What’s the Fear in Meeting? - a Blog Post by khuXBFXM8u

6260 posts
1/14/2015 8:31 pm

What’s the Fear in Meeting?

Why are you scared to meet? Beyond the obvious fear for safety… what is the fear? You like someone, you like talking to them, you keep reaching out to them… but when it’s time to meet, you make half the plans then go quiet, disappear, cancel, or delete your profile. Perhaps I give people the benefit of doubt far too often… I expect I’m dealing with an “adult”, who is actually looking for the things they say they want.

I have been fishing in the pond the last few months (few fish on FriendFinder-x of interest locally, and the ones of interest are either not real or not biting). I am forever trying to understand the behavior of adult women. On the pond the have a feature called “meet me”, where you can indicate you want to meet someone as a way of flirting I guess. Most of them I just ignore after reading their profile, but some I actually reach out and message. Then a<b> bizarre </font></b>thing happens… the message doesn’t go through because they have blocked you. The thought goes through your head… another flake. Then there are the ladies, who initiate contact, you talk, agree that you would like to meet each other, start working on the details, date, time, place… somewhere in the process, they just stop responding, and a few just up and delete their profile. Yesterday it happened again but with a twist, which is why I’m writing this post.

I had many conversations through the Christmas holidays with a lady; she seems cool, fun, intelligent, level headed and nice, someone you would want to meet. We both had a crazy Christmas schedule, so finding a date that worked was challenging. We found a date that worked for both of us, then poof… she is gone. A few days go by with no response to confirm the date, so I message to say, “It seem you have lost interest, good luck with your search”. A week goes by; then she suddenly returns with an apology late yesterday afternoon… basically saying:
“Sorry, I started dating someone now I’m not”, “So how about coffee sometime”

I respond, “OK”, as I am packing up to leave work for the day, and head off to pick up my .

A few more messages back and forth and we agree on a date to meet.
I was going to be out by her the day we agree to meet, inform her of this, and asked if there is a place close by that she likes… I’m also tell her I about to start driving so there will be long gaps between responses. She responds “Let me think about it and I'll send a message later. Drive carefully”.

I go and have my evening with my ; then I get a message from her a few hours later:

“hey there,

Sorry I just got out of something and I thought I was ready but I don't think I am. All the best to you with your search.”

WTF

Now I keep thinking that a first meet, first date, whatever you want to call it is a “look see”… the is no expectation, other than two adults are going to meet, talk, hopefully enjoy each other’s company, and see if there is anything further. The likelihood that there will be anything is 50/50 at best. I have met some great women, but if I don’t see what I’m looking for there will be no second meeting, and I’m sure the reverse is also true. But I keep meeting people because, without meeting it’s just a lot of polite conversation, and blogging already fills that space. Some seem to treat meeting like it’s a promise of marriage or something… I just see it as a met because I’m curious about someone.

Is it me? Or WTF

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petitandnaughty 113F

9755 posts
1/14/2015 9:33 pm

Fear is a powerful emotion. However, I don't think that what you described happened because of fear. Many people, men and women alike, like to play games. They get satisfaction from process of getting to know each other over emails and/or phone conversations. When it gets to a point of actually meeting face to face, they disappear or find some inane excuse to cancel. And, as nicelips66 said, there're guys posing as women or couples.
Of course, there're instances when people change their mind for one reason or another, or they have real emergency and have to cancel/reschedule. Unfortunately, because of internet anonymity people feel malicious satisfaction playing games.

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