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| Blogs > WhoHendrix > A Descent Into Shenaniganry |
My Second Horrible Adult FriendFinder Experience: An Account, Part II
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My Second Horrible Adult FriendFinder Experience: An Account, Part II When last we left off in this vaguely compelling train wreck, I noted my would-be sex partner and stand-offish meet's inclination to address her phone, rather than me, in conversation. And now, the sad, sad conclusion . . . ****** This whole circumstance was really odd, because I've never met a person from FriendFinder-x in such a context that I had a clue that we/I didn't have a chance from the beginning. That's usually one of the perks of FriendFinder-x-- you see what they look like, you get to talk about the fun, sexy no-no topics AND get to know one another a little bit, so there's more up-front knowledge once you meet. The only other time it crashed and burned for me, my company was a bit into her margaritas and I think I failed to bluster appropriately when she mentioned the several AVN winners with paint-can-sized equipment that she'd taken up before . . . Now that was a meet where I wondered "How the hell did we get here?" Ironically, from a conversational standpoint, even THAT one started out with promise.  So here I am, and we've finally hit a vein of conversational relevance, chatting a bit about Maryland and the housing here and the (God-fucking-)damnable cold . . . and since she'd offered information about how much more she could get in housing in her home city, I then volunteered a little about my situation. I always prefer being upfront and direct, and I mentioned that I live in South Baltimore, where it's cheaper (well, for a reason), and that while I have a very good job, the proceeds all go to myself AND back home. Perhaps following this, it was a bad idea to, after saying that a glass of wine and a coke were still nothing and I hadn't tried to intimate otherwise . . . let her get the check.  She said that she was going to head home shortly thereafter, and at my disappointment noted "There just wasn't any chemistry." But evidently she thought I was a very nice guy (swell!) and thanked me for coming. She then mentioned giving me a hug as though it was some sort of noblesse oblige duty . . . to which I think I narrowly avoided the full intonation of "Yes, let's not forget that." After texting a friend for a couple minutes about the trainwreck I'd just navigated 40-ish miles to experience, I realized she was still in her car there. Was she afraid I'd follow her?! It's a damned odd, otherworldly sensation, the treatment of someone who just wants to get away from you. I think it felt something akin to the attitude toward an escaped mental patient . . . nobody really is in a mood to talk with you any longer, and they're disconnected entirely from anything you might try to say to them. In this case, I just had to respond to her mention of no chemistry, by noting that she didn't honestly give me a chance from when she sat down. Maybe the realization of this was the reason for the consolation hug? Perhaps I was just a boor, or maybe awkward or overly-open on a first meet? Since she'd mentioned that I looked young, was it the fact that I don't drink, or maybe the whole financial situation altogether that made me look somewhat like a . . . or was it that I wasn't one of those muscle-bound men? I was mulling this over as I missed a turn, backtracked a little and got home. You've got to wonder in a situation like this. So, an hour+ later, once home, I just HAD to check her profile. Was there any response to the utter failure of a meet reflected in her profile? I scanned it quickly, and noticed a sentence at the end. New. Bolded. " . . . handsome face, a fit & muscular build, be single, White or Asian, 6'0" or taller, between the ages of 32-44. Skilled and thick only." Oh. Odd though, because she got a couple shots of my body and my height was asked and answered. Chemistry is the physical, coupled with the interaction of two people, no? She already knew what I looked like, so I guess I just thought that part was there. Difficult to develop the interaction when it's cut off and interrupted from the start. It's damned unfortunate . . . this was my first day off in 12 days. She seemed very nice at first . . . hell, We could probably have had great sex, since she initially seemed game, likes thickness and was quite cute . . . But instead, we wasted significant portions of our day going, well, nowhere. No chemistry, I guess. But at least I got a free coke. 
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But at least I got a free coke. Snatching (a tiny) victory from the jaws of defeat. I think she could have handled this a lot better. I'ma text-a holic, but when I meet someone the first thing I do, in front of them, is to turn my phone *off*. Not vibrate, off. It's a non verbal sign to them that they have my full attention. He starts texting or takes a non-critical call, I'm gone. In a (faint) defense. I've been in the situation where I though something didn't matter but when I met the person face to face I realized how much of a deal breaker something is (are and height are two things for me I can think of). Maybe something like that happened. Maybe her idea of muscular and yours are different. And I'm not not sure how tall you are but I'm going to assume you were honest with her about your height (height is the #1 thing that men lie about. I'm 5'7" and I'll be damned how man 6 footers are only an inch or two taller than I am, lol) But like I said, even if I know right away things aren't going anywhere, courtesy costs nothing. Only other thing, you pretty much illustrated why I don't travel any farther than 15 minutes nor will I meet anyone who's traveling mre than 15 or 20 minutes to meet me. Better luck next time!
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4/21/2013 10:48 pm |
Thanks! Haha yes, I figured I could at least enjoy the irony of that minute victory. Personally (and it's worth noting that I mention this to anyone I'm about to have a friendship with), lack of consideration and respect, out of most anything, is the one provocation that will make me go batshit. I think your practice is really excellent etiquette. As for appearances, I'm 5'9", and I was honest (at least, within a fraction of an inch anyway ). I actually bolded the height and "muscular" preference in that sentence because it, and those preferences, hadn't been there before. She mentioned fit (which I am) and likened her ideal man to a particular fictional character (whom I won't name for privacy purposes) who does not at all have a bulky physique. To be fair, she mentioned that this was the first day she got back on FriendFinder-x . . . and I understand thinking one physical attribute won't be as big a deal as it is. But . . .She was looking for a 6' + man-mountain. I am average height . . . and lean. Anyway, very true, courtesy costs nothing-- and yet has great value.
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5/2/2013 2:53 pm |
Withheld for PRIVACY purposes! I'll message it to you.
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