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Blogs > whysaywhat1 > My Blog

TLDR: Loving more than one person is hard.  

whysaywhat1 43F
Ask me for a photo
69 posts
5/6/2017 10:24 pm
TLDR: Loving more than one person is hard.

How very frustrating this lifestyle can be at times. When everything is going smoothly, it's great! But, doubt can creep in so easily, especially when everyone isn't under one roof. Don't get me wrong, we wouldn't work well all in one place, but when half or more of communication is being done by text, it can feel very one sided at times, leaving one or more feeling like they aren't getting the whole story and even getting short changed in the relationship because of the lack of communication.

Communication is the key to all things in a swinger, open, poly situation, everyone involved MUST be able to communicate! There is no room for jealousy, it will always rear its ugly head and cause issues. Jealousy, for me, is the hardest part...I get jealous easily, especially if I feel I'm being misled in some way. I need to know well ahead of time what may or may not happen. If a partner is looking to add more people to the mix, especially during times that we cannot be together, fine...but I have to know about it. I have been lied to before, left wondering what I did that caused them to leave without looking back. My self worth has never been wonderful, I look to others for validation...sometimes I can't find it within myself to feel loved.

I know I can be difficult, my past has scared me more than I'd like to admit...but I know it is one of my (many) flaws. I need someone who can shelter me from my insecurities more than anything else. Most of the time, I have that, but every once in a while, against my better judgement (and even against all logic), I question how stable the love in my life really is.

Call it self-sabotaging, but sometimes I just can't help myself when things start spiraling out of my control. Why can't life stay on an even keel for once?!?

8tit4tat 58M
1 post
7/26/2017 11:18 pm

 The funny thing is that you are in no way the only one that feels that way. Reading this it actually sounds like a conservation that I have had in my head many times before.... even in regular relationships....do hang in there.....


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