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How Messy is Messy
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How Messy is Messy  I once knew a woman who loved sex, but she loathed the idea of using saliva as lubricant and while she wanted foreplay anything remotely wet was a turn off. Making love without using my tongue is like tying one of my testicles behind my back. Only certain parts of the human body lube naturally and even those usually need an assist. Now in fairness, she was a galloper once started and never let you down in the stretch, but she had this thing about staying neat, and sex isn't neat. In fact it's messy. Neither a man or a woman emerges from the bed after a rollicking full speed gallop between the sheets with themselves or the bed in very good order. There's enough bodily fluids on the sheets for another ten years of CSI and very likely you are both going to spend the night in the wet place --- which is everywhere but the extreme edges of the bed. You probably aren't in much better shape. I have come out of bed with scratches that needed iodine, hair (when I had it) no comb could get through, my face glazed with the ladies juices like a donut --- and if it was good enough throat and chest too --- crotch soaked, cock dripping and drooping and she wasn't in much better shape trying to get to the bath with out opening her legs for fear your and her juices will leave a trail to the bath. That doesn't even begin to touch on the sweat, the hormone flooded sex smell, and the various oils, lubricants, and on some of the kinkier nights whipped cream, peanut butter (never crunchy), jello, fruits, and ice cubes that may have been employed in the moment. I haven't touched on petroleum<b> jelly </font></b>or baby oil. You both probably started out looking pretty good, but somewhere around the time the heavy breathing, dirty talking, and nails and or teeth in your shoulder and or butt were unleashed anything resembling decorum went out the door along with hygiene. If you emerge coiffed and with not so much as a bead of sweat you weren't doing it right. Sex is messy. Sometimes it's very messy. When it's very good it resembles playing in the mud more than it does romantic fantasy. Yes, I'm exaggerating --- some --- but not as much as you might think. I can recall many a night two of us slept on the couch, the spare bed, or even in a chair because the bed was t0o sticky, and we were too wiped out to change the bedclothes. Thank God for Woolite or some of her better playsuits would have been one time only accessories. Incidentally there is a product to remove pet stains available that will take care of any 'human' stains as well when most commercial people products fail. And I've noticed that delicate, pristine, neat, sugar and spice girls have been known to wake you up feeding on certain sticky body parts so it isn't all guys and puppy tails. Sex isn't always quite this epic in its untidiness, but even at it's neatest the end result isn't dripless, and if you add multiple orgasms and squirting to all the rest the bedroom can end up looking like ground zero for hurricane Sandy. I understand that our showered and perfumed society constantly beats us over the head with deodorants, douches that smell like summer, aftershaves and perfumes would give Mother Nature a migraine, and constant reminders that germs lurk everywhere. And yes cleanliness and hygiene are very important both in mating and health. But we do have soap and water, indoor plumbing and washing machines. At the point you have half his cock down your throat, his face is buried in your most private sanctuary and you are each trying to insert digits in places you normally wouldn't touch, it really isn't the time to worry about how fresh you are. Clean up before hand, and clean up after, but during the act (or if you are lucky acts) messy is the natural state and no one ever had an orgasm because they remembered to put a doily under the bottle of lube. With any luck half the fun is trying how to figure out how certain stray fluids manage to get places you don't even recall being near when you start cleaning up.  Lust brings you together, love keeps you there, sex keeps the mechanism lubricated.  |
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It aint no good unless you get it all over! LOL
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