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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
Pretty? Or Pretty Smart?
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Pretty? Or Pretty Smart? I came across an interesting comment left on one of my older posts this afternoon. A gent by the name of topshelf69x2 addressed the following question to me: ...It has been proven that attractive people often are promoted faster, earn more money and tend to have an easier road in life versus a marginally attractive person, sometimes even overlooking the marginally attractive persons' better education, experience and can do attitude. This being said, are we (society) to blame for perpetuating this vicious cycle? Your thoughts? And lo and behold, I now have something to post. Here's what I truly believe, and I want you to read it very carefully: I am not what most people would deem as 'attractive', at least not in the conventional sense. Have I succeeded based on my looks? I don't think so. I DO, however, firmly believe that my attitude and confidence have taken me places that my looks might not have. If you consider my intellect as well, I can be a force to be reckoned with. Put the thumbtack down- I don't need my head deflated. I'm well aware that the perceived value of my attributes largely depends on the company I keep. For instance, among MENSA members, I'd probably be asked to fetch cocktails.  So the question of whether society perpetuates a cycle of 'beauty over brains' isn't as easy to answer as one might think. In my experience, I'd have to say NO. Do you respect Paris Hilton? K-Dash and her band of misfit sisters? Do you wish to be featured on 'The Real Dingbats of Random County'? Most of my Readers would say 'No'. Use this site as an example: There are FAR more Lovely women in Blogville, but you stick to the ones who have something to say, don't you? Perhaps because you find our intellect more arousing than our physical attributes. Uh oh- I think I dun brought it back around  .You think I'm purdy because I dun made y'all laugh. Bottom line: If I were an idiot, I don't think it would matter how nice my ass looks in fishnet. The fact is, I don't need to be pretty to get what I want. Neither does my . In fact, I place a MUCH higher value on intellect and emotional maturity than I do on long eyelashes and a perky set of knockers. The people I associate with would generally agree with me. I don't cultivate friends who place an emphasis on the physical because that's not my strong suit. MY version of society doesn't allow latitude for looks. But are my thoughts indicative of society as a whole? Dunno. You tell me. When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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I don't perceive that looks make a difference in MY workplace. For one thing, I've done rather well for myself there, and I'm, as I like to say, "average" - not gorgeous, not ugly. I had a first meet with someone a couple weeks ago, and was a little shocked when he reported that where HE works (an engineering firm), it's the beautiful blond women (who aren't always the brightest) who get promoted to be managers.   
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I think it really depends on where you are trying to go in life. If you work where you have to deal with a lot of people, you can bet that looks do somewhat factor into the equation. Some mediocre people can stray the eye from that with impeccable style and the reverse is true for the very attractive. I am fat .. .I have always been fat. I have been told most of my life that I have a pretty face. Depending on the day ... I agree. I personally think that if I were fat AND ugly life would be harder. Do I think its right? No. I have a whole laundry list of traits that I look for in other people and most of them are consistent in the dark. The most important thing you can wear is the expression on your face!   
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and as for your saying you are not "attractive" why would you say that? you have a great smile, stylish, nice hair, dont compare apples and oranges if you are remembering mean people when you were younger, everyone goes thru that, and where are those people now? when i was younger and very smart i would have give 20 IQ points for beauty now that i am older and VERY comfortable in my skin i wouldnt give those 20 IQ points away for anything, i have to say i should have been paying more attention to sentence structure and writing skills in school rather than the latest COSMO and Vogue back than     je ne regrette rien
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i dont believe that...they say that but wheres their proof? working in corporate america for a multi billion dollar company the last 30+ years i have had one, yes one pretty boss, i adored blonde hair tats...she got moved because she was TOO NICE noone ever complained about her she was adorable treated everyone fairly and respectfully, and she got promoted i hope because she was SMART even though i am sure others thought otherwise, so one pretty boss and lots of uglies so i disagree..and look at some of the CEO not good lucking though money does buy swanky suits for the men and designer things for the woman je ne regrette rien
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I have heard what the poster said somewhere before. Though I don't recall where. I can see where it could be true, I'm not going to say it is a conscious thing. However it is hard to say if it is true or not without an exact definition of what success and beauty are. Since we will all have different definitions of each.
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4/17/2012 10:38 am |
I have seen this happen too many times to count. If you have fabulous looks and you know a little about how to use them, looks can take you a long way. Beautiful women have done this since ADAM & EVE.
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Looks will only take a person so far in certain endeavors, but further in others. I think it mostly depends on the nature of the endeavors one chooses to pursue. Is there a bias against "ugly?" Sure. Nobody feels too badly about the baby crickets being fumigated, but I club one cute baby seal for its pretty white coat ... Where was I? I've never bothered pursuing pretty girls with empty heads. Maybe part of that was a lack of self-confidence. But at least an equal part was the certain knowledge that I'd want to bludgeon the beautiful empty-headed girl after about 45 minutes in her company. karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.
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Beauty does have it's perks my sweet... that being said, beauty and brains (and lots of heart) goes a lot further with me!  Thoughts from the Garden...
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1 post 4/17/2012 8:33 am |
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Interesting post ... Here's the first thing that pops into mind. Good looking people are in the eye of the beholder or whom the collective media push. Physical beauty can become stupid as soon something ugly comes out of the mouth of the 'pretty face'. Moral compass & character mean more to me than physical beauty. 'Pretty people may be given things faster but it also reinforces entitlement. Which is such the case as the Kardashians. The media is where they started & what continues to push them ... but what are they really contributing to society ? I think ugly is what ugly does. Do you have any Primal Urges ... I do, please CUMHANDLEME and explore some of my naughty and nice Primal ... Urges with me !!!
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I'll back you up on this as far as blog life goes. I've entered the blogs of several very fine looking women, saw that they could barely form a sentence, and backed away quietly rather than leave a rude comment like, "Do you expect people to actually respond to this half-assed, misspelled, inarticulate, scatter-brained post!?"
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I think that you are right, but good looking people just don't have to work as hard at it. not being good looking doesn't necessarily hold you back, it just adds a layer of difficulty. As for me, I know I'll never be pretty, conversely, I'll also never be the smartest guy in the room either. But I'm pretty darn capable, so I can do almost anything, I just won't look good doing it.  Well that's my two cents worth. Take it easy, Guns are cold. Take it easy, guns are cold. 
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My thoughts on the subject in a very few words... I enjoy looking at attractive women (attractive in my opinion, which may or may not match anyone else's thoughts on the subject) but I so much more enjoy working with... talking to... or interacting with an smart, interesting woman. And that intellect can be sexy in it's own right! You can visit my blog here FreddiesFling!
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4/16/2012 10:04 am |
I feel that it was an untenable question that was more predictable in the past. I feel that the past and the future state of our economy and the gender shift in hiring positions is changing, but will it be offset,by the fact that most new jobs hires are based on knowing someone and getting in the door? Resumes submitted to large companies are not being seen by qualifications or experiences but, data imputed and culled by key words, finding resumes that correspond to these key words. A new shift in thinking that everyone is equal is also making an impact. It also makes it hard for management and finding good managers in the future. There are so many factors, I only mention a few in trying to get an idea of the question of being attractive helps. Also making an influence is the size of the corpus collosum, ( the part of the brain between the right and left hemispheres )the genders have a biological reason for different approaches. Women can easily use both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously, thereby having the ability to be logical and even emotional. Men tend to use only one side at a time, for either logical thinking or for feeling. Both have different advantages, and sometimes a disadvantage for specific needs. Their hiring practices are different and their focus on goals are different. An underlying goal for both genders to achieve self-esteem is the same, but their priorities in achieving this is very different. Men must achieve goals independently to feel good about themselves, to feel power, competence and accomplishment. Women tend to share with others through their feelings and the quality of the relationships to feel good about themselves. You can see that both have very distinct and different advantages. I am older and feel reasonably attractive, I don't know if I am that intelligent, but I have developed a pretty good formatory apparatus. I feel blessed and also feel that I have been extremely lucky, and feel somewhat undeserving of the many opportunities that just seemed to be handed to me.It has always been that way for me, and am reminded by this by others. I don't even know why I have been successful, other than I am a very confident person.
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Well first off...YOU ARE VERY!!! ATTRACTIVE. Add to that that you are bright, witty and intelligent. And that makes a very nice package. I think you are right though. I am way more attracted to a bright smart intelligent woman than the dumb blonde glitzy types. I may like to look at a perfect specimin, but a relationship would have to be with someone who has some brains...
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gottaring replies on 4/15/2012 10:12 pm: Yes and no. Good looks don't get you into college and with the herd-like atmosphere in most colleges, good looks won't get you good grades. They may land you a rich spouse, but that's about it. Wealth does beget many opportunities, though. But only if you have the brains to use that wealth properly. Ok, I'll take on that statement. Physical prowess/athleticism is often, if not always, equated to attractiveness. You say good looks don't get you into college? I give you the scholarship athlete. You say good looks don't get you good grades? I wouldn't be so sure that those scholarship athletes do all that much classwork. I seriously doubt many, if not most, of them earn the grades that keep those scholarships going. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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4/16/2012 5:34 am |
They've already done surveys that show taller men do better income-wise than shorter men. Height is one measure of attractiveness in men (maybe that's why your hubby does so well in interviews). Looks do matter, probably more so in women than men, since men are usually doing the hiring. But there has to be brains to go along with the boobs. I've also read that you can be too attractive to be taken seriously in some professions. Luckily that's something I've never had to deal with.
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Wow! I didn't think that the particular post I made would stir such quick responses. I agree with the postings, beauty is one thing; intelligence is another. They can both survive on their own; having both attributes is an asset, however intelligence is the greatest asset in my opinion. Most people (myself included) find intelligence sexy, which is music to my ears. Intelligence and a good attitude will last much longer than someones' "outer beauty". Witty, funny, smart people far outnumber the Paris Hiltons of the world, and we are all beautiful.... Lets keep that momentum going. Thanks gottaring! Your members are awesome, honest and dead right.
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I would be lying if I said your bronze skin, perky nipples, and that ass didn't get my attention every time. But it's your insight, snarkiness, and open dialogue that keeps me coming back...that transcends you into the beautiful category for me.
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As much as we all might like to believe it, you know me, I have a hard time not believing scientific. They've repeated this several times and the end result is that better looking people do have a leg up. It doesn't mean that *only* attractive people get ahead, as you said there are other factors, just that attractive people have a bit of an edge. I don't know about this but I strongly suspect that if they measured it most people who picked the attractive person would squarely deny that they did it for that reason. There might be a biological reason for this. There is a certain facial symmetry that across cultures is associated with beauty. At some point in our evolutionary history this may have been a way of identifying the strongest or most genetically superior mates. This might be a vestige of that.
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i come for the sexy ass in fishnets. i stay because you touch me in the naughtiest of places in my mind. and you have a fine love of draft miller beer. wink wink.
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4/15/2012 4:25 pm |
I want to feel desirable, attractive and sexy. But I also want to wow people with my intelligence more. Not the "wow I didn't think she was smart" deal but more like the "Wow I learned something new today because of Swimmy!" deal. If that makes sense. And I tend to go for that in my partner as well. If he can't carry on a conversation with me, I don't care how he looks. Swimmy & Puppy Big News Milestone Windows to the Soul Coitus Interruptus Finding Love Here Yes, it39s possible ~Diving into the Mind~
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You may not need to be attractive, but being attractive makes it easier. This is analogous to many other things. For instance, wealth. Being wealthy makes it easier to be healthy (buying better quality food, access to better healthcare). Being wealthy makes it easier to succeed further (easier access to better education and other wealthy, influential people). Attractiveness does the same thing. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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