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Basic Attraction 101 (or Why We are Attracted to Some Men and Not Others)
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Basic Attraction 101 (or Why We are Attracted to Some Men and Not Others) In talking to new men online, I have often been asked what I find attractive in a man. To me, it is one of those imponderables. An attraction is either there, or it isn't. Sometimes a man who looks nearly identical to another will say or do something that sets him apart from one for whom I will never develop an attraction. It is part of why I don't see how easy it would be to fall into bed with your husband's brother when he is away. I see similarities, but you know what you're doing. No excuses. But that has me off my original topic, basic attraction. Before I wander too far afield, everyone has their own aspects for attraction that they must analyze. There are generally a number of physical components you can find in common between the many men who have caught your eye (if not necessarily graced your bed) throughout your life. This is a part of the baseline. Personality compatibility cannot be overlooked. And, of course, we usually tend towards those with similar intellectual capacity. This in mind, I looked back at the men I have been attracted to, focusing on the celebrities who would be well enough known for discussion. It didn't really clarify matters, but here goes. With my earliest celebrity crushes, a little logic appears. I was attracted to John Wayne and Carey Grant. Maybe the pairing doesn't make so much sense, but let me explain. The simple link is Katherine Hepburn. She was my role model, a pairing of intellect and ability in a dainty but strong package. Okay, so I never associated with the dainty bit, but I fully saw the strength, intellect, and ability within myself. I was raging potential, just looking for that path to follow. So, of course, the men I was attracted to were equal to my role model and accepted her for who she was. Add that she was always a little quirky, and who else would I have patterned myself after? Both Carey Grant and John Wayne held their own and added to her characters, so they became the ideals for men in my mind, from the earliest age. Also, through my formative years, I found myself drawn to Winston Churchill. The strength of character that he exuded in the face of an enemy almost anyone would have considered superior and the ability and focus to overcome and overturn it where it had taken root was certainly something that put him in front of Wayne or Grant. Real victories over makeup any day, so he was a firm backbone to who I was attracted to in a man. John Wayne, though, stayed the general pattern of man I would be attracted to, as the Carey Grant types weren't generally anywhere in my sphere of influence. Can anyone really picture someone they knew who reminded them of a single one of his roles from their life? Perhaps some can, but I can't. John Wayne became the ideal, where Carey Grant became an elusive beast of a possibility. From the great divide, men and (at the time) boys I was attracted to were all of the more rugged, manly types. Military men were a good example, not to say that they aren't a key component today. Which made my one significant teenage crush a perplexing addition to the equation. Prince. I don't believe anyone will ever fully understand the attraction there, though we will all curiously note that it still exists. We loved his music, because it was innovative, but why we loved him will always confuse us. Me, anyway. I've never been attracted to overly lean men. But he is Prince, and he is a magnet. After high school, John Wayne remained the standard. Attractions to Russell Crow, Denis Leary, Chow Yun Fat, and Arnold Voslov can be directly traced to him. Attractions to John Cusack and Kevin Spacey are likely tied to Carey Grant instead. Deep roots will direct us. The actor who plays Nick on New Girl (okay, I'm lazy not looking him up online) is another odd one for me but, like Prince, I just feel drawn to him. And it is the actor, not the character, as I will raptly watch him in whatever piece of crap he has acted in as he has worked his way up the food chain. He's good, but I'm not certain where he fits in the grand scheme of things. Certain aspects of John Wayne without being overly manly, and certain aspects of Carey Grant without being overly urbane. The culmination of the synthesis of my initial attractions? A quandary, to be certain. That the attraction for him allows me to be happy for him when he finds happiness with someone else instead of being jealous is a little odd, but I've never been possessive of my crushes. I would only want to meet two of them, and they are both dead. No late night ceremonies in New Orleans graveyards for me, thank you. Meeting them is best left undone. All of that said, where does that apply here? At no point do I ever mention a penis size, shape, or color. No mention of penis at all, other than the implied in that each attraction is suspected to have been or be in possession of one. So, why are men so obsessed in showing a woman that she would be attracted to him through penis pictures? The world may never know. |
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Given a choice I think any man would fancy himself as Carey Grant....he was without a doubt the smoothest operator.....mind you he was bi in real life, but hey who cares!
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I don't think any man comes near Carey Grant in reality, same as with Bond, but some people will think well of themselves. He also had a wit about him that men generally lack.
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