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Women's gossip to an extreme!
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Women's gossip to an extreme! I went out the other day with few friends for beers at our usual hangout. I like these outings because I always end up being partnered with a beautiful woman, former girlfriend of my niece that I wrote about before, along with another great couple. And we hobbled along conversations when suddenly the girlfriend struck a remark how I previously said that I am a type of a guy who would let his woman go sleep with another man if she felt like it. And my response was: SAY WHAT??? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM??? And both her and the other girl said how another time in our previous conversation in the same bar I mentioned EXACTLY that, and they definitely know I said that because they both could confirm they remembered hearing it.  Well, needless to say those are not exactly my typical sentiments, so I probed deeper into the details of what they thought I said, when etc. And then I could finally recall having this conversation about a month ago! And talking about GIANT misunderstanding!!! I admit that I have very tolerant sexual views, and that I am also quite open in expressing my honest opinion about my approach to relationships. But the discussion was that when I go into a relationship, I give complete trust to my woman. I do not waste any time in questioning my woman. I give her full benefit of a doubt, and the trust is there to be either respected or taken advantage of. Choice is hers, I choose to trust, and seek the same in a relationship. Ultimately if you cannot build a relationship based on foundations of trust, you might as well not bother as it will always lead to problems. I did even admit that in my tolerant point of view, I would allow my woman to love other people, including other men, because it is not my right to decide whom my partner can invest emotional<b> ties </font></b>to, family or otherwise. It is not my place to force such unhealthy control. In this case, I will always welcome such love if it is based on principles of kindness and respect, and once again, as I trust my woman, I trust her too that such feelings will never breach any line that she too would not want me to breach against her. In fact I think these are very simple rules, rules to give my partner freedom of expression, and freedom of growth, attributes that I think are very important for a woman to be able to be her healthy self and to be able to continue to grow as a woman; attributes that in fact I think only foster greater bonds of love between a couple. We are in a relationship to enrich our lives, and not limit it.  But these two ladies took my word "love" and understood "make love". And after that, no matter what else I said, even if it was NOT consistent with this reasoning, that is all they planted in their head, and went with this story!!! In fact, I heard they were gossiping about it for hours in the last month!!! Because it was so shocking to them! And a juicy gossip at that! And speaking of shocking, how crazy that neither one of them sought any clarification during our discussion at a time (or after), neither asked any questions to make sure that they were not perhaps misunderstanding. As I said, I mentioned many points along that discussion that clearly contradicted their imagined story! I even mentioned that during this reunion talk! But they dismissed it with "we both heard it! Blah blah blah!" I was also shocked how poorly I can either express my point of view, or how easily my unusual way of thinking can be warped to something very different from an intended message! I guess my communication skills are still not on par of what I expect them too!  I know women enjoy a juicy gossip, but to lead to such a provocative projection without any further insight from me was a tad astounding to me. They did joke though that now that all was clarified, they somewhat enjoyed this avant-garde image I previously presented 
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Although this is true, women gossip, so do men my dear. I know of a few men that insist, the same as your women did, that I myself said something I did not and never would. They insist they saw me post it in the chatroom for all to see, and that is just not true. Unlike yours, no matter what I say or how much proof I can have to show them it isn't true they just are not budging on it. I am very clear about my wants, dislikes, not wants, not in this lifetimes stuff. How anyone could come up with some of the things people think we say or do is beyond me. What is worse is the people that don't know you take off with these stories and then bend them to something worse and everyone believes them!! I am like, they don't know me, don't talk to me, don't do anything with me at all. How could they possibly know this is fact???????? Unfortunately, it happens and we have to just try to roll with it. I am glad yours got the clarification.
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Now you have a deeper understanding of how some women take things out of context! LOL... Oh women...  "Some women aren't meant to be tamed. They just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them." - Sex and the City
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Quoting: Suadelatouch replies on 7/14/2015 8:44 pm: Thank you for responding! Although, luckily for me, we re talking about somewhat different circumstances, everything you say rings true to me! In your case it sounds like you are a target of malicious attack so it is irrelevant of what you say. And if true, that is sad and unfortunate and I hope you can ignore it. You are right that anyone can gossip, and I bring up the example to demonstrate how easily it can happen. Luckily for me, it was amongst people that actually care for me. All the best! It started out as just gossip. Then one person believed it then another and another. If someone thought a person was (example) say gay, and they were not, and it spread around and suddenly everyone thought one was gay when they were not. No matter what they say everyone still thinks they are gay. It isn't a malicious attack, no one is going around bashing me, but they think I said something about myself (not the gay issue, something else entirely), and no one will accept that I did not say it at all. They collectively think I did say it. The difference is as you said, yours was friends and people who care about and for you. Mine is some acquaintances, not close friends, but people who do actually know me and they still believe it. What I am saying is not irrelevant based on it wasn't people who care about me and I repeat this is not a malicious attack at all. I am just not repeating what the comments are so that "I" am not feeding into it. I am agreeing with you totally that one doesn't have to actually do something to have gossip fall in their laps and be stuck in it very easily. Men and women do gossip and words do get twisted all the time.
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