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This could be serious
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This could be serious SO ...yesterday I write about the previous evening's insomnia, and last night I decided to take no prisoners and get all gung-ho on the whole "not being able to sleep" thing. This includes a cocktail of over-the-counter and a couple of prescription drugs at bedtime ...way too much dinner (yet another story there), and then when those didn't work out ...some more drastic measures. I didn't even screw around with trying to read. By something slightly besides random chance, I recently came across a copy of the two late-70's TV movies of "Captain America" (I'm pretty sure I've still got the 90's one on VHS somewhere). I actually remember when they came out; I went over to spend the night with another geek-friend of mine so we could watch it together. I don't remember if it was impressive to my 13 year-old brain or not, but let's just say it made an impression on my 46 year-old brain. Apparently my brain decided that if I was going to subject it to that sort of quality 70's television programming, then it was going to make sure I didn't get a good fucking nights sleep for (hmmm ...wonder what the standard punishment is for being subjected to Reb Brown's acting skills?! I may need to check with the Geneva convention on that one) ...I may not sleep for anywhere between a month to a year. Holy Crap! Kinda sad that I don't really think it makes my list of "10 worst" by even a narrow margin, but it was still pretty bad. Keanu Reeves may have a bit more acting talent than Reb Brown ...maybe. (Now I wonder if they're related) As far as the comic book goes ...it had quite a bit in common. Like oh, uhm ...the name. Oh yeah, and he had a shield too even though he never actually used it (despite being told what an awesome weapon it could be when used as boomerang). It's sort of like they wanted to make Brown "the " of the WW2 hero of the comic books ...who apparently got the name as one of ridicule for his patriotism. I really had a hard time following just what they were thinking (or smoking) when they wrote the script on the back of the bar napkin, but they never really gave anything coherent on exactly who his dad was supposed to be although when he died, the young Rogers got a condolence letter from the president ("A man I don't even know" ...no shit, he actually said that) and that despite allegedly having super-powers (without his own knowing about it) and dressing up in<b> spandex ...</font></b>people made fun of him. Boggles the mind, I know. I mean ...super powers are cool and all, but what this new guy really needs is a really rad dirt-bike with a bunch of brightly colored red white and blue fiberglass to make it look "futuristic" and a few James Bond reject gadgets like a rocker switch that can apparently make a dirt-bike muffler actually muffle when the switch is on (like anything could offset how loud that fiberglass covering was). Oh yeah ...and in order to protect your identity when you're trying to be stealthy, why don't you wear this brightly covered motorcycle outfit because nothing says camouflage quite like "Evil Knievel." Wow ...and the witty dialog: "...did you see anything out of the ordinary?" "No, nothing really comes to mind" "This is really important ...think really hard about it and imagine yourself there" "well ...now that I think about it, there WAS this highly sophisticated miniaturized camera sitting there." Yeah ...and it mostly went downhill from there. I made it all the way through that turkey, turned out the lights and after about a half hour I gave up and turned on the TV again. Time to pull out the big guns ...hard to believe I've never watched this until last night, but I brought out... -cue suspenseful music now- "Plan 9 from Outer Space" This movie has been hailed as "worst movie of all time" but honestly ..."Cap" beat it all to pieces. In fact, I can think of a few 50's sci-fi movies that were adequately worse. ...Wasn't there a tagline to the movie "Ed Wood" "Some people are born to mediocrity while other aspire to it" ...or something to that effect? (I actually got a kick out of the movie "Ed Wood" ...I suspect it may have been too close for comfort) I think I got about an hour into it before finally having enough; I'll probably see if I can get through the last 10 or 15 minutes tonight. Wow though ...talk about an all out assault; the good thing about these movies is that at least they make you feel somewhat superior. I'm pretty sure that my muttifer could have written a better script, although I think Wood should have stuck with "Graverobbers from Outer Space" as the title. I guess we'll see what tonight brings. Ouch ...nasty clouds moving in, so I think I'd better get a walk in while the gettin's good! |
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