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If You Can Beat This...Post It.
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If You Can Beat This...Post It.  The Salad Shitter I have quite a few female friends, and consequently, I get to hear all of their worst fucking dating nightmares. Some of the shit I've heard just fucking astounds me. And I'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill "guy who has no money to pay for the date", or the "guy who throws up on a date" stories, because I think all women have had those dates. At this point, I barely register an inkling of surprise if a girl tells me a guy whipped his sorry excuse for a cock out and slapped her in the forehead 15 minutes into their first date. It almost seems de rigueur these days. Anyway, I recently got to spend a weekend hanging out with a couple female friends of mine down in San Diego. They are both single, blonde, and ridiculously hot. As usual, we all began discussing our dating lives. And believe me, these girls get asked out a lot. You'd think that any guy blessed with the opportunity to date one of these girls would make sure he played his cards right at every juncture of a date. That's what you'd think, but remember, these are the same old fucking douchebag guys we make fun of every post on this blog. Blonde A proceeded to tell me a story about a guy she had dated briefly. The guy was quirky, but lacking a better alternative, she eventually invited the guy over for dinner with her parents. Dinner was served, and everyone began chowing down. But midway through dinner, Mr. Meet The Parents gets up from the table. He grabs his bowl of salad, his fork, and heads to the bathroom. And he is gone for an extended period of time. After 10 minutes or so, he returns to the table with his empty bowl and fork. The oddity of what had transpired was obvious to everyone but the offender. He had actually elected to get up during a meal with her parents, take his salad to the bathroom as he took a shit, finished his salad while he sat in there, and returned to the table as though nothing out of the ordinary had just transpired. Un-fucking-believable. Anyway, I'm sure WWHM still gets occasional readers, so I want to hear the worst of the worst. If you can beat that, please post it in the comments. It might give me cause to come back and post more  See the blog here: WhyWomenHateMen |
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Wow, WWHM. I was expecting him to actually shit IN the salad or something. I'm actually a little disappointed. I don't date right now, so I don't have any awful-date stories (well, aside from the one exception I made in the last six months, who seemed to be either afraid or disgusted by women's genitals, and I don't even know where to start with that one) but I do have a friend that I see occasionally who managed to block up my toilet a while back. Not from salad, I assume. He came out, red-faced, and told us what happened, and me and my niece and my mom just totally lost it. We laughed until tears ran down our faces while he hid behind the couch in shame. We couldn't unblock the damn thing even though we tried for the whole evening. Then when I got up to call the plumber in the morning it had fixed itself. But he didn't believe that I hadn't had to call in the plumber, he thought I was just trying to spare his feelings, so he offered money (which I refused; I have plumbing insurance) and then when I wouldn't take that he started buying me gifts. Food and alcohol to start with, then books, and last week I got a DVD of the whole series of Ouran High School Host Club in the mail. (I'd been meaning to buy it for ages, but it's an import and not cheap.) I'm trying to figure out if I can get him to break one of the taps or spill Coke on the (ridiculous) white leather couch next. (I kid.) (Sort of.) Do not seek an external refuge, but be a light unto yourself. "Be the change you want to see." HalfNekkid Wednesday Peekaboo
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