Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > aascrompn > The Shit I Say |
Baggage
|
Baggage Do you bring anything into your relationship, stemming from previous relationships? I'm not disappointed in the decions that I've made with my former partners. I've blogged about this before, but I truly think that we all learn something from our relationships. Because of my ex-fiance, however, I've noted many things that I cannot stand. I can't stand arguments. I can't stand silence. I can't stand non-accountability. I understand that people argue, but because of my relaltionship with her, I try at all times to avoid conflict. To me an argument means an automatic separation. She would leave home and not come back for days. So, instinctively, I try my best to avoid arguments. I remember sitting in the living room with the TV on, and not even watching it. I would be looking out the window to see if she was coming down the stairs... This would go on all day for an entire weekend. I would call in sick to work... Silence to me is absolute torture. She would not pick her phone up. She would not ever call to tell me where she was. She would just plain ignore me. I think this is the worst thing anybody can do to another. When it happens, it made me feel worthless. It made me feel like I was a bad person. I think I bring this to current relationships. Although I think I've grown in many aspects, these things still haunt me. I know that I've gotten better, and I realize that every person is different, but it's still hard going through these moments... The best thing that I can say is that I'm in a good place with myself right now. I realize that no matter what happens with my Sweetie Cakes and I, I'm happy with myself. Today, I went to check out my house. I picked up my best friend, [blog freshmoe], and we made a day of it. We went to the hardware store afterward and I'm already picking out my paint. We went to get some lunch, then headed back to his house, where his neighbor came over and we all chatted for an hour or so. The cool part is that I didn't want to go home. I wanted to just hang out and continue having fun. This is a first time in a very, very long time that I've felt this. Usually, the further from home I am, the more insecure I get. It's been an entire month now that I've been doing better. I, w/out the doc's consent, have cut my med dosage in half. I'm not sure why, but I'm doing absolutely incredible. Sure, I think a part of it is that I've been trying to work on a relationship, and that I have her to think about, but I also know that it's really me and the changes that I've made that is paying off. What is your baggage? Do you carry it forward? ~ AAS |
||||
|
A few thoughts... 1. Tell that best friend of yours I miss him and if he doesnt turn his IM on soon, I will have to resort to calling him and he'll never get the present I promised! 2. I love how excited you get when you talk about your new place (updated pic next time we chat please) 3. I hate silence too...It's the worst thing anyone can do to me... Yeh for you TB! Frangi x
| |||
10/29/2006 2:26 am |
Silence is not always a bad thing, sometimes, it just really is, how another deals with a situation to prevent the said arguments of which you speak .... And the meds, that is all down to you ....
| |||
|
Aw sweetie...we all carry baggage. A life without baggage would be a boring life indeed. The trick you see...is not how much baggage you carry - but how you UNPACK that baggage.  I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
| |||
10/30/2006 5:15 am |
Ahhh. Baggage..Lord knows i have my share. It makes us who we are though. I am so glad you are doing so good. I just hope you are so happy because you are finding yourself. I would hate for your new relationship not to work and you end up like you were before! Love ya, To know me is to love me.. 
| |||
10/30/2006 5:26 am |
I feel we all have baggage too. The thing is we can use it wisely or stupid. Wisely we can grow and learn from it all...stupidly, we let it hold us back from enjoying someone else or just life in general. Good to see you are doing well.
| |||
|
aascrompn replies on 10/31/2006 3:13 am: 1. You tell him! I'd rather not get in the middle of things. Umm...hate to state the obvious but how do I tell him since he is not on IM or cheching emails it seems.. I'm sorry to have even asked. Just figured I'd passed on a few (understatement) messages for you you might just remember to say "Frangi said Hi" for me. Obviously too damn hard for you... "I'd rather not get in the middle" is pretty funny coming from you... Forget I even asked.
|
Become a member to create a blog
