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The Book of the Beast  

OneStrangeBeast 52M  
2039 posts
11/10/2011 10:01 pm

Last Read:
11/13/2011 8:15 am

The Book of the Beast


The Book of the Beast: Random thing that popped into my head at 12:30 a.m. Friday, the 11th of November, 2011 Edition

I'm not a big believer in coincidence. They don't happen nearly as often as people seem to think they do. Just take the masses ability to swallow what the government tells them to believe over and over. I'm not a conspiracy theorist....you're a coincidence theorist.

I did have a particularly strange coincidence happen to me one night at a dance club in New London, Connecticut and it popped into my head a few moments ago for some reason. I've already told you, my millions of adoring fans, that even the Beast doesn't always know what makes the Beast tick. (I'm staying with the whole third person thing just to irritate Safira. Luvs yas!)
So, anyway…. I’m in this nightclub one night years ago. I was wearing a white<b> spandex </font></b>top with a half zipper down the chest. (Yes…I think I single handedly popularized those things well before Under Armour existed and everybody started wearing them)
I’m walking between the edge of the dance floor and the wall which was fairly narrow. About halfway to the bar that I was making a beeline for, I had to squeeze by a group of 4 or 5 young women, standing together and watching the dance floor. As I was passing them, one of the ladies looked at me and made some sort of loud, verbal sound as she reached up and placed both of her hands on my chest and started squeezing.
I had a few drinks in me already by this time, so I did the only rational thing. I reached up and placed both of my hands on her breasts and squeezed back. She was a bit shocked but I gave her a look that said “fair is fair”. She laughed, I laughed, we all laughed. We struck up a conversation.
I asked her name and gave her mine. Then she leans toward me because of how loud it was in there and said “What is your middle name?” That’s what I thought she had asked me at any rate. What she had actually said was “You’ll never guess my last name.”
Thinking however that she had asked for my middle name, I promptly replied “Mayo”, because that’s what my parents named me. (I’ve heard every conceivable condiment joke, so save them) Once I say “Mayo”, this young woman’s eyes bulge out of her head like she’s just had an air hose inserted into her bum. She blurts out “There’s no way you could have possibly known that!”
“Why wouldn’t I know my own name?” I shout back over the music. She gives me a weird look and says “What?”
“You asked me for my middle name and I told you, it’s Mayo!” I yell again.
She leans even closer and says “No…..my LAST NAME is Mayo!”

So, anyway……. Sort of a weird coincidence, that was. We all had a good chuckle and then spent a few more minutes feeling each other’s Chestal Regions ™.

BEAST OUT

rm__Safira 60F
11258 posts
11/11/2011 3:28 am

BEAST ~ Now that I know that "The Beast" is doing the whole third person thaing to annoy Safira, she'll ignore those portions of your posts.

Here is Your Lesson Learned for today. When you would like to reference someone in your blog posts simply do the following: open parenthesis then type the word "member" (minus the quotes), followed by a space, followed by the member's exact name, i.e., _Safira, finishing with closed parenthesis for this result -- OneStrangeBeast or _Safira. And there you have it!

I'm with you on the whole "coincidence" theory, by the way ... *chest bump*

This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me


OneStrangeBeast 52M  
2167 posts
11/11/2011 4:33 am

Safira,

Hmmmmmmm That's OK....It was becoming difficult to write that way anyway. I was getting confused about who I was talking about half the time.
Ha! Chest Bump...... It's the Chestal Region Bump (TM).
I'll try to practice that whole open parents, martian, closed paralysis or whatever you just said thingie at a later date.


OneStrangeBeast 52M  
2167 posts
11/11/2011 4:41 am

Stand back everybody! I'm about to try SCIENCE!!!!!

OneStrangeBeast

If this works, I will have created a black hole inside my very own ass and the entire planet will be sucked into my Stinky Region (TM).


rm__Safira 60F
11258 posts
11/11/2011 7:17 am

Good Gracious! I've unleashed a MONSTER!!! *laughing*

... a monster whose chest is bigger than mine. WHY am I always surrounded by folks with bigger chests than mine???

This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me


OneStrangeBeast 52M  
2167 posts
11/11/2011 9:31 am

Safira,

Maybe you should make friends with a group of anorexics. They would probably all nickname you "Big Tits McGee".


rm__Safira 60F
11258 posts
11/11/2011 10:16 pm

    Quoting OneStrangeBeast:
    Safira,

    Maybe you should make friends with a group of anorexics. They would probably all nickname you "Big Tits McGee".
You are sooooo punny!

This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me


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