5715 posts 3/9/2008 11:01 am
Last Read:
3/12/2008 8:32 am
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Oompa Loompa
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Last Friday my fiancé and I were out on our date singing some karaoke and there was this girl who came in. She had a hot pink shirt on, black<b> spandex </font></b>pants with different colored flowers. She had on a combat boot type shoes. She was everywhere talking to everyone and we thought she had a screw loose. It was her time to sing and it was the funniest damned thing we had ever seen. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. It was that bad. Now anyone who has the balls to get up and sing has my respect, but her singing was definitely one of those acts where it’s best to just go out and smoke a cigarette just so you would not have to endure that type of performance. She told me that she was going through a divorce and she had let this family live with her and they were meth addicts and they robbed her blind and they left her with only three set of clothes and that was the reason she was dressed that way.
On Saturdays we take our to sing karaoke at this little café in town. We have a group of friends we consider family that gathers together for a night of singing, joking, and laughing. I guess there are about twenty of us. The week before one if the guys in our group, John, brought his friend, I’ll call JJ. He is married, but I had not met his wife. My told me she saw John and JJ at McDonalds a couple of days ago and she met JJ’s wife.
Last night John and JJ show up and tagging along was JJ’s wife, I’ll call Jennifer. John and JJ sat down and didn’t leave a space for Jennifer to sit down and I was dogging JJ for being an ass about his wife. I invited her to sit next to me and started a conversation. I said, “I know you from some where. Where do I know you from?” She answered, “The bowling alley.” It clicked and I realized that Jennifer was this crazy chick who woke the dead when she sang last week.
The DJ called her up to sing and I grabbed my fiancés hand and told him we needed to go out and smoke a cigarette, he doesn’t smoke, but he chews. Soon we were followed by two people in our group, John and Teri. Teri, who does not smoke asked me for a cigarette, she needed it after hearing Jennifer sing. I laughed and told her, “I know. She was at the bowling alley last week and I laughed so hard while she sang.”
“Where did you see her at? And when?”
“Last week she was singing karaoke at the bowling alley.” I answered.
“She told JJ that she went to work on Thursday and was invited to a party in the next town over after work and she didn’t have access to a phone to call. She didn’t return home till Sunday because no one came back to get her till then.”
“Oh shit!” I said. “I didn’t know.” I was stammering at this time, because I knew JJ was going to be hurt by the information that I had.
“He needs to know this! He’s buying her story.”
By this time John goes inside and tells JJ the information I had provided. As Teri, my fiancé and I were walking in my fiancé asks me, “Did you tell her about Jennifer kissing on that woman too?”
“No!” I laughed. Teri came back out the door and said, “Is there more? Tell me. He needs to know.” I gave her the other information and she strutted off and provided JJ with the new info.
Needless to say, shit hit the fan. Do you know what she was most upset about and she denied? That she kissed the other woman. Now this girl was caught in a lie and she was trying to turn the attention to me to get the pressure off her. She called me a lieing oomap loompa. She never directly said anything to me but made all sort of comments about me being a liar.
She was telling JJ that she was going to sock him in the face if he didn’t stop calling her a liar. She kept it up and kept it up. Finally, I told her, “Look you need to stop your shit. We are a family here and these are our stomping grounds. You need to fucking knock it off.”
“You tell him!” She yelled.
”Again, you need to stop your shit!”
“You tell him.” She yelled again.
“I’m telling YOU, YOU need to knock your shit off!”
She shut up, for the time being.
On another smoke break, JJ, John, Teri’s husband, me and my man and a few other people were out side and she walked out. I looked her in the eyes and sang, “Oompa loompa ompadee doo.” I thought John was going to shit himself. I told my daughters to go into the café. Then I told her, “You were at the bowling alley last week.”
“I may have been, but I didn’t fuckin kiss a woman, I’m not a lesbian!”
Anyway, more drama. Teri said, “I’m going inside before I hit someone in the face.” Jennifer says, “I’m gonna call the cops she just threatened to hit a pregnant woman.”
I piped up and said, “Good call the cops, because I’ll tell them that you were threatening to sock JJ in the face.”
I guess it boils down to her being schizophrenic and bi-polar. But damn she was like a bad case of gas. She would not leave. She must have made a hundred phone calls, but no one would come and pick her up. I wonder why? LMAO
Thought for the day
“Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any”
~~Unknown
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DustStormDiva 
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6852 posts 3/9/2008 1:06 pm |
Quoting spunky11961:
wow, that's the kinda person ya drive a hundred miles outt your way to avoid
~jeff
No shit! She was a trip, a BAD trip! LOL
DustStormDiva
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6852 posts 3/9/2008 1:08 pm |
I agree with the wolf thing. And Yes, I have been singing oompa loompa all day. I just wish I would have told her, "I may be an oompa loompa, but I don't lie."
DustStormDiva
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33758 posts 3/11/2008 9:51 am |
I just feel sorry for that girlie.. I wouldnt wanna hang out with the likes of her though 
~ The New & Improved Cocksucker ~
 
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6852 posts 3/12/2008 8:32 am |
Quoting bad_assed_witch:
I just feel sorry for that girlie.. I wouldnt wanna hang out with the likes of her though
I don't feel sorry for her, I believe her only illness is that she breathes my oxygen.
DustStormDiva
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