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Challenge Yourself To Control How You Respond  

sexyldy1000 68F  
10180 posts
8/30/2021 1:24 pm
Challenge Yourself To Control How You Respond




How you react and recover from challenges and difficulties is a choice.

Yesterday, I received shocking, unexpected news that no parent ever wants to hear.

After gut-wrenching soul searching, trying to make sense of what happened, a good cry and a sleepless night, I got up this morning accepting I am not responsible for my 's choices. I always told them, once they step outside the front door, they decide what path they will take. My fervent wish was they would align with my beliefs.

I also acknowledge there is nothing I could have done to change the news. Nor can I change the future. I can only find a way to deal with it. I have to.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/30/2021 1:31 pm

[image]

When you can't control what's happening, how do you react?


p1947q 77M  
140 posts
8/30/2021 2:03 pm

I get my spirituality from my twelve step program and there is a sentence in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that helps me a lot "Absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake". And I do know that I cannot control what happens but I can control my response. The eleventh step - "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for me ant the power to carry that out". And your blogs over the past few days have me being very reflective - Thank You for that


1seeking1 58F
3767 posts
8/30/2021 2:07 pm

Yes it is a great power not always easy to tap into it, especially in the heat of the moment. I need to practice that power more. I hope whatever it is gets better soon.


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
8/30/2021 2:29 pm

Though no parent myself, I can only imagine how difficult it is to see your children make choices you wouldn't make. But we need to also accept the choices we made when we were children that our parents didn't approve of!
When you're not in control, it's best to acknowledge that situation. And just to be there!


ltrskr 75M

8/30/2021 2:35 pm

Good luck and God Bless,
Unfortunately there are those times when our world disappears into what seems to be no path to follow.........
Hope this helps......


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
8/30/2021 2:41 pm

I am so sorry to hear you got some shocking news yesterday. And your so right we can't control what our children do once they leave our homes. We can only hope they make the best choices and support them the best way we can.

I hope things get better and I hope things work out with your children.

And try to enjoy your evening and get some rest..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


shoot_blanks 81M

8/30/2021 2:52 pm

You cannot live life for your child; Once they are adults, they should lead their own lives.
I had prostate cancer 19 years ago; my uncle had prostate cancer; therefore prostate cancer is in my family and my male sons, grandsons, great-grandsons, ... are susceptible to prostate cancer. My son now has prostate cancer. We discussed it and I advised having surgery as I did. He discussed it with his doctors and elected to have radiation treatments (they start next week). He is 50+ years of age and this was his decision. I was very proud of him when he informed that he had already discussed it with his son.


TB5758 65M/67F  
577 posts
8/30/2021 2:55 pm

I do not know what it was specifically but I understand and have been there. I agree with your assessment and hope everything works out especially for you. I hope you find peace and happiness as kids can and will break your heart lots of times.

Warm Regards,

Tom


lonlyforlove2 81M  
32704 posts
8/30/2021 3:17 pm

As a parent Of 4 girls, I have been very lucky. Life can be unexpected, one never knows just what is around the next turn, word or action.
Thought are with you in this trying time.

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


Paulxx001 67M
22642 posts
8/30/2021 3:46 pm

I hope things turn out and resolve themselves for your children and you.
Lack of control is a frustrating feeling.


mufdiver69er2 63M  
1953 posts
8/30/2021 4:30 pm

as you can see by all these responses,as parents we all ..get that..and feel ya..hang in there...

woop woop


1salesman3 69M
7623 posts
8/30/2021 7:28 pm

One can do so much then it is in others hands and choices


jajo696 113F
4287 posts
8/31/2021 1:15 am

i try to look for the silver lining.....its not always readily revealed and sometimes you have to conjour it up. With all the losses i have had to manage, if i didnt....i wouldnt be here on earth.
I wish you well ....on that journey ~~ Huggssss


easyrider4008 67M
2562 posts
8/31/2021 2:46 am

I guess in that situation you can only be there for them, I hope it can be resolved.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 8:54 am

    Quoting p1947q:
    I get my spirituality from my twelve step program and there is a sentence in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that helps me a lot "Absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake". And I do know that I cannot control what happens but I can control my response. The eleventh step - "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for me ant the power to carry that out". And your blogs over the past few days have me being very reflective - Thank You for that
Thank you for sharing references from the twelve-step program. It's important that we define our own spirituality. I do appreciate you stating that my blogs have triggered your time of reflection. Support from others is healing.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:13 am

    Quoting 1seeking1:
    Yes it is a great power not always easy to tap into it, especially in the heat of the moment. I need to practice that power more. I hope whatever it is gets better soon.
You are right, harnessing power is not always easy. Thank you for your kind words. I do appreciate them.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:16 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    Though no parent myself, I can only imagine how difficult it is to see your children make choices you wouldn't make. But we need to also accept the choices we made when we were children that our parents didn't approve of!
    When you're not in control, it's best to acknowledge that situation. And just to be there!
When you're not in control, it's best to acknowledge that situation.
-yes that's exactly what I had to come to terms with.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:17 am

    Quoting ltrskr:
    Good luck and God Bless,
    Unfortunately there are those times when our world disappears into what seems to be no path to follow.........
    Hope this helps......
Thank you for sharing those powerful words. They are very familiar to me and I have a wallet-size card with them that I carry with me. Your thoughtfulness is appreciated.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:19 am

    Quoting  :

Your summation is accurate. The situation is one that I don't know if I will ever be able to talk to someone else about. My daughter and I are drawing strength from one another. Thank you for stopping by.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:27 am

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    I am so sorry to hear you got some shocking news yesterday. And your so right we can't control what our children do once they leave our homes. We can only hope they make the best choices and support them the best way we can.

    I hope things get better and I hope things work out with your children.

    And try to enjoy your evening and get some rest..
I think you know me well enough to know I did not post this to garner empathy. I wanted to hear how others deal with situations when they can't control the outcome. The support and kind words have meant a lot to me.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:34 am

    Quoting shoot_blanks:
    You cannot live life for your child; Once they are adults, they should lead their own lives.
    I had prostate cancer 19 years ago; my uncle had prostate cancer; therefore prostate cancer is in my family and my male sons, grandsons, great-grandsons, ... are susceptible to prostate cancer. My son now has prostate cancer. We discussed it and I advised having surgery as I did. He discussed it with his doctors and elected to have radiation treatments (they start next week). He is 50+ years of age and this was his decision. I was very proud of him when he informed that he had already discussed it with his son.
You cannot live life for your child; Once they are adults, they should lead their own lives
- I agree, My son has been out of the house since he was 19 yrs old and lives over 2,000 miles away. However, the bond is unbreakable.
-Thank you for sharing your story and I wish the best for your son during his treatment.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:36 am

    Quoting TB5758:
    I do not know what it was specifically but I understand and have been there. I agree with your assessment and hope everything works out especially for you. I hope you find peace and happiness as kids can and will break your heart lots of times.

    Warm Regards,

    Tom
Thank you Tom for your kind words. What happened is life-changing. I cannot dwell on all the 'what ifs'. I can only focus on one day at a time and be strong for myself and my daughter.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:42 am

    Quoting lonlyforlove2:
    As a parent Of 4 girls, I have been very lucky. Life can be unexpected, one never knows just what is around the next turn, word or action.
    Thought are with you in this trying time.
Just when I thought my son was on a positive path, everything changed in a blink of an eye. His future has been changed forever. My daughter and I are leaning on each other and putting one foot in front of the other. We have it.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:44 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    I hope things turn out and resolve themselves for your children and you.
    Lack of control is a frustrating feeling.
Sadly, there is no resolution, only consequences. This is life-changing for him, his sister and me.


sexyldy1000 68F  
9607 posts
8/31/2021 9:45 am

    Quoting mufdiver69er2:
    as you can see by all these responses,as parents we all ..get that..and feel ya..hang in there...
The kind words and support mean a lot to me. Thank you.


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