Cougar Conventional: She Was Wanting But I'm Not Giving...Maybe I Ought To Be Stapled To The Wall!  

I came in window shopping; I left with another observational worth noting for this weekend.

Oh I did have my personal reasons for getting out of the air-conditioned comforts of my car, and into bloody beat of heat bearing down unmercifully upon me. Originally, I had a more proactive approach - I’m kind of in a late spring cleaning mode, trashing the trash and piling paperwork scattered about my room. In fact, I was quite productive, chopping much of the work down to manageable mountains, per sae - now, it was merely time for me to be organized for the important stuff mulling about.

So, I made that requisition part of my ‘To Do’ list on this day off of mine: 1) Laundry, 2) grocery shop, 3) take recycling bottles and cans out for $$$, and finally 4) pick up some folders to file away statements and the like.

Yeah, I’d like to think I have simple direction when I am focused at the task at hand. I also swing moods like several ADD moments to deter any sense of accomplishment as well.

Call it being distracted by the rainbow colors, of whatnot, but I ended up checking out their brand spanking new end cap display consisting of binders, accordion files, and other potential junk that can easily cause born again horders to get hard up on. For me, a lunch cube with a top holding a sandwich, and the bottom for desserts, or whatever food delight one can fatten themselves on when it comes to break time. I was hooked, and I was determined. What I didn’t have, was the price. So I looked around for an associate.

And lo and behold, a cougar came pouncing about.

Well, a cougar MOD (me thinks - she definitely carried herself in that manner, modeling Dickies attire to the best of her rounded figure and ability).

However, the moment the words slipped past her ruby red lips, it was a whole different situation altogether. For starters for an older woman portraying the boss, she played more like one of those giddy teenage boppers channeling valley girl sentiment when asked her for some assistance. The lunch cube had no price. Which in some amusing way, mirrored her quiz of a look when I inquired as to how much it cost.

I am not sure whether I triggered her inner blushing at a boy crush, or her Babysitter’s club mentality when I broke ice for my simple request, but she seemed flustered from the very start.

Let me count the ways:

A. She rapidly went on about how her fretted about eating the greasy soaked mish mash of all four food groups combined into monstrosity at school for lunch, and that he was looking for another way to brown bag it, less he starve while he slaved away on his education.

B. When she couldn’t find the price after entering the UPC barcode into their computer, she went back to the end cap, where we circled around a good 8 to 10 times seeing if by chance the price was hiding like the way look for Easter eggs in the tall grass. Except, she was dealing with a cardboard display housing colorful desktop office supplies - must be all the brightness blinding her and the way she was thinking after I told her I didn’t see it myself.

C. She finally went up the register, grabbing me along with her where one interrupted one of her subordinates, a little old lady who was in the middle of ringing up a sale. She pulled her away much to the annoyance of a gentleman who was buying a whole Rubbermaid looking storage units packed away nicely in his cart. Poor woman could hardly even read the minute numbers on the UPC, let alone reach the cash register. Cougar woman left me, so I, without my glasses, had to help her decipher the apparent hieroglyphics she tried translating herself. No dice.

What I had hoped would be a simple get up and go, turned into a 15 minute adventure in shopper/associate interaction - and I wasn’t even buying a computer!

Granted, in her own homily mommy sort of way, she did have the guise that if she dolled herself up a bit more, some younger man wouldn’t mind getting to know where he’d be he can staples a more intimate arrangement. But for me, I wasn’t quite feeling the warm fuzzies in a sensual way to begin with.

Maybe I wasn’t trying hard enough to be more cordial. And I’m sure that there will be those out there who would knock me over for leaving her high and dry in a less than witty manner. But that’s why we have these forums; discussions like these are great for open conversations on today’s topic.

So, how about it guys: Was I wrong not to at least engage her more, or should it all be business since she is after all, working.

Drop me a line, and let me know what you guys think.