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Blogs > rm_MFPHBIC > Swinging 101 by HBIC

Lesson 4--Why Do You Want To Swing?  

rm_MFPHBIC 57F
26 posts
9/25/2012 4:29 pm

Last Read:
9/26/2012 4:10 pm
Lesson 4--Why Do You Want To Swing?
Questions to discuss before getting involved in swinging

People explore the swing lifestyle for many reasons. Some are just bored with their regular sex life and want the thrill that comes from the hunt of a new sexual partner. Some are looking to explore an activity they’ve not done before. Girl-girl exploration is one of the biggest, but there are men who want to explore with another man as well. Additionally, some are interested in groups, having sex with someone outside their race or a host of other reasons.

While the thought of swinging can be appealing on a personal level, a couple needs to have a very serious discussion about the topic including each partner’s expectations, their willingness to explore the lifestyle and what is acceptable or expected behavior while with others in a sexual context.

Some of the questions you need to ask yourself and your partner are:

1. Why are you interested in exploring swinging?

2. What makes it appealing, and why have you decided to bring this up now, as opposed to earlier in your relationship? Has your relationship changed over time, or have you always been interested? Discuss what brought you to broach the subject and why you haven’t earlier.

3. Can you emotionally handle seeing your partnerwith someone else without becoming jealous? What if your wife/girlfriend has sex with a man who appears to be satifying her more then you think you do or makes her have mulitple orgasms when it is hard for you to get her to have even one? Will you be ok with her enjoying herself with one or possibly more men while you watch? Many, many men finally get what they think they want and end up having tremendous emotional difficulties afterwards. Women face the same issues. What if your husband/boyfriend finds a young woman who will gladly have anal sex with him, deep throat him and swallow or accept a<b> double penetration </font></b>with another man? What if she has a better body, larger breasts that don’t sag and no stretch marks? Is your relationship strong enough to handle these sorts of issues and remain strong, or will these issues breed jealousy and insecurities between the two of you?

4. Are you trying to fix an issue in your relationship? Is Your marriage in trouble and you think this will fix it? Remember this - people in the lifestyle will tell you universally is that this will NOT help you fix a broken relationship. It will expose every weakness you have and probably uncover some you weren’t even aware of. Some couples mistakenly think that because they are having relationship issues that this will somehow bring them together as it is something they can share as a couple. Usually nothing could be further from the truth. It requires an extraordinarily strong relationship to handle the potential stress and conflict that swinging can bring. It can be a wonderful experience, but it will most definitely not heal a relationship that is already having difficulties.

5. What experiences would you like to have?

6. Are you looking to remain in the lifestyle, or are you just trying to fulfill a specific fantasy?

7. Talk to your partner about your wants and desires if you would agree to explore them in a safe, secure setting. Some people want to explore with a member of the same sex, have multiple partners, act out role-play scenarios, try S&M, bondage or submissive/domination scenarios. However many couples merely enjoy chatting about the possibilities and are quite content to never act on them.

These are just some of the questions that you need to ask yourselves and discuss before you meet with anyone or attend a lifestyle club. One of the first questions that people at a lifestyles clubs like My Friends Place will ask you when trying to get to know you is what you are looking for.

Whatever your reasons, talk to your partner about your desires, fantasies, wants, needs and expectations. If you can’t communicate now, fix this first. You cannot be in the lifestyle successfully and not communicate.

Class is in session.

If you want to start exploring the wonderful world of swinging in the REAL world >>! click on the following link My Friends Place for information on a great place to start your adventure.

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