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The Joys of Rejection
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The Joys of Rejection P and I have become quite spoiled over the last year and a half, with regularly having the house to ourselves for weekends. Well, just recently that came to an abrupt halt! Our (who is 22 and still lives at home) recently broke up with his girlfriend, who lived 40 miles away. It used to be every weekend, he would leave after work on Friday nights and we wouldn't see him until dinner (which he never seemed to miss) on Sunday. While we mourned the loss of our alone time, he was mourning the loss of a relationship. And, in typical young fashion, neglected a few things (like a shower- he had to be told!) and he has holed up in the basement - quite the cliché, but we do have a finished basement with a man cave when he is not working. We gently pressed and found out it is because he changed jobs, and he is now in sales. Due to the commission structure, he has been struggling a but financially while building a clientele. Based on what he is telling us, he is doing it quite well. However, his company pays part of his commission weekly and the majority of it twice a year in a 'bonus' style. Which has made his cash flow suffer as he is waiting on the next bonus. His girlfriend got mad because he had to 'cut back' on the nights out, the splurging on gifts and even buying food while he was there - he told us they had a big fight in a grocery store - she wanted a roast while he was holding hamburger. Not good. Trying to talk to him is not easy. It bothers him, so he shuts us down. He admitted to P he feels like a "failure" because he is having this happen. Makes me remember being young, and getting knocked down, especially in romance. I know, hard to believe that could happen to me, right? LOL... We have all felt the pain of a failed relationship at some point, and now being in the lifestyle we are opening ourselves up to the risk of rejection again. And I don't know anyone who enjoys being rejected! P and I have been together since 1985. 29 years. And as I say, 26 of the best years of her life! I have been with her over half of my life, and her the same. We have been through some fantastic times, some awful times, and a lot of living. So for us, this is nothing more than a chance to get to know great people and possibly have an adventure or two! Yet, even with all that, getting rejected rudely is awful, especially for her. Recently, a couple who we had only talked to - that decided we -of all people- were too promiscuous for them - we had just had our first adventure - one - and we were too promiscuous- talked with a mutual friend, and sang our praises about how great we were, how much they liked us, and that they definitely had to get back in touch. Needless to say, we haven't heard a word, nor do we expect to. They were quite rude in their rejection, and P is not forgetting that. We have also been in the position of having to say no interested to people, for whatever the reason (seems to be lately due to smoking - I can't tolerate smoke and we make that well known). We try to be gentle, and at the least respectful. One couple contacted us, we weren't interested due to smoking, has recontacted and now listed as non smokers - we are open to talking and getting together for a meet and greet! Now to make matters worse this week, our was home from college on spring break - and her room is right next to ours - so P has 'not been in the mood - what if she hears' for almost a week! Isn't life great! |
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I remember being a little older than your son and being told by a woman I adored that we could never be together because I didn't have a house and money in the bank. She wanted a comfortable life. Our kids never see us when we are young and struggling. I have the kitchen table my parents started off with. My Dad made it. its 4 x 4 with counter top on it and metal edging. 4 long legs screw into the bottom. They were to broke to buy one so he made one. Point is your son is on the right path. I know when your heart is hurting its hard to see. He should count his blessings as this woman sounds like she could have made him a slave to his money. Rejection! How do you let someone down? Age old question. The few times its been me doing the rejecting I try to be honest but nice. I have found lots of people idea of rejection, seems to be just stop talking in the middle of a conversation. No bye, no I not interested, just leave you hanging! To the rude rejections, I just thank myself we never hooked up. Less hassle later on.
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