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Swinging Etiquette
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Swinging Etiquette The swing community has been booming in the 2000's as more and more couples decide to relax their inhibitions and explore their sexuality. However, as with all social experiences, there are some definite DO's and DON'TS. A little common courtesy goes a long way to smoothing what can be, at times, (especially for beginners) a slightly awkward experience. All of us want to be successful as swingers. It doesn't matter how often, with whom, where, or in what style we swing. One of the nicest things about our lifestyle is that most of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness, and common courtesy; just as we ourselves wish to be treated. Think C.S.A.S.C. (Common Sense and Social Courtesy). If you employ the following suggestions or adapt them to your own situation, you should become a welcome participant. BE YOURSELF People are interested in YOU, so relax and be yourself. This doesn't mean you should be a jerk and disrespect others, it means you should "let your hair down." Also, whether or not you're interested in swinging with someone or a couple in particular, remember to always be polite. You may have other things in common and develop quite a friendship despite your initial reaction. In swinging, as in the rest of life, our relationships can change with people over time and through them you might meet someone with whom you wish to be intimate. BE COURTEOUS The lifestyle can raise certain, valid insecurities, uncertainties and fears. You're not always going to find people that share the exact same views that you do. Always try to be aware of other people's comfort levels, especially your partner. In a group party situation, a friendly "hello" can work wonders to ease someone's discomfort, and if you find that your interests are in different directions, or any attractions aren't mutual, remember to remain polite, as you would certainly wish to be treated. When meeting a potential swing partner one-on-one (or twn-two, or twn-one as the case may be) the same applies: be polite, even if you don't think there's any potential for intimacy, you could still have a great time anyways. Keep an open mind. RESPECT OTHERS FEELINGS Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things. DON'T PUSH Remember, "no" means "no." Anyone has the right to refuse your advances as you have the right to refuse theirs. Don't expect or ask for any explanation, in this lifestyle an initial "no" will seldom change to "yes" no matter how much persuasion you apply. Not everyone will match perfectly and an improperly handled situation can result in hurt feelings. If there's someone that you would like to swing with, let them know in a friendly manner and accept their response -- whatever it may be. If they change their mind, they'll let you know. PRACTICE SAFE SEX Practicing<b> safe sex </font></b>is, of course, a person's choice. But it's a very important choice -- this is the 2000's after all. Anyone's decision to use condoms should be politely accepted. Anyone not willing to accept this decision is acting irresponsibly and disrespectfully. If someone's willing to be intimate with you, you owe them the simple courtesy of respecting their comfort level. RESPOND TO ALL INVITATIONS RSVP means please reply to the invitation. It does NOT mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond, PERIOD. Good etiquette and good social courtesy DEMAND you respond, by either calling or writing to say yes OR no. NEVER ARRIVE EMPTY HANDED When you go to someone's home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple, a house- gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.) GO PREPARED Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc.. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities. CLEANLINESS Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or foal breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. It is amazing what time to drive somewhere, stop for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather UNDO. ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want. HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO One of the basic etiquette's in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No". Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, can however lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you". Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain. ALCOHOL OR DRUGS Most of us do not use DRUGs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle. CALL TO SAY THANKS Most people only use the telephone if they are going to go somewhere. Lost seems to the social ambiance of a 'Thank You Note' or phone call to someone whose hospitality you enjoyed. It means a lot to most people, and they will surely remember you when planning their next event. Don't you like to be thanked? ENJOY YOURSELF!! Swinging is about having a good time. Live some fantasies, explore your sexuality and enjoy! This lifestyle has plenty to offer with clothes on as well as off. Approach it with a positive attitude and a sense of humor. |
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