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Blogs > spiderj72 > Going to Hell for sure

Monday advice  

spiderj72 51M
5952 posts
2/27/2012 4:44 pm
Monday advice

So once again your Uncle spider has made his way north to his paying gig. His unpaying gig however is to supply you with the answers to your burning questions, and not that doesn't cover the burning sensation when you pee. You need doctors help for that. Anyway i stole a couple of questions from gottarings post of introduction to penises. She allowed me to poach as long as i write an epic poem and/or a dirty limerick about her. Buckle up campers here it comes.

Question 1. Its from HippieChick1967."I've ve been told that sometimes they get a speck of dust in there or something and, when peeing, it spritzes out without control, sorta like a sprinkler. I don't know if it's true, but was given this explanation when I complained to my ex about occasional pee on the bathroom floor." There have been times when the member of Uncle spider has had a memorable evening and stumbling to the toilet i start to pee without realizing my spunk has gummed up the works. Then you get the whole spray issue. However, usually there is drippage. By this i mean ladies go outside and over a bare deck or open area take your garden hose and turn it on then quickly turn it off. You will find that there are drips. You can not magically turn off a stream whether it be urine or water without those drops. So remember that the next time you curse his name.

Question 2. It comes from Penman5248."Will you still wake up with an erection if you ejaculate before you go to sleep? " First hand experience here, hell yes. I will wake up with an erection almost always. It has more to do with physiology than ejaculating. I remember reading that the human body gives you the nighttime hardons to keep blood flowing to what is essentially an internal organ on the outside of our bodies. Seems to make sense to me.

Questions 3. "Is there a term for lubing up a womans ass cheeks and then like almost titty fucking them?" Yes i believe it is called a great fucking time. However that is not what you are looking for. I believe it might be<b> frottage. </font></b>Which is french for the rubbing thing but i could be wrong. I will gladly take audience suggestions for this activity though. Sounds like bum fun without penetration.

Alright that is it for the advice today. Your beloved Uncle spider needs to get some shut eye and do a little electronic communicating.

gottaring 51F
15850 posts
2/27/2012 5:24 pm

 I just Schmoogled 'frottage'.

"Non-penetrative sex or outercourse (which includes frottage, heavy petting and mutual masturbation) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, as opposed to the penetrative aspects of those activities."

Most of the pleasure with none of the guilt. I'm gonna frottage the shit out of THAT GUY on Saturday, lol.
When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...


spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
2/27/2012 5:36 pm
    Quoting gottaring:
    I just Schmoogled 'frottage'.

    "Non-penetrative sex or outercourse (which includes frottage, heavy petting and mutual masturbation) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, as opposed to the penetrative aspects of those activities."

    Most of the pleasure with none of the guilt. I'm gonna frottage the shit out of THAT GUY on Saturday, lol.
Should i be sending out warning flares or are you just gonna spring this on him. remember that i will apply the healing salves when you come back all chafed and raw.


spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
2/27/2012 6:50 pm
    Quoting  :
i am gonna ask you for details on that one. details for sure, dirty, sexy details.


spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
2/27/2012 6:51 pm
    Quoting  :
it is amazing what my spider brain retains from a pervy young spider reading the joy of sex. damn i will take obscure sexual terms for 200 alex.


Gypsy726 60F  
459 posts
2/27/2012 7:28 pm
    Quoting gottaring:
    I just Schmoogled 'frottage'.

    "Non-penetrative sex or outercourse (which includes frottage, heavy petting and mutual masturbation) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, as opposed to the penetrative aspects of those activities."

    Most of the pleasure with none of the guilt. I'm gonna frottage the shit out of THAT GUY on Saturday, lol.
"I'm gonna frottage the shit out of THAT GUY on Saturday, lol."
LMAO!!!! I love it that is EPIC!
~ Gypsy ~


spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
2/27/2012 7:46 pm
    Quoting Gypsy726:
    "I'm gonna frottage the shit out of THAT GUY on Saturday, lol."
    LMAO!!!! I love it that is EPIC!
that is a four letter word that i would really use to describe her.


blondegirlis 56F
4497 posts
2/27/2012 10:51 pm

 A most colorful column today spidey...the things I didnt know like frottage...lol.


spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
2/28/2012 4:23 am
    Quoting blondegirlis:
    A most colorful column today spidey...the things I didnt know like frottage...lol.
you knew all about it but just didnt know what it was called.


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