Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > KarmaBella > Love, Peace and Chicken Grease |
What a year it's been...
|
What a year it's been... My got his learners permit, so I've been pressing that imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side floorboard as well as hanging on till my knuckles turn white. Getting him through his freshman year of High School was quite a challenge, but mission accomplished. He is looking forward to starting school this week, not because of the academics, but because it's put a serious cramp in his social life. He gets his restricted license this month so I'm shopping for a "scratch & dent" truck that he can drive to school. In the last year, he has gone through so many physical changes that I've seen him grow from a boy to a man. This time last year, he was 5'7" 140lbs. Now he is 5'11" 190lbs and wears a size 12 shoe. I can't keep him in clothes that fit and the fridge never has enough food in it. My graduated from High School (with honors) in June and begins college next week. She is pursuing her nursing degree. She is such a great ; has a good head on her shoulders and she's driven and spirited (just like her mom). Two weeks after graduation she had her tonsils removed...poor baby, she had a really rough time. She turned 18 last month and she's thrilled to be "of age", but also scared to death to be headed out into the real world. As long as she still needs me, I'll be there and even when she doesn't need me anymore... I'll still be there. I've been content to just be a mom (a full time job) and I usually find the trials and tribulations of motherhood tougher than any other challenge in my life. They don't come with an instruction manual and I'm usually parenting by the seat of my pants. As for me, I reached a milestone this week. I have been on FriendFinder-x for a year now...and may I say, WHAT A YEAR IT'S BEEN!! Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined the people I'd meet, the friends I would make, or the experiences that I'd learn from. I feel I've grown as a person in so many ways. In this past year I also turned 50, another major milestone. Instead of dreading that birthday, I embraced it. I am so much wiser at 50 than I ever thought I was at 30. Here I am 20 years later with 2 beautiful , a failed marriage and a wealth of knowledge. I know who I am, where I'm going and what I want out of life. I haven't really dated (in the conventional sense) since the divorce. I still remember how it affected my brother and me when we were , every time my mom had a date. Wondering if he would treat my mother well or be nice to us and how long he'd be around. I'm not faulting my mother, I know she was just doing what she felt was best for us and hoping she'd find someone special to help her raise her . I never wanted my to ask those questions of me. I have been a hands-on, proactive parent and have always put their needs before my own. Over the past couple of years I joined a couple of the more traditional dating sites, hoping to meet someone that I could connect with. I don't run in a large social circle and I'm over the bar scene. The internet seemed to be a likely avenue to weed through all the riff-raff and find my "someone". I met several nice guys, but there was no chemistry with any of them. I couldn't figure out what the problem was or what I was doing wrong. It dawned on me that those profiles didn't really address my<b> sexual needs. </font></b>My sexuality is just as much a part of me as all the other generic questions they ask. If I can't connect with someone on a mental and physical level, then the only thing left is friendship. I stumbled upon FriendFinder-x quite by accident while surfing the WWW. I thought "what the hell?" and the rest is history. Little did I know that the cycle of riff-raff was about to take on a whole new meaning. I've never seen so much bullshit in my entire life. I've been cyber-stalked, insulted and even been groped on the first meeting... a BIG NO-NO in my book. I've had over 42,000 views and more than a thousand emails during that time. In the beginning, it was overwhelming trying to sort the players from the married guys. Speaking of married guys; at first I thought that seemed to be a logical avenue for me. I wasn't ready to bring men around my and the single guys demanded too much of my time. Married guys will give me a few hours of their time, all while checking their phone to see if the wife was looking for them. Secret codes and precision schedules seem to be typical. It sucks and I'm sick of it. As I've traveled down this path, I've come to the realization that I am ready to begin a new chapter in my life. I'm tired of settling for less than I deserve. In closing out this segment of Random Thoughts, I'd just like to say to all those guys I've had to block... Grow up and treat women with respect. Just because your last bimbo liked to be humiliated and spanked, doesn't mean that all women do. As for all you married guys out there... It's been real, but if you want to be with me, come see me when your divorce is final. And last, but not least... To all the young guys out there that treated me like a queen... your Momma raised you well. I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. ~~~~Lucille Ball |
Become a member to create a blog
