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Blogs > FunPleasurable > Plumbing records

M.C.P.  

FunPleasurable 60M
1726 posts
6/3/2014 12:17 am
M.C.P.
Normally known as Male Chauvinist Pig, this is not about that.
Instead it is Malaysian Cadbury Products - held in question.

The authorities.... Those who brought you the MH370 "LOST IN SPACE" episode where some claimed that the evil robot of Will Robinson did them in..... Are now up in arms against the chocolate giant Cadbury.

It pertained to the "Halal" status of the chocolate products. For those who are in the dark ( I am not referring to Dark Chocolates in this matter although it may involve dark chocolates ), "HALAL" is similar to "Kosher" and all products must be produced in accordance to some archaic style of process involving purification of utensils and equipment using red clay and praying during full moon and making sure the ingredients for all chocolate products are free from pork or pork sources. They have taken to Jihad levels to declare war and death upon Cadbury. Now this has given "Death by Chocolates" a new meaning.

Any hint of pork would render the faithfuls from entering into heaven and receiving their 77 virgins awaiting for them up there.

And so the whole nation is in uproar over being poisoned with pork laced chocolates. I somehow get the feeling it will usually be traced back to someone in Cadbury who is a "Chinese" who has insidious plans to prevent the faithfuls from serving their God.

That has been their battle cry all these years and it has never failed to amuse us ethnic Chinese. ( sigh - how we miss such delightful free entertainment ).

And NOW, the religious authorities have determined that the Cadbury chocolates are free from pork and never had pork in the chocolates. Now that's what is called Publicity Stunt.

What the faithfuls do not realize is that if their God is so super sensitive to pork, same with the Jewish God of who we cannot name, why in the world did He create a pig?

Anyway, we Chinese indeed have an insidious plan all right. We Chinese eat pork. I just had roasted pork knuckles in red wine last night. And we then go on to contaminate the spoons and forks of the faithfuls by going to eat Nasi Padang and Nasi Lemak in their stalls. And they don't have red clay and a full moon to decontaminate them everyday.

And also my fingers are oily with pig oil. And I usually end up transferring large portions of pig oil onto the paper currency and coins, I pay with to the Faithfuls.

I guess God doesn't have to keep a large stockpile of virgins up there anymore.

The EVIL MINI ME.

And so, just like the case of MH370, the missing pork in chocolate mystery deepens.

LOL.

Hey!! Let's ban Cadbury... That will reduce demand substantially and allow us to buy Cadbury chocolates at a cheaper price. Demand < Supply economics.





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