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Future Jelly Fucker
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Future Jelly Fucker  Teach me how to please you! 45 yr. old male seeks female I treat people right. I am nice, fun and I have a great sense of humor. It has been a while since I have done it. I take it slow when making love. Please be patient and do not criticize. I can be a fast learner. If you're wondering why this guy smells like a combination of old milk and last week's zucchini soup, it's because the last 3 women to date him used him to mop up the floor. I wonder how he likes sleeping upside down in a bucket of Glass Plus. The unfortunate truth is the closer men get to their sensitive, needy side, the further away their penis gets from a woman's fallopian and vaginal side. For example, when a woman comes home and screams "Fuck me now, you useless prick", the proper dominant male response is to immediately throw her on a bench and fuck her so hard she sprains her anus. This guy, on the other hand, would laugh nervously through his nose, wash his hands, jingle some loose dimes in his pocket, and start intricately folding his "Tuesday" Hanes briefs into Gap-like squares for proper storage. "Everything has it's proper place," he'd whimper, followed by a round of meek slap-petting of your shoulders like he was trying to wipe onions off a sandwich. It's too late for you my friend, no woman is going to teach you how to fuck at 45. You'll have better luck learning how to drive a backhoe. But alas you have just entered a welcome demographic for the RealDoll company. When you fuck jelly, it won't criticize. See the blog here: WhyWomenHateMen |
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I object. I like sensitive, and even a little bit needy occasionally, as long as it's not ALL they are. Too needy is a turn-off, but so are guys who never need you at all. For me, anyway. I think this guy could be redeemable. I don't want to be the one to do it, because I'm a giant hypocrite, but I think that if he meets a nice woman who's kind to him and builds up his confidence a bit, he'll learn not to be such a wimp. Or maybe I'm just reading too much of my own situation into this. Still funny though. Also - how do you learn if people don't criticize? I mean, they can do it nicely, but they still have to say, No, do it like this - yes? (Again with the hypocrisy - I hate criticism, even when needed. I feel like a gigantic failure.) Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself. "Be the change you want to see." HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo
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Awww, poor guy, you were pretty hard on him! LOL Still, there's something to be said for a man who can *take* a woman. I know I enjoy being taken very much  ***
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A big difference in being completely sexually inept at 17 and being completely sexually inept at 45. See the blog here: WhyWomenHateMen
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Aaaiiiieeee! NEVER admit "It has been a while since I have done it". Almost as bad as the guys on here who have handles that are some variation of "LonelyGuy".   
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I like Jelly. There are two kinds of light, the glow that illuminates & the glare that obscures. James Thurber
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6/3/2011 2:44 am |
um I really don't think you are on the right site why don't you try RSVP or you could always pay a hooker to teach you...
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um I really don't think you are on the right site why don't you try RSVP or you could always pay a hooker to teach you... See the blog here: WhyWomenHateMen
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6/3/2011 11:19 am |
wasn't being critical, just do not really think that posting this type of blog will get you very far... Did you not think a heading stating why women hate men and stereotyping all women would win you hearts? or was this blog simply to try to lure using the sympathy vote?
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wasn't being critical, just do not really think that posting this type of blog will get you very far... Did you not think a heading stating why women hate men and stereotyping all women would win you hearts? or was this blog simply to try to lure using the sympathy vote? b.) Typically I ignore things like this and move on, but have you not read the entire SECOND HALF of my post, or any other post before it, or my blog description? Or anyone else's comment? See the blog here: WhyWomenHateMen
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6/3/2011 3:30 pm |
well well well a tad touchy aren't we? (apologize in advance for the following comment but really I can't help it i can be a bit of a b^tch at times) (the comment) wasted energy on me, you should use it in the bedroom then you may not have so many problems!  at least I gave a warning... cheer up....
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well well well a tad touchy aren't we? (apologize in advance for the following comment but really I can't help it i can be a bit of a b^tch at times) (the comment) wasted energy on me, you should use it in the bedroom then you may not have so many problems! at least I gave a warning... cheer up.... See the blog here: WhyWomenHateMen
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Oh goodness. Someone else explain to her how satire works. I don't have the patience. I feel some degree of kinship with you here as I, too, do not always understand humor. As near as I can make out, this is how it works here: 1 ) Men - OTHER men - post ridiculous personal ads on the internet. 2 ) Our illustrious host finds these ads - God only knows where - and posts them here, along with mocking remarks. Bold italics = original ad. Normal text = our host's comments. 3 ) Women come here and read (the whole thing, which helps put things in context) and laugh, because we're mean, and it's funny. 4 ) Funny gets us out of our panties better than pretty much anything.* * Point 4 is a guess. I mean, it's true, it does, but I can't vouch for whether this good man has taken advantage of it or not. Hopefully this can be my good deed for the day, because I'm running a little low on karma. Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself. "Be the change you want to see." HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo
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I thought this was about jelly, FFS what kinda blog do you think your running here ! There are two kinds of light, the glow that illuminates & the glare that obscures. James Thurber
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Haha, take it, it's yours!  Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself. "Be the change you want to see." HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo
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