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Training Day 2 Or An Expected Lesson
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Training Day 2 Or An Expected Lesson Took Lil Ms. Squidgie along with BatMan, The Wonder Twins and Ashara out on the Pegs in the little Hot Shorts with a flip. Purple 'Y" and the Black and Whites holdin' a light tuck and yes, Buzzy was back there along for the ride and is gonna stay put this time! Y and B/W are making sure of that. His batteries were drained anyway. So all that and a little less lube... We're all good to go. Down to CVS (West-Side!!!) for a re-up on mineral oil, Vaseline and Immodium. Ummm... Ummm... Ummm... Boi? What the Hell are you up to today? You crazy little Fuk Nut! Your point is?... "Point is, you are tired of being that frighted little boy in the Box from Nebraska. That was a different Universe. You don't have to do that anymore; The Wrangler Jeans that don't fit, the tee-shirt that was Kewl in the '80's(but not really), the blown out generic sneakers. Oh... and that hat! C(r)ap, rather. Yah, all that stuff has meaning to you and you think that it is Old Skule kewl, but there is also 'Nebraska Hick', written all over each and every one of those, so called, articles of clothing. Blazing for everyone else to see. Yes, that IS you, it is what you became, but it's not who you would have chosen to have been. So take That Ass, to the CVS and hold on to the Do-Rag, cuz everyone will figure it out pretty quickly. Zip-up hoodie drapin' off one shoulder... Tiny little black tank folded up mid-drift, (Yah, the hoodie covered it - I'm workin' on it...) Do-Rag ties draped like hair. They all know Silly, so GO!" Out the door and on my way. I needed to walk anyway. "That crap you ate at the poison dispensary the other night seems to have gone straight to the places it don't look good. Or maybe that's your confidence slipping a little! You need to simply let yourself know that you can 'Handle It'." Sure! OK... Here we go! Besides, I look fucking great in these shorts! I do... It's just a fact. Yah, sure, there are people that look better. True they are not the standard attire for one of my persuasion, 'They' say. 'They' say, in Nebraska, "Get your head out of the cornfield". I say, just Get your Ass straight into the Pornfield. It may not mean much to many, and it may be immoral to some... Disgusting to others, but I actually am, an 'Internationally known, amateur porn star(actor)'. "Uh-hem, Cam Slut!" So I say anyway. So I say, accept it. I like it like that. I already fucked off the chance to go pro when I was 25. When I realized (Or was fed the thought) that I Might, Just might, have to start in 'Gay Porn'!!! "God Forbid!" Yah, 'They' say that about porn too. "At least we know who 'They' is, now". What if I had got pigeon holed into nothing but butt". Yah, ya blew it as a cuz your head was in a place that had no intention of letting you be the person that you are. You would have loved gay porn, if it were not for the stigma given to you about it by society. So, walk bee..Atch!! One foot in front of the other! Keep those legs close! Pop that hip up! Now the other..." Always remember: Walk on the crack to break society's back. Foot placement is key to hip movement. "There ya go!" Oh, yah, king street is pretty busy. It's too hot to put the hood up so I'll just deal with it. No one fucking cares anyway. Its the Cruz(West!Side!!!). What the fuck are they gonna say? "They're gonna say, 'I want that Ass!' That's what they're gonna say." Boys and Girls alike. "Your Good!" And I mount the King. Hey! I wanna get something sweet to drink, it's hot out. Can't we go to the corner store first? - "Butt you're here Boi, Stick to it." Wahhhh.... "Oh Fine... Sure, circle back around and grab some Cranberry and Redbull... Pussy!" As I step in past the dude parked in the beemer and the hick walkin' up from the pumps. (Fuk Me Pumps?... Yah, that will be one of the challenges - We'll get there...) Those guys... They just can't figure it out. They don't know why they are attracted to that hick in the Bootie Shorts? Well, we were all confused once or twice. And everyone here is again now. At least I like to look at myself.(Mirrors Rock!) Are you 'Happy' with that body you're wearing there Mr. beemer? How dark is it when you fuck Hick? And what kinda pussy are you afraid of Wifey? "Hi there Wifey." In the door. Check the beemer, Yup Still lookin'! Damn Man! I forgot, all I got is a 'Note'. I ask Jose if he can bust it for me. He says yah without batting an eye. "Thanks Dude". Who IS this trashed, probably homeless, guy lurking right behind me? Why is he trying to Pop around the counter towards Jose? Ooppss! Hick walkin' up from the pumps just turned into Tweeker. Damn Man! I just told him that I's holdin' a 'Note'. He can't get to the smokes behind the counter so he looks at me and tries - Tries - to think it... "Lets roll this little fag"! "Not bloody likely, Tweeker!" As I lock eyes with him he starts to hear. "I've worked too hard and come way too far to let you get to him. He is not YOUR bitch! Tweeker changes tack and asks me if I'll buy him a pack of smokes. I just say no. On a better day or if he hadn't given off that violent vibe, I would have worked it out with him, but this guy is trashed! He needs the kind of help I can't give him and a pack of smokes ain't it. I am workin' on me right now and I'm not getting into this. Tweeker whines, "Please???" and then says, "I got's some crystal!" Yah, Precisely why you don't have any smokes. I turn with the 'Note' in my hand, not trying to hide it at all, and lock eyes with Hick Turned tweeker, once again. I step up too him eyes fixed. (I think it may have had a lot to do with the floor or maybe, it was one of those Mystery spot spots - They're all over the place if you try to notice them) Now Tweeker becomes shocked and surprised as, all of the sudden the little fag, that he was 'not' thinking of rolling, is about three inches taller than him and talking like he just got off the bus from Nebraska with an accent that said, "Corn-fed. Not Corn holed". "I said, 'No!' And this gentleman over here." I gestured to Jose with the Hundred. "Seems to NOT want you hanging out around here." As Tweeker tried to get me to step back, and failed, he found his way around me. I was not letting go of his lost gaze, as he was now backing up towards the door. This fag in lock step with his every move to make sure he was headed in the right direction. OUT tha Door! Tweeker left the store very confused thinking, "What just happened?" I just got ran off, scared by this little fag I decided not to roll? I went back to finish my trans-action. I had absolutely no idea what I was wearing anymore. I looked at Jose with a WTF and he said to me that Tweeker had been hanging out trying to steel just about anything and he had been working his way around the counter to get at the smokes. I said, "Yah, that's the<b> vibe </font></b>I got from him". Jose didn't say Thanks. I didn't expect him to. Nor did I expect a thanks. I also didn't mention that Tweeker would probably not be back. And then it leaked out of me... (No, not that!!! That is not even there anymore - This was just me and the world as it is now.) What leaked out were words. Words that I said. That I verbalized, "Sometimes I just don't have any tolerance". When I heard the words coming out my mouth, I wanted to cry. That is not me. I love my homeless Brothers and Sisters... I was one at a time or two. But I have guidelines that I push with all of them. 'Come across peaceful and communicate clearly'. This guy was doing neither. and it locked me down because he ripped me out of my own world right back in to the shyt I am trying to rise above. This had nothing to do with what I was no longer wearing. Damn him and me both. Who am I anyway? I got my change off the 'Note' and I asked Jose how Much a pouch of rollies was. He said, $7.99". I said, "Gimme a pouch." He looked at me with the confusion that had set in all around. I said, "Yah, I'll buy them for the guy". I can do that. I left Jose with that confusion sitting firmly on top of the kind I gave Mr. beemer on the way in. That I had slammed onto Tweeker. It was just a little different. Jose knows me from when I have come in before, as 'Nebraska boy'. He can see that I am still the person that I was then. But that I was trying to be different now. I think maybe he even saw me dressed as Nebraska boy now. Cuz he never batted an eye. I went out and looked around the lot for Tweeker. Cars coming in to get fuel. Drivers looking at me, stopping to stay out of my way or maybe just gawk. Maybe they were thinking that I was the one in distress. Here is this total Hick, in these short, short Bootie Shorts and all that... I couldn't find Tweeker. I looked Up and down and across Mission. Jose looked in the bathroom. Tweeker was gone. The Dude bounced as if he never existed in the first place. Both Jose and myself were set aback. Tweeker couldn't have gotten that far. I was a bit concerned that I might run into him around the corner and I kept an eye out for getting jacked. I even tucked my cash in my panties. But I never saw him again. I was also no longer wearing clothes that I was, at all, unsure or embarrassed of. I restarted my walked to CVS; hips popping, smile on my face, music from the backyard BBQ tickling my ears - 'No Rain'. A perfect blue sky with only a short little jet trail in it. Aahhh. I can breathe again. The flowers and fresh mowed lawns all giving me faith in the world once more. I hop back up on the King. The Family on bikes, Dad in the front trying so hard not to look. in a trailer. Mom behind with a big, huge smile for me that said, 'Oh... I know he wants to look...'. Mine saying, 'you should let him.' When I got to CVS I looked for the challenge, but it was gone. I acted/was as sexy as I wanted to be. Looking people in the eyes was nothing. I got my Butt Fucking Gear and walked up to the counter to pay. A little concerned, but not trying to hide my loot or my bootie and no problems counting this time. A cute Hispanic guy on my Ass. I should have teased him. He wanted it, but I was still with Tweeker. I still had his smokes after all. I remembered to walk right all the way home. Head up. No rush. Hips moving. Smile on my face. And then I hear it! "Fucking Fag!!!" Now... I hear glimpses of sounds and voices and words all the time. When I can't make them out, I tend to make them up. Mood, confidence level, situation, all play a part in the conversations I think I over hear. And I play with them in my head accordingly. But this was real and accurate. A 20 or 30 something female an a car moving the opposite direction. I heard blue eyes and dirty blond hair. Maybe a bit on the out of shape side, but I did not see her. I Didn't even flinch. I Didn't look back. I certainly didn't stumble. I can not judge anything other then, she sure wasn't happy. Her words dripped with anger, resentment and disappointment with herself and her situation, what ever that situation may have been. The only reaction I had was that my smile went to my ears and to my eyes. Not in mockery of her but rather in a sense of accomplishment for me. That! Was exactly what I expected. That was exactly what I got. I was ready for it. It didn't hurt. It didn't fill me with confusion. It didn't make me step back like in times before when I have heard those words ring out directed at me. I didn't even care. And I didn't have to use the excuse of 'But that's not true". I simply did not care. Say what you will, I am who I am. Even on the West Side of the Cruz, some sorry little chick, in as bad of a spot as Tweeker(hell maybe it was Tweekers Girl lookin' to stick up for her man and eek out a little revenge) was out to drag someone else down to their level. I wasn't falling for it. I was sad for her and I hope she gets her pack of smokes, what ever that may be. So that one day, soon I hope, she realizes the weight of the words that leaked out her mouth and that she was wrong to say them. Just as I realized the weight of what I had said only a few minutes before. And that my thoughts behind them were wrong. Sometimes a pack of smokes does help. Come on gang, Let's go home. Chin up - Look up - Stiff upper lip. Tight Ass and all. Handled! Cheers And Oh Yah...   Peace |
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