TODAY.... will one day be DUST so I am Shaper I am learning to create again, from that dust. It's all inside me and inside you, to do that. We all have greater power than we can ever dream of, right inside of us. Make something of it, before it's too late. Next time your in a Cemetery, remember those words: see them there on that tombstone yonder? 'AS YOU ARE NOW, I ONCE WAS' 'AS I AM NOW ONE DAY.............YOU...SHALL...BE' Maybe I'm just Shaper Of Nuts 'lol'  |
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Wow so philosophical and handsome and well endowed, a woman's dream.... thank you for sharing.
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