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| Blogs > SexualySagacious > Sexuality Education Is Sexy |
Navigating the Site
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Navigating the Site "I understand that the single men feel jilted, out numbered and overlooked. Many of them have said "this isn't a site for single men"...well maybe it's not for THOSE single men. The site was originally for SWINGERS and POLYAMOROUS people. People who are comfortable in swapping partners and making connections with other people who think the same way. Somewhere along the line that changed and guys now have the impression that they are going to say hello to a chick and she will meet them and do unspeakable things to them just because they said hello...much more these guys don't want to pay the membership fee, fill out a profile, post a picture or do any work at all. Where in the world can you do so little work and reap so much benefit unless you're talking to an actual and even then you have to pay SOMETHING. I think you guys are being a bit unreasonable. There are plenty of single women out there who are looking for solidly open minded men who are still respectful and understand that a woman's sexual needs and desires are no less important or frequent than a man's. Aside from that many of you are often pretending to be single but you're really married, which puts us on guard as no one wants to be put in that situation. Not to mention that there is an age old double standard and while the site was originally made for PEOPLE of different sexual mind sets, men who met women on this site sometimes think less of her or that they don't have to treat her like someone they might have met on eH or a "real" dating website. As an openly polyamorous woman, I can't go to go to other dating sites because they are for people who believe in one kind of love. I think there are many kinds of love...but just like anything that is worth having you have to work for it. If you're too lazy to do the basics don't expect Jessica Alba to be on the other side of the screen making every dream you have come true. You need to bring something to the table and this would preferably be something from your mental regions. I have used this site to plan parties, events and other adult type gatherings. During those times, I have met life long friends and sometimes lovers with much success and as a party planner I ALWAYS INVITED APPROPRIATE SINGLE MEN to the events....so I don't really wanna hear the sob stories. If you want yet another place where single men dominate, visit a bar or a club or I dunno walk down the street and see that you guys have it made every where else but here. However, if you want to know what I would look for in a single man I'd invite to my parties or how to attract women to your profile... Here are some tips to get more hits: 1) Forget thinking this is going to be easy. You are in fact the underdog...know that respect that but use it to your advantage 2) Post a photo...and not one of your other face...but of the one your mom kisses. Also if you're going to post a video...just know that while you think a woman masturbating is HOT..only gay guys are watching you pull on your junk. More often than not women want to see you going down on someone or using your penis to help her get off. 3) Don't be cheap...pay for a membership. It demonstrates that you are committed and that you are at least willing to pay for something. Not only that but it helps you by letting you look at pictures and activity of possible dead accounts. 4) Be honest. If you're married say so. If you're looking for NSA say so...but expect that you'll get what you say you're looking for. If you're not even willing to figure out what you're looking for you'll find nothing. 5) Be willing to just chat. Women who want to meet and do more before chatting will let you know that's what they want. Those who are looking for something else will let you know besides that...you can almost always out chat crazy. If you chat with a chick and she's not all together right in the head...resist the urge to take her to bed. 6) Not everyone is here for a quick hook up. Some people are here for friends, community and yes long term relationships. More often than not...those are the people who will be less flaky and more willing to meet. Those people take work...so see #1. FriendFinder-x can be a great site with loads of wonderful opportunities to people who even begin to follow those simple guidelines. I know most of you didn't make it passed "pay for the membership" because you're thinking why should I pay for something that won't work...it won't work because you say so not because you do or don't pay for it. The site works like you work it and if you're not getting the results you want it's because of something you are or aren't doing. There are lot of other bits of advice I could give but then I'd be working for FriendFinder-x and believe it or not...they aren't paying me for this. All that said if there are some serious poly single guys out there that are having as tough a time as I am finding their primary partner...get in touch. To rest of you I wish you luck love and happiness in the way that fits you best. SS SexuallySagacious. and loving life! |
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Um do you have to be Mormon to be poly? Im not mormon and dont practice any truely, but I and drawn to the poly side of life, I dont control, im not jealous and love sharing, I never really knew it had a name......Jeff
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I couldnt agree with you more... A positive attitude doesnt hurt either... If things dont work out or go as planned, the least we could do is learn from the experience and avoid an encore. At the end of the day it isnt easier for the ladies either... Weeding out the good vs bad is as tough (if not tougher) a task as being a single guy. SexuallySagacious. and loving life!
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Very well said. It is not often I find myself in complete agreement with anyone's' posts. I usually find some point that I view differently. While I have had limited success in finding playmates (never really believed I would find any when I started), I have met some fine, fun and witty folks here. Even learned a few things along the way. I hope your message is heard and taken to heart. Only thing that isn't free is the air we breathe and that's only because the IRS hasn't figured out how to tax that. Yet.  SexuallySagacious. and loving life!
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I have done everything you said before and have not met one lady on here. Being shy and since I am shy I do not like to write about myself. SexuallySagacious. and loving life!
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I have done everything you said before and have not met one lady on here. Being shy and since I am shy I do not like to write about myself.
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7/26/2012 8:39 am |
I couldnt agree with you more... A positive attitude doesnt hurt either... If things dont work out or go as planned, the least we could do is learn from the experience and avoid an encore. At the end of the day it isnt easier for the ladies either... Weeding out the good vs bad is as tough (if not tougher) a task as being a single guy.
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Very well said. It is not often I find myself in complete agreement with anyone's' posts. I usually find some point that I view differently. While I have had limited success in finding playmates (never really believed I would find any when I started), I have met some fine, fun and witty folks here. Even learned a few things along the way. I hope your message is heard and taken to heart. Only thing that isn't free is the air we breathe and that's only because the IRS hasn't figured out how to tax that. Yet.
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