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| Blogs > spiderj72 > Going to Hell for sure |
Harems
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Harems When I first started blogging one of the women I was dating off the site used to bug me about having a harem of women following me. It really did kinda piss me off that she said it like it was this awful thing. I realized that usually around here men follow women bloggers and women read men bloggers. I think it is just natural that you want a peek at what the other gender is thinking. Back to the notion of a harem though. I didn't think much of it. I did come to realize that you can love multiple people easily. That love is not like popular culture depicts it as a finite resource. Instead it is renewable and ever full. So I came to understand poly relationships a little. I followed bloggers who were in poly relationships and the pitfalls they encountered. Fiction or at least some of the fiction that I am reading seems to also be fascinated with the harem. I am not reading middle eastern mythology here either. It seems to pop up mostly in end of the world fiction or again in what I call the fiction of the rich. It seems that you need a shit tonne of money to poly. Or you need the world to be ending by zombies, or plague, or aliens or some other outside force. What seems to be missing is the average joe. But really is the average joe poly? I don't know, I would think that the fact that they were poly would exclude them from the average. That being poly is definitely not average. Are there trailer park harems? Picket fence harems? And not just guys who are dating three or four women at the same time but full out harems where the women are totally aware of the others and seem to be ok with each other. Can the average woman in todays society put aside jealousy and the notion that there is one man for one woman? I know a few that can. But could we all live together in a harem situation that is another story. |
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thanks for turning this around. I was speaking from my perspective but you are right. Why cant it be the other way around? Is it ego that keeps men jealous, is it the same notion that there is only one woman for every man that gets shoved down our throats. I have heard the argument that poly relationships are great for filling the missing needs in each partner. One listens well and one doesn't and one is great in bed and the other is loving and tender etc. Kudos to you and the four guys that you are dating. I am happy that you are getting what you need. Keep up the good work and thanks again for making me think about this.
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I have a dear friend who is searching for her triad. Everyone I talked to previously about this were women no whether that is just what happened as a fluke or guys just don't talk about it. Personally I find women can find relationships easier but that is me. If the relationship is open then men calling you greedy is just horseshit. They can go and find another and shouldn't get steamed that you do want multiples. I find the attachment thing interesting. Why are you not looking to get attached? And how does poly keep you from getting attached? I will have to skip to your blog and find out what is going on in the province next door.
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theorys are great its the real day to day that I am interested in.
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so as someone in the lifestyle let me ask you this Kinky. Do you think poly comes from people outside the lifestyle and not open partner switching? Or does it come because you are in the lifestyle and want to make something a little more permanent. I am also interested in what you consider the complexities.
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Very cool to hear about how solid your relationship is. I hear far too many people who enter the lifestyle and are not solid and it leads to problems or just highlights the problems that were already there. I wonder if the poly thing comes easier if there isn't the pre-existing family structure. If from the beginning of the relationship you came as a triad or moread. That it wasn't tacking on to a pair but instead a very organic three or more. Hmmmm more to ponder and more blogs I think coming out of this.
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I will keep muddling my way through this. hopefully some things gel and it starts to come together
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take your time darling.
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I agree whole heartedly that there needs to be some bi ness in the situation. now from what I understand finding a true bi male is like finding a unicorn so you might just en up in a FUUUUU sort of situation. Funny how every dude wants to be number one. I wonder if that is the case with the ladies? I hope you find what you are looking for.
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Your ramblings hit a lot of good points. Firstly I don't think being wealthy makes your open to poly but I wonder if it is easier not having to sweat out a 12 hour shift at the sewage plant then come home to potential chaos. I agree that there are a tonne of people out there who confuse polyamory and polyfuckery. To me one is emotional and physical and the other is purely physical. Selfishness has not place in a poly relationship I feel. It is potentially there if the third and more come in to a pre-existing couple. If you can shed that ego you might have a chance.
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and you know me I am trying really hard to wrap my head around the world of poly. I agree with you in that I see polyamory as being emotional and physical.
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two goats and a chicken, three cats and a frog. yes I can see those endless possibilities.
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its funny that the desire to be number one is inherent in both sexes. this goes to my whole idea of one person for you being driven into you by mass media. you lead an interesting life and I hope it is working for you. I like the fact that you are speaking from experience and from talking to others. more stuff to kick around in my head now.
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as someone who works shift work I know that at least in my case I get half the year off and therefore have time for relationship with folks. However I am almost useless near the end of the stretch of 12s. the only reason the wealthy thing popped into my head is because I was reading a fictional account that is laid out that way.
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