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life goes in odd ways .  

clittywhisperer1 59M
44 posts
6/15/2020 10:44 am
life goes in odd ways .


As of late I made a decision to change my life in a major way .Why? My marriage of 4 years , 3 of which were at long distance with minor visits and 1 living together was just not working well. She had major emotional issues that blocked any bonding and sex was nearly non existant . How do you not know the bad experience in college messed up your sexuality ? or the bad marriage to the mentally ill guy messed up your thought process? How about you have nearly no sexual experiences that are normal , good or fulfilling in your life ? Add in bad health habits , anxiety disorder, constant worrying , lack of self confidence and there you go ..A terrible relationship with your new husband who was told everything would be just fine when he asked about the no sex or bad sex, or lack any response from her to attempts to start affections ..I trusted her .She did not know she lied .she was completely unaware until with me that this stuff was in there . I felt like I was duped. I was not happy a single hour of the time together ,even when we did try bonding spiritually, physically it was a disaster of , avoidance , fear , pulling away or just boring unsatisfying attempts ,. She turned me off totally and I stopped trying to get her excited ,it would never bring me any connection .I pulled aWAY physically and emotionally .I went through this garbage for 21 yrs the first time .I will not wait and see if it can be helped for 5 more with a new wife .I do not have the time to sit unfulfilled, angry , alone and feeling unwanted the whole time . No I want to move on ,divorce , go your way .I maybe can find a nice normal , loving , woman who shares my feelings for her and can<b> reciprocate .</font></b>Maybe not but I will not be hung out to dry again while I wait for you to get straight , you should have gotten straight before I married you .God has a purpose I guess. I had a great woman before for a number of years who set the bar pretty high . I still love her completely even if I had to stop seeing her . I know what is possible and I want that .Not going to settle for humdrum , blah , no love life marriage again . It is hard I know ,She is hurt badly , but I was lied to over and over v,

clittywhisperer1 59M
1415 posts
6/15/2020 5:07 pm

3 years and some issues showed but I put it down to nervousness she at least was horny for me some . but it never went smoothly or with passion , I asked she said oh it will be just fine don't worry , It is far from fine she has no interest at all offers me a handjob a few times won't let me lick her ,finger her won't let me shave or trim her said go get checked out ,she never even looked into it .Then shes fuming I won't wait years for her to get her head straight if it's possible … She can get straight and find me again if she wants to try . now she is angry and hurt .like im not ? after a year of no sex with my new wife living with me?


clittywhisperer1 59M
1415 posts
6/17/2020 6:14 am

Thank you . We had our first real deep honest talk. I apologized for being angry and not listening .She finally opened up about a lot of things , She was calm and thoughtful, after 2 weeks of thinking things over and soul searching .It is up to her if she wants to try working on things or just can't ever trust me again .I thought it was fair .We actually discussed the issues honestly and she thought she was much better than ever before ,I never knew she was that bad in her pervious relationships. I got frustrated because I expected normal responses ,she was too damaged to be there yet .We did not communicate well until last night .She may decide to go her way having learned a lot .That's ok ,She grew as a person ,and even had guys flirting with her for what she thinks is the first time , It made her feel good .She never felt desirable before . It will go as it goes , the practical crap is the pain in the ass.Moving , selling a car , finding an apartment , But it will get done in time either together if we reunite ,or alone . She is just finding who she is .I am sad it took this to make that happen but it will be better for her in long run . It may be the impetus for moving me in a better direction that may help me in the future … maybe a woman is out there sometime ..


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