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Once I was Loved
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Once I was Loved What a wonderful day, The sky a beautiful azure Not a cloud on the horizon An ocean breeze ruffled my hair My rocker the perfect place to relax To remember, to relive, to feel my heart come alive once more My eyes close The memories come flooding in There you are in front of me Your beautiful blue eyes twinkling That lopsided smile that always made my heart beat so fast. Seeing once more the golden Palace Where first we met Slowly grew to know each other The deed of good intentions Twisted into something dirty; deceitful Friendships lost and bitterness screamed No room was safe from the vitriolic tongue of the ex lover Like the phoenix rising from the embers Of pain, loss and hatred Our Love blossomed Shakily at first, So much baggage we carried between us Dragging us down mistrust and lies abounded Barriers finally broken down And hearts united in a love so sweet A token of love given An island of incredible beauty A home built together A retreat from the real world Japanese garden of tranquillity Designed by your Love, Laboured on by both of us Walks along a beach Swims in the lagoon Fed by waterfall so fresh and pure Plans for our future made Dinners for two, carefully planned Each in turn pouring for days through Cookbooks, recipes found Some familiar and loved Some exotic, steps beyond our comfort zones Using only the best ingredients Venturing into Ethnic food shops Growing so brave, we laughed like On an adventure Candles by the dozen adorned the dining Room, our bedroom, the veranda where we frolicked in the huge Jacuzzi Aromas of vanilla, Ylang ylang and Gardenia wafted Around us mesmerizing us A wood fire flickering dancing Long sensual love making Gifts of love given and treasured Oh the Gods were cruel, we were such innocents Then like a viper The illness struck me At the airport I caused a stir Collapsing in the boarding lounge So close we came so close, My ticket clutched in my hand. I was flying to you Beginning our new life On that fateful day however, the Gods Laughed upon high Ripping you from me destroying our dream Hovering between life and death Desperately trying to reach out to you You were fading no longer seen Someone thinking they knew best Destroyed what contact we had Home at last six months in a coma A further 12 months Spent in hospital in Rehabilitation having to learn who I was all over again.. Learning to walk To do the simplest of tasks I sought you out desperately Reaching out to our friends Asking, pleading for news of you Still you could not be found Finally you were there I reached out with words of love In return I was blasted, Knocked down and verbally kicked You were so cold so distant Your words scruel gone were your loving words Now there were onlybitter tongue lashings Insults so vile Rage, abuse were all that remained My heart shattered, The Chatelaine of Lemuria died In her place the cold hearted Domme bitch rose Out of the ashes of Lemuria Stalking With whip and knife, My victims were well chosen The more they begged Me not to leave them The more I loathed them, Loathed the weakness that allowed them to put up with public humiliation Friend’s pleas were not heeded Still I ran activetly seeking The path towards oblivion The path to the Abyss Where there was no pain only blackness A man kind, gentle and decent Crossed my path, He saw beneath the charade, He saw the broken woman This kind man, this quietly spoken man A man to outward appearances so weak yet in reality a man of determination and steel Showed her the way to redemption Slowly the pain lessened My heat began to mend My salvation I thought I had gained The gods had other plans A woman fighting for her man A woman trying to once again Have his love Came to me, Her pain apparent, she begged For one more chance She had made mistakes, Taken him for granted Pleading she promised to be good Be once more the woman he married She struck a deal... let him come home to her just for 3 months.. If at the end of that time he still wanted his freedom Se would no longer fight For the first time in so long she thought of others Their happiness To be kind I was cruel I ripped his heart out and left it laying on the ground Sending him back to her waiting arms I am alone, but that is not so bad Fragile still and wary Taking time to finally grow to Know the real me I was once loved by two wonderful men To experience a gift so rare Hoping one day we will be friends Holding out my hand, Hoping one day they will take it An ironic smile curves my lips realising I did too good a job of sending them away for them ever to return I was once loved In my memories I still am Living still in Lemuria Walking hand in hand in my garden of tranquility Young and beautiful if only in their eyes I sit here on the verandah of my home Siren’s Song 'dmy eyes filled with tears No do not feel sad for me, They are tears of joy Tears of fond memories For I know I was blessed, truly blessed As so few people are in this life So I sit here Remembering … Once I loved two wonderful men A man who loved me in return It does not matter IF it only lasted for 11 months Eleven months is a life time to remember The love of my life, my Soul Mate, a wild tempestuous love and a quiet gentle love no less wonderful in its simplicity 
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Thank you... the muse has been absent, but the other night she belted me over the head.. Am in the midst of two new poems Loreli
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Loreli, always remember your are loved, its all in how you accept it.
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Loreli, You are a very gifted writer. Pursue your dreams.
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