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Oh My God!!!!!
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Oh My God!!!!! Before I proceed, I wish to declare that this god I refer to bears no resemblance to Allah or the Christian God or the Jewish God or the many Fortune Gods of Chinese population or for that matter, Thor, the God of Thunder and Lightning. So I implore that should anyone feel offended by this post, kindly issue a Fatwa to Salmon Rush-Die, which is my real name. Currently, my address is 11 Downing Street, but I am always over at my neighbour's place fixing her leaks. __________________________________________________________________ Oh, yes... I digress. Coming back to a serious note. I was in a pub last night with 3 awesome ladies, two gorgeous looking married women and another drop dead gorgeous China girl. The drop dead gorgeous China girl was as good as dead when she opened her mouth and spoke. Yup, total communications breakdown as she could only speak Mandarin Chinese, which totally sounded Greek to me. Although by race, I am Chinese but eons of forefathers acclimatization in this foreign land has denied me any hope of communicating with her. I truly am a Banana. Yellow on the outside but totally white on the inside A few gestures here and there resulted in miscommunications and a big tight slap ensued. Now my focused went to those delicious looking taken women. Well, at least in paper, they were taken. But if they are in the pub, it is open season to be taken again. Or at least a try. Well, here is the scenario. Seated on our round table are the three slushed ladies, moi and two other guys. One American - of boyish charm even the guys in San Francisco would want to hook up with him and One German - not the Gestapo SS clean shaven but more like Lieutenant Hubert Gruber of Allo Allo I did a quick plumbing calculation and reasoned that 3 hot slushed ladies in the presence of 3 men. I can really get lucky tonite. And if Lieutenant Gruber is very lucky and got his American toyboy, I would be even luckier. Now let's get back to the crime scene. As trained in Toast Masters Club, I machine gunned my gazes over all three ladies, spending precisely 20 seconds on each beautiful female face, 8 secs on the eyes, slowly trailing down to her lips for 5 secs and the remaining 8 secs lecherously over her ample cleavage give or take another 60 seconds, always nodding in agreement to whatever they seemed to be sharing their hearts out. After 12 minutes of the above charade, my plumbing 6th cents, (worth a penny for your thoughts), help me zero in on one luscious MILF that exhibited a lot of promise for immediate twilight action. She was unhappy. She just lost her job. Family was in financial difficulties. She needed a ......... Hero? A knight in a shining amour? A sugar daddy? A FWB to remove her stress? She wanted a GOD! If that man were to come into her life, she would treat him as her GOD. Move over, SUGARDADDIES! GODS are now the in-thing. Wow! This was going to be my lucky night, indeed. I sat erect. I tried to make myself appear taller. I swished my head like Justin Bieber with what little hair that was left on my precious crown. Indeed. I would be her GOD. And I would be lucky tonight. I listened intently trying to remember all important details I would later use to sway her over. The night wore on. The banter continued. I was in my intelligence gathering mode. Soon the crowd thinned. I made my move. I told her I could be her GOD, reminding her all that she shared with me. She was delighted. She said she was glad to have me as her GOD. We left the pub. I drove her. She gave me directions on where to go. She closed her eyes and was in utter bliss. The look on her face was like a woman whose prayers were answered. She clasped her hands together like a thrilled . Tonight, she is going to know what a GOD feels like. We reached our destination. I walked her to the door. She walked in. She looked into my eyes sexily and gestured with her finger. She closed the door and locked it. "GOD, I just prayed for $12,000 to be deposited into my bank account number XXX-XXXXX-X by tomorrow morning. Thank you, GOD" Moral of the story? Get your dictionary out and check the bloody definitions before accepting to be someone's GOD. Everyone has a different understanding on how to treat their GODS. Like the big green guy says, "PUNY GOD" _______________________________________________________________ The above recollection may or may not have happened or could have been gravely exaggerated due to the strange influence of available<b> intoxicating </font></b>liquid. Any semblance to real life people is purely coincidental and but thoughtfully intentional. Fun and Pleasure in Sunny Side Singapore. Come visit my blog and let's chat and explore. |
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True. I will lose a lot of hair. Then I will be a Brazillian King. Crown less, not shaved. Aahh I guess I wax and wane over such issues of being a God. Fun and Pleasure in Sunny Side Singapore. Come visit my blog and let's chat and explore.
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