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The Brain of a Married Man
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The Brain of a Married Man I would love to be a scientist and study the brains of human beings....especially the brain of a married man. Then perhaps I could fully understand their thought processes when it comes to women who "cross paths "with them. This post obviously is directed at the married male audience but please, anyone who has any insight is more than welcome to share their opinions and views. A "married man" means that they are fully committed in mind body and soul to ONE person, correct? Their spouse. Their wife. Which to me, would mean he shares his whole life with her, with the exception of hobbies and his job. He wears a gold wedding band that she placed on his finger during the wedding vows. He promises to be true and faithful only unto her. But perhaps there are those times when he removes that ring temporarily or just doesn't wear it at all. Does he forget he is committed and married then? The sex with his wife gets boring or she isn't interested in it anymore due to middle age changes in her body OR worse, he doesn't make her feel sexy and special anymore. The flowers for no reason stop, no compliments of any kind to her, much less a pat on the fanny, a hug or kiss for no particular reason. They live like roommates; if there are involved they "co-parent" them. He gets tired of masturbating often and wants some real pussy action...and decides FriendFinder-x is the place to get it. He creates a profile, with NO picture, with NO marital status posted - sometimes though he does state he is married. And doesn't get a hell of a lot of response because if it. But sometimes hits the jackpot and finds a sexy gal who responds to him. Now the lies start to the wife. He has to work late, he has to go on a business trip for a weekend or even a week. He gets a phone call or text and he tells the wife his buddy needs help with something. He meets his "other woman" and they have amazing sex and a lot of it. The "other woman" is smitten and falling so in love with him..and he knows it. Giving her gifts and attention...on his schedule. Holidays come - and she spends them alone but he doesn't. So, after all of that....he still remains married and often breaks dates at the last minute due to a "family issue" or a "honey-do" list wife gives him that he is guilted into doing for her and the other woman is left alone with all the preparations and trouble she went to getting ready to see her married man. Does the married man's brain seriously and really think this is all okay? Does he not realize the lives he is affecting with this behavior? Or is his throbbing cock and guilty conscience leading him at the same time? I wish I could understand why, a married man would continue on in an unhappy marriage and not get a divorce to be happy? I understand about finances and how that could all be affected but does the money really mean THAT much? If he built all of that up with his wife as his partner for many years then he deserves to risk half of it. As the old saying goes "Know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it!" The other woman tries hard to end things.....and one day finally does it. But her heart is full of memories and love for her married man knowing she will hurt for a while - and he remains married, most likely moving on to his next victim. Are married men's brains really wired this way? Or have I been referring to the brain located behind his zipper that trumps all common sense? {=} {=} KCClaire0923 |
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Perhaps the reason is rooted in modern medicine... For thousands of years, we married at 13 and died by 40. Only the last 100-150 years have we started living closer to 100 years. Perhaps we humans are just not evolved to remain in that love zone for longer than we were original designed to live in the first place. This is only a Theory. It could also be that in our modern world, we have become accustomed to a steady supply of fresh new and exciting everything on a regular basis... and that is impacting our view of our partners as well. Bored with the old? Get a new one! Why wait? You deserve the best! You only live once! That's old, you want NEW! We hear it all the time. We change jobs, cars and houses every few years. We change electronics every few months. We are programming ourselves to always want that next new thrill. This is also only a theory...
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I have a soft spot for people who are considering infidelity. I've been there too, and I know how it feels. They say they're married to their best friend. I'm also married to my best friend, and that means I'm able to tell my partner when I'm not getting what I need, and since I'm his best friend, he's open to giving me the freedom to get those needs met elsewhere. I don't understand the kind of friendship that doesn't include the ability to a) be honest and b) want good things for your partner. You're right to suggest that sex often slows down because women do not feel appreciated, and thus they don't "put out" like they used to. Usually, when I suggest being honest about wanting to step out, guys say "it's never going to happen." I think that what they're really saying is that they don't want to put in the effort to build the trust and appreciation it takes to be honest.
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Perhaps the reason is rooted in modern medicine... For thousands of years, we married at 13 and died by 40. Only the last 100-150 years have we started living closer to 100 years. Perhaps we humans are just not evolved to remain in that love zone for longer than we were original designed to live in the first place. This is only a Theory. It could also be that in our modern world, we have become accustomed to a steady supply of fresh new and exciting everything on a regular basis... and that is impacting our view of our partners as well. Bored with the old? Get a new one! Why wait? You deserve the best! You only live once! That's old, you want NEW! We hear it all the time. We change jobs, cars and houses every few years. We change electronics every few months. We are programming ourselves to always want that next new thrill. This is also only a theory... Happy New Year {=} {=} KCC
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To be honest I can't speak for married men having never been there. It is obviously a convoluted situation in that sometimes one or both partners are playing outside their union. That said when it isn't acknowledged between the two and the lies & deception take over then that is a keg of dynamite waiting to explode. Unfortunately other folks get caught up in this as well....the reasons are as many as the excuses yet in the end no scientist will ever quite figure out that whole mess.....on that cheery note.... Happy New Year Ms KC
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Thank you for your comments Lynn...makes a lot of sense. People naturally do want to upgrade "things" and I understand that. But a lifetime commitment with a spouse you "love" to me is just that. I appreciate your theory though - I never thought of it the way you describe it. Maybe I am just old-fashioned in my way of thinking. I just can't turn love off and on like a faucet. I would do everything in my power to make it work - unless like in my case he was abusive physically and mentally so I walked..great gift for me too! Happy New Year {=} {=} KCC Though divorce as well, in my case, I fought so hard to make it work, despite our growing differences. Of course, NO ONE should have to tolerate physical or emotional abuse and you were right to close that chapter, but in my case, simply marrying too young in a changing world and realizing in your late 30's that you wanted different things wasn't reason enough for me to walk away. But it was for her. Holding very traditional views on love and marriage, but cut free in the first part of the 21st century, I find myself at odds with the world on relationships and becoming more and more isolated as I close in on retirement.
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2/2/2016 9:05 pm |
I've known couples where the husband liked to watch his wife in action, often taping the event to be enjoyed later. I've known couples who liked to watch each other with others. For some years, I was half of a committed couple (not married) and we liked to watch each other, then the sex between us was incredible! We had a deal, just tell the other everything and it led to some really hot sex! It is all between the two of them...
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