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| Blogs > ThomBombadil > Vs. The World. |
Hybrid Moments
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Hybrid Moments I've done many martial arts over the years, and I have learned many important lessons from them. One of them- if ever you find yourself in a situation that requires those skills, you are likely to revert back to techniques from about 2 belts prior. It makes sense- you've studied those skills more. You've drilled them over and over and over again until they've become muscle memory. New skills may not have reached that level of autonomy in your body, and aren't as readily available if called upon in a stressful situation. We revert back to what our minds and bodies know best. I suppose that's why I often find myself leaning so heavily on my sexuality when shit goes awry for me. And dear lord have I been leaning on it heavily as of late. Change places. I had the most Gilliam-esque flight yesterday. I was flying out of Greensboro, NC about mid day. I got to the airport early- I'm used to dealing with LAX, JFK, BWI, Reagan, etc, so I always get to the airport early. It was a tiny little place, with really just one long terminal. I breezed right through security, and was at my gate with about 90 minutes to spare. I sat down and got some lunch at the only bar in the terminal and waited out my flight, which was supposed to start boarding at 4.30. 4.30 came and went. No plane. Around 4.45 they changed gates on us. No word on when the plane would be in. At 5.00 we changed gates again. At 5.15 we went back to the original gate. Still no plane, still no explanation. There were only about 15 of us on this flight, but at this point there was considerable grumbling. Someone was sent over to our gate to tell us that the plane was running late. "No shit!" shouted one of the passengers. The gate agent didn't even look up. At about 5.30 the plane finally rolled up to the gate and began offloading its incoming passengers. We were very quickly boarded, being told that we were in a hurry, we were trying to turn around as fast as we could. We all were on the plane within 15 minutes of it arriving at the gate and seated. The seat. God fucking lord. I've never been on a more uncomfortable airplane seat. The seats were covered with worn vinyl, yellowish stains on all of the corners and edges. They were hard underneath, as if all the padding had simply disintegrated from years of use and never been replaced. In a regular seated position, my knees were jammed into the back of the seat in front of me. This could not have possibly gone unnoticed by the seat's occupant, and yet for some reason he continued in futility to attempt to lie his seat back throughout the flight, jamming it harder into my knees each time. In order to have some relief from this, I was forced to sit bolt upright in the narrow seat (which was practically being shared with me by the significantly<b> overweight </font></b>woman in the next seat), meaning that my elbows were nearly 2 feet above the armrests which were jammed so far into my thighs that circulation was being cut off to my feet. And to top it all off, the back of the seat ended just below my neckline, leaving my head to float in the air like a pissed off balloon. 'At least this will be a short flight', I thought to myself. 'Just wait a bit. It will be over soon.' So we waited. We waited. We waited. We waited. Finally around 6.10 one last passenger was boarded onto the tiny airplane. He was in a rush, apparently (and none of the rest of us were, even though at this point there was no way to get into to catch my connecting flight, which was scheduled to start boarding 10 minutes BEFORE my original flight was due to land), so he took the seat closest to the front door. We waited a few minutes more. At this point, the captain came over the intercom and announced that we were "off balance" and that someone would need to shift from the front 2 rows to the back of the plane. There was only one person in those rows. And did I mention that he was of vaguely middle eastern-looking descent? The flight attendant repeated this request to us. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are unbalanced, so the captain is requesting one passenger move from here"- indicating the front two rows, in which there was only one occupied seat, "to the back of the plane." No response from the section's lone inhabitant. "Just one passenger needs to move to the back of the plane for weight and balance so we can take off." Still nothing. One of the passengers a couple of rows back volunteered to move, but the flight attendant told her that she was too far back. It would have to be a passenger from one of “these two rows”. At this point she was no longer even pointing at the empty row. None of the rest of us dared say anything to the man in the front seat, as it had become super awkwardly obvious what was going on. At this point the captain (who was sitting only a few feet away with the door still open), came over the intercom to announce that if we couldn’t get the balance and weight right on this plane, we would be unable to take off. The flight attendant was looking directly at the passenger. It seems though that not even he was inclined in the moment to protest this atrocious behaviour. With a sigh he relinquished his seat and moved towards one of several empty seats near the rear. This whole affair took place over the course of less than 10 minutes. It’s about 6.20 now, and we hear the captain come in over the intercom “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience and cooperation. We are being told by the controllers in Newark that they have reached their incoming flight maximum for the hour, and we’d have to wait a few more minutes for take off. A collective sarcastic laugh rose from the cabin. A few short minutes later we finally took off. There was cabin service on this plane but because it was such a small load there was no cart. So the stewardess went row to row asking what people would like, and then rushing back up front to fetch drinks as requested. After everyone was served, she began to walk up and down the aisles carrying a can and repeating, in monotonous tone, “Cranberry juice. Cranberry juice,” like some absurdist teacher presenting the letter “C”. I think I completely zoned out at this point. I suffered through the rest of the painful journey until we finally landed in Newark, 45 minutes after my flight to LAX had departed. I was shuttled over to a new terminal and placed me on a new flight. I was placed into a middle seat waaaay back in economy. I argued that after such a long and uncomfortable delay and missed plane, they should be giving me one of the open business class seats. Ultimately I didn’t get one of them, but they did upgrade me to a economy plus aisle seat, giving me plenty of legroom and a few extra minor comforts, so I was satisfied with that. I watched 3 movies on my uneventful 5 hour flight and landed safely and exhaustedly at LAX. A girl I’m seeing picked me up and took me back to her place, a few minutes from the airport. And I fucked her. Hard. Because that’s what I know best. "Everything in moderation, including moderation" - Oscar Wilde |
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i abhor flying. but at least you had a happy ending. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Sex is a great way to address bith stress and frustration. Over a year ago, I started flying again (long boring story about why I had not been flying for a few years) and my first flight was on a plane that had non-reclinable seats and had no padding- think plastic chairs covered in vinyl. I am 5’3” and I barely had any leg room! I cannot imagine being a taller man and having to fit into that space... i had gone and done the “cheap” airline packages and my flight back was on Virgin Air. The seats in their least expensive section were so comfortable! I would only fly Virgin if I could afford it all the time. I can see why you called it “Gilliam-esque”. For those of us who were into The Flying Circus, we will always be able to describe our world a bit more colorfully and our maybe laugh at the absurd more readily... Kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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I've always had a taste for the absurd, and this flight gave me a fair amount of material. I may never get that image of the flight attendant walking the aisle mindlessly repeating "cranberry juice" out of my head. It was like some sort of dystopian dream sequence.Become a member to create a blog
