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Kung Fu Fighting...
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Kung Fu Fighting... This post is only viewable by FriendFinder-x members. Join FriendFinder-x now! When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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Gotta... It's been a bit since I last checked in here... been in a bit of a funk myself... but that is not for here. I read your post today and felt the need to chime in and add my two cents worth. You have every right to do and say what you did. He should have your back... that is one of the reasons people get married. He should be the one dealing with his mother or making arrangements for somebody to handle it for him! The two of you have made decisions on how to raise your kids... he should stand behind them and be able to show why he made them in the first place. It may be the beginning of the end of the marriage. I know I stayed in my own long after it had ended for all the wrong reasons... and you have a tough road ahead of you either way. I wish you much luck with you life... whether it be married or single! Freddie You can visit my blog here FreddiesFling!
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I am really sorry to read this. I have followed you for a while--and been able to glean a bit of your life. Not been around much but I am gutted at seeing this. I spent a long time living in a situation before I had my breaking point. It wasn't just about in laws when it all came down. However, an issue had arisen over the way his parents treated our child--who was the same age as his niece and nephew. They always came first--could do no wrong in the ex's parents eyes. I had finally had enough and blew up. At first ex wanted to make excuses. But he opened eyes and for the one and only time in our marriage he had my back. Most importantly, our son's. You MIL made an unforgivable and RACIST remark. Says much about her character. I think your hubby ought to have his common sense drop kicked back to his brain. The fact he cannot or will not speak up and out for you is a true test of his feeling for you. It ain;t about love. It's about respect and dignity. He isn't showing you any nor is his Mother.
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I'd be happy to take over wearing all that jewelry!!!!!
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I'm not a regular watcher, so i'm sorry to just jump in and blurt. Just had to let you know... You did the right thing. There's absolutely nothing worse than thinking that you can be bought with stuff... even if that stuff costs a lot of money, it's pure junk compared to the worth and value of a person. You were also right about if she has concerns about the kids, he's the one she should talk to. They're his kids too. and... if it helps any... do hold your ground and do not back down. None of your demands are unrealistic. They're not even blown out of proportion. He's minimizing them. Take care.  --Author Unknown
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Thoughts and prayers for you...thoughts and prayers.
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GR, I can't offer any advice, and I'm pretty sure you know in your heart what is right. It adds nothing for me to say how wrong I think your MIL and hubby are. I find it so sad that you and your husband seem to be poles apart on this issue. Please know that I will be there, in Seattle, to offer any support I can, and if you just need to vent, or whatever else - I will be there. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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Sorry to hear this happened to you. Love in a family does not come from expensive material - I think he needs to learn that. For what the hornet said - I would cut off all ties. Kids are always the priority - whatever you do make sure their future is not impacted.
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fuck it strikes in pairs. i am pretty sure that my own marriage just suffered its own death knell this week too. just have to get home and put it out of its misery. i dont understand your hubby. i really dont. i feel for you as you know i always do. be well and i will try to chat with you soon.
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I don't think I could say it any better then Softy did. If I had kids and anyone including my own parents would be to disrespect them and/or me/their mother like that it would be on. I don't blame you at all for being mad. I would have told her off right then and there. And he didn't react any better. It may have been dramatic to take everything off like that, but sometimes that is what it takes to get through to people. Only time will tell if he gets the message.
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So sorry to hear about this my friend. If your man does not have your back, things have gone a long way. I hope he surprises you. I really do! Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morning Come visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]
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I can see how the hornet gets her name now  Hubby should leave her nest once and for all.
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G. - Thoughts for you and your family during this difficult time and situation... All my best...
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Dynamite my dear...you are playing with dynamite...but then I suspect you already know that. I agree with you, by the way, but I wonder if this is something you want to be the cause of a forever breakup. You and hubby need to talk...and I do mean T.A.L.K. Set aside a day...a whole day...be by yourselves and hash it all out. Come with lists of grievences and solutions and get through it all. If you need bring along an impartial third person to referee...but don't give up. Hash it out and make it clear to him that he needs to take this seriously...then sit down and do it! Get to the root of EVERYTHING that's bugging the both of you. Don't give up or give in...talk about it...discuss and make concessions and points. Being mad and angry is one thing...but without truely giving it a good looooong discussion it is a tantrum and a terrible way to end a relationship. Put everything on the table and agree or agree to disagree but DO IT!!! Nothing less is acceptable... If that doesn't work, then at least you have tried everything and can feel you have given it your all.
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Not a lot I can add, everybody has nailed it. I was married officially for 13 years when the divorce went through. Divorce sucks, it's brutal, financially painful, emotionally painful. But I can tell you, 9 years out, I am better for it. Marriage isn't worth it when it's a sham. There's some biblical verse about how the man leaves his mother to bond with his wife. No matter the religion (or lack of), most societies feel that when the son leaves and gets married, his loyalty is to his wife, not his mother. Hubby doesn't get that. Not sure why you're staying married. I don't see any chance of rehabilitation of the marriage. Any pain from divorce will be short lived, and in the long run, it will be healthier for you and the kids. The current situation can't be healthy for them, we know it's not for you.
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6/3/2013 6:04 am |
Everything has been said. Sadly, if you don't handle this now "because of the children", I know exactly how this will turn out. Don't hold back because of the children or tradition and whatnot. I do have one idea though: LEAVE. Remove yourself from the environment.Take the children with you as well. It's summer vacation,so turn it into a trip. Tell your family what's going on and that way you can send the children to them if need be. Don't even do anything around the house for his and her benefit: no dinners,no laundry for him/her,etc. Whatever you've ever done for her,let them lapse subtly. I'll be the last person to advocate for divorce or dissolving a marriage,but seriously consider the possibility. You don't want to wake up 20 years later still defending him/the marriage, justifying your reasons for staying while being miserable and resenting the hell out of him/his family.
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We have a saying at work. Management needs to feel pain before they fix something. If you try to be part of the solution, it sometimes inhibits said solution. Sometimes you just need others to feel the pain before they get their shit together and resolve the problems they should have resolved in the first place. Good luck! And I agreed with everything you said/did. Embrace the suck
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First ... I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand the concept of marriage as a team. Second ... I'm sorry your MIL is ... the list is too long ... Third ... You seem to be a bright woman, you know how to fix this, if that is what you choose. Forth ... I hope this hatred is not voiced in front of your children. Though, they are old enough to get the idea. Fifth ... From one woman to another ... Do you have any Primal Urges ... I do, please CUMHANDLEME and explore some of my naughty and nice Primal ... Urges with me !!!
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I am shocked by the Hornet's comments! Her comments are racist! Your husband should have your back on something that involves his children. We have been behind anything our kids or grandkids want to try, from tae-kwon-doh, judo, and archery for our son...oldest daughter did track and field and "rugby" and now soccer (she has two boys in soccer) and the scariest thing for us is our middle daughter is a cop (RCMP). Having a daughter with 2 kids and her going to work every day, not knowing what will happen and if she will be home after shift is frightning. I do hope your husband comes to his senses! I am on your side 100%. I would never stand for "anyone" saying the things his mother said!
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Okay, I'll add my two cents worth. 1.Grandmothers are supposed to DOTE on their grandkids. (It's in the manual and on the test.) Therefore, her comments to you were completely out of line in addition to being racist. If she ever said those same words to an outside party, you and your kids could end up being on some government watch list. I think she says these things to you to push your buttons. 2. Your husband is also out of line--way out of line. Gifts are not payments for services rendered. They are gifts and are supposed to convey an emotional message of love, affection, fondness, etc. Money is the correct compensation for services rendered by employees. If she wants your chauffeur services then bill her and expect a cash payment. Even if you were in a position where she had "employed" you to drive her, her comments are still out of line and racist and against employment laws. 3. Your husband's failure to take your side and failure to take a stand on this issue with his mother is a serious signal that he is disengaged. We know he has been disengaged from intimacy for quite some time now, but now he has purposefully put distance between you and him in regards to this issue. You were absolutely correct to say that the expectation is for married couples to have each other's backs. 4. By his NOT taking this issue up with his mother he is silently condoning what she said to you. Completely Unacceptable. When he said that her gifts were compensation for her rudeness, he intimated that you can be bought. 3. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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he believes that the jewelry and expensive knick-knacks should compensate for having to put up with her. Um no, that's what you tell an escort, not your wife. I calmly removed my wedding rings, diamond necklace and solitaire earrings and put them on the coffee table. I told him quietly, but firmly, that my dignity and self-respect were not for sale (yes,I know it's overdramatic). *No* you were not overdramatic; stop telling yourself that! She called you a terrorist and she called *your children* HIS CHILDREN terrorists. Them's fighting words in this country these days. That's not quirky, that's verbally abusive and don't sell yourself short minimizing the insult. If this is the attitude he's carrying around, what kind of message is that sending to your kids about relationships and marriage. He seems to have forgotten this... "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall join to his wife: and they shall be one flesh" Check you inbox.
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Hugs and lots of strength to hold it together xoxo "To Be Consumed" Blog : I want to be your drug of painful withdrawals.
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She said what? He said what? Them's fighting words! Thoughts from the Garden...
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I am agast after reading these words from your mother-in-law... But for your husband to think trinkets were payment for your continued mental stress. The choice he is making is to make no choice, choose no side, bury his head in the sand. Shame on him. So Sorry  .."...and then God created the orgasm, so women can moan even when they are happy"- Tantra 
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G Ring I was happy to see that you had posted something until I read it.I am sooooo sorry the Hornet and now your husband are causing you so much pain. I sure your real friends will have your back and help you thru this rough patch in your life, Hang tough and know we are with you in spirit. Bassman
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